Editor’s note (December 2025): This article was originally published in 2008 and has been reviewed and updated to reflect current blogging platforms, social media dynamics, and online community management best practices.
In high school, we had the geeks, nerds, drama queens, beauty queens, jocks, jills, freaks, grungers, punkers, and band members. I’m sure there were more social classifications, but those were the most popular clichés. Every year, I worried about going back to school and hating all the social isolation and groupings that formed, never wanting to be a part of any of them. I’d try to think of the start of the school year as a fresh, clean slate.
Maybe this year, the jerks from last year would have had a mental makeover and play nice. Maybe they would understand that relationships are built with honey, not vinegar. Maybe the drama queens would tone down their drama, the beauty queens would find self-esteem, and the jocks and jills would understand that grunting and poking fun at non-jocks just wasn’t fun anymore.
The transition happened for some, I’m sure. But within the first few weeks of school, we knew which kids were the losers, asses, and bullies to avoid, the twits and sillies to laugh at, and the queens and kings we envied for their calm, cool, self-confidence and voted them as student body officers, even though we really hated them — or at least made fun of them from our weird little corners of our social world.
From Static Pages to Social Spaces
The move from static HTML to dynamic blog platforms opened my website to social interaction—interaction that was both welcome and terrifying.
Over time, those who hung around and contributed through blog comments became part of my social circle, brought together by common interests.
Blogs felt like the next generation from the early usenet groups and online forums that gathered people with common interests to exchange information and form support groups. As with all such social groups, you have your good guys and bad guys, along with the geeks, nerds, jocks, jills… oh, and band members.
Social networking emerged on the web, expanding the social relationship climate for online users through blogs, bookmarks, peer pressure, and a variety of networking options that created new communities.
Today, this extends far beyond traditional blog comments to include social media replies, Discord servers, Substack communities, and countless other digital gathering spaces.
While the social web continues moving the world online and forward with relationships crossing borders, cultures, religions, and languages, one question remains: have we really left our high school mentality behind?
Mean Spirited Commenters and Bullies Come to Roost
I’ve written extensively about mean spirited comments, comment tips and techniques, and when commenters get out of control. What surprises me is how people are so shocked when a comment bully appears on their blog. They often find my posts and ask me what to do about it.
Why is anyone surprised by this behavior?
We humans bring our experiences and history with us to the web. Bullies will always be bullies, online and off. Jerks will be jerks. Just as I hoped at the start of the school year that they would change, few changed.
Just because the location changes doesn’t mean the nastiness of human social behavior changes with it.
The more people entering the virtual world of the web, the more difficult personalities join the crowd.
Putting Negative Comments in Perspective
Don’t let a negative visitor influence your entire outlook. One or two nasty commenters shouldn’t change your blog experience. Look at the odds. One person recently complained that their site gets 50-100 comments a day, but how this one nasty commenter was ruining the experience for everyone.
Really? One comment out of maybe 500 a week is a problem?
Consider this: Does everyone who reads your blog read every comment on every blog post? Not everyone who reads a post will read every comment. The people impacted are those reading that particular post and finding that particular comment.
What are those numbers? One? Two? Twenty? Fifty? And not everyone who reads your blog post will comment, so maybe the numbers are a little higher—but are readers really offended by the commenter? Or is it you with the problem?
The only one truly feeling the heat is you, the blog administrator. It is your response to the mean commenter that sets the tone for everyone involved.
Taking Control of Your Comments
How do you respond?
You are in charge of the comments on your blog. You choose what appears or disappears. You can edit blog comments or delete them. You can leave them, respond, or let others respond.
Modern blogging platforms like WordPress, Ghost, and others provide robust moderation tools that make managing comments easier than ever.
The best protection from nasty commenters is prevention. Here are the essential steps you should take to set the ground rules for blog comments on your site.
1. Define Your Comment Policy
Test yourself by setting up scenarios in your mind about what you will or will not allow on your blog.
- Will you allow profanity?
- All of it or only certain “acceptable” words?
- What about name-calling?
- Will you allow arguments within your blog comments?
- Will you allow signatures and signature links?
- Are nicknames and search term keywords in the comment name acceptable?
- Will you allow commenters to publish email addresses or private information?
- What about links?
- What about HTML in the comments?
The more clearly you define your comment policy, the easier it is to act when those scenarios occur.
2. Publish Your Comment Policy
A clear public comments policy defines what you will or will not allow on your blog so everyone knows the rules. This sets the guidelines and answers questions before they’re asked.
Many successful blogs include their comment policy in the footer, on a dedicated page, or directly above the comment form. Be sure to follow your own rules consistently.
3. Comply with Your Comments Policy
There will always be exceptions to the rules, but no one respects people who don’t play by their own rules. If you say you won’t allow profanity, then remove it when it appears. Use built-in moderation features or plugins to filter specific words or put certain keywords in comments into moderation.
If you won’t allow signature links, then edit and delete the links in the comments to set an example. Whatever your policy, practice what you preach.
4. Update Your Comment Policy
As your blog evolves, your feelings about blog comments will change. Maybe your skin will toughen and you’ll be more willing to allow more heated debates. Or maybe you’ll toughen your stance and be more willing to hit the delete key to keep your comments constructive.
As your position on comments changes, so should your comment policy.
Modern Considerations for Comment Management
Since this article was first published, the landscape of online discourse has evolved significantly. Today’s bloggers should also consider:
- Spam filtering tools: Modern anti-spam solutions have become remarkably effective. Services like Akismet can catch the vast majority of spam comments before they ever reach your moderation queue, letting you focus on genuine interactions.
- Community building: Many bloggers now supplement traditional comments with community features like newsletter discussions, private Discord servers, or membership communities. These spaces often foster more thoughtful conversation because participants have more invested in the relationship.
- Mental health boundaries: It’s okay to take breaks from moderating comments. It’s okay to close comments on older posts. It’s okay to disable comments entirely if they’re affecting your wellbeing. Your blog, your rules.
- Legal considerations: Depending on your jurisdiction, you may have responsibilities regarding user-generated content on your site. Familiarize yourself with relevant regulations and consider including appropriate terms of service.
The fundamental truth remains unchanged: human nature shows up everywhere humans gather, including your blog comments.
Your job isn’t to change that nature – it’s to create and maintain the kind of space where the conversations you want to have can flourish.
This article is part of Blog Herald’s editorial archive. Blog Herald was founded in 2003 and is now operated by Brown Brothers Media. Learn more about our editorial standards and history here.
