8 red flags that someone is not to be trusted

Trust is a vital ingredient in our relationships. However, not everyone deserves that trust.

Sometimes, we miss the signs that someone is untrustworthy. It could be a friend, a colleague, or even a family member trying to deceive us.

Recognizing these red flags can protect us from manipulation or potential harm.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 8 clear indicators that someone may not be as trustworthy as they seem. Paying attention to these signs could save you a lot of trouble in the long run, so let’s dive right in.

1) They’re inconsistent

Inconsistency is often a major red flag when it comes to trustworthiness.

We all have off days and nobody is perfectly consistent all the time. However, if you notice someone is frequently changing their stories, contradicting themselves, or acting differently based on who they’re around, this can be a cause for concern.

Trustworthy people are typically reliable and consistent. They have a strong sense of who they are, and they don’t feel the need to change their stories or their behavior to impress different people.

So if you notice someone’s behavior or words are often inconsistent, it could be a sign that they’re not being entirely honest. And honesty is a key pillar of trust.

Take note of these inconsistencies. They could be an early warning that this person is not to be relied upon.

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It’s often seen as a sign of honesty and confidence. When someone consistently avoids eye contact, it can be a red flag.

I remember a time I was negotiating a deal with a potential business partner. Everything on paper looked good, but something didn’t feel right. He would rarely look me in the eye when we discussed the details. Instead, his gaze would wander, or he’d focus intently on his coffee cup.

This avoidance of eye contact made me mistrustful. It felt like he was hiding something or wasn’t being completely honest with me. After further investigation, I found out he had been involved in several shady deals in the past.

This experience taught me to trust my instincts and pay attention to non-verbal cues like eye contact. If someone can’t look you in the eye, it might be an indication that they’re not being truthful.

3) They’re quick to place blame

When it comes to trust, responsibility is a crucial factor. However, some people have a habit of shifting blame onto others, never taking accountability for their actions.

In psychology, this behavior is known as projection. It’s a defense mechanism where individuals attribute their own undesirable feelings or behaviors onto someone else. They’d rather point fingers than face the reality of their own faults or mistakes.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who are quick to blame others are often the ones most likely to engage in the behavior they’re criticizing.

So, if you notice that someone is always playing the blame game and never taking responsibility for their actions, consider it a red flag. It could be a sign that they’re not trustworthy.

4) They’re overly secretive

Everyone has the right to privacy, and it’s normal to keep some aspects of our lives to ourselves. However, when someone is overly secretive or evasive about details that should be harmless to share, it can be a sign that they’re hiding something.

Being open and transparent is a key component of trust. If someone consistently dodges questions, changes the subject, or gets defensive when asked about their life, it could be a red flag.

Trust is built on mutual understanding and openness. So if someone is always shrouded in mystery and secrecy, you might have to question their trustworthiness.

5) They break promises often

We’ve all experienced the disappointment of a broken promise. It’s a sting that can leave us feeling let down, betrayed, and wary of relying on that person again.

Trust is built on the foundation of keeping our commitments. It’s about showing others that they can depend on us to follow through with our words. When someone consistently breaks their promises, it erodes this foundation of trust.

It’s especially concerning when the person doesn’t seem to show remorse or understanding of the impact their broken promises have on others. It shows a lack of empathy and consideration, which are key components of trustworthiness.

So if someone in your life repeatedly fails to keep their promises, consider it a serious red flag. Trust is about more than just words; it’s about actions. And actions, as they say, speak louder than words.

6) They gossip excessively

I have a friend who seems to always have the latest scoop on everyone in our circle. At first, it seemed harmless, just a bit of chit-chat. But over time, I realized that her fondness for gossip extended to sharing private information and even spreading rumors.

This made me uncomfortable and I started to question her trustworthiness. If she could share others’ secrets so freely, what was stopping her from sharing mine?

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Gossiping may seem like a benign activity, but it’s a clear sign of disrespect for others’ privacy. If someone gossips excessively, especially about sensitive or personal information, it’s a strong indicator that they can’t be trusted with your own secrets or confidences.

7) They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental human trait that allows us to connect on a deeper level and build trust.

When someone lacks empathy, they struggle to understand the feelings and needs of others. They may seem indifferent or dismissive of your feelings, or they may struggle to show compassion when you’re going through a difficult time.

A lack of empathy can be a sign of narcissism or other personality disorders, and it’s often associated with untrustworthy behavior. If someone consistently shows a lack of empathy, it could be a sign that they’re not able to form healthy, trusting relationships.

8) They have a history of deceit

One of the most definitive red flags of an untrustworthy person is a history of deceit. If someone has repeatedly lied, cheated, or deceived others in the past, it’s a clear indicator that they can’t be trusted.

It’s true that people can change, and everyone deserves a second chance. But when dishonest behavior is a recurring pattern, it’s not something you should overlook.

Always remember: actions speak louder than words. If someone’s actions show a pattern of deceit, it’s wise to approach with caution. Trust is earned through consistent honesty, and a person with a history of deceit has a long way to go to earn that trust back.

Final thoughts: Trust your intuition

The complexity of human interaction and trust is deeply intertwined with our gut feelings or intuition.

This sense of ‘knowing’ without concrete evidence has been studied extensively. Psychologists often attribute it to our subconscious, picking up on subtle cues and patterns that our conscious mind overlooks.

When it comes to identifying untrustworthy individuals, your intuition might be your most reliable guide. It can alert you to red flags that you may not consciously recognize.

Whether it’s a feeling of unease during a conversation, a nagging doubt about someone’s story, or a sense of discomfort around a particular person, your intuition can provide valuable insights.

Remember, trust isn’t just about someone else’s actions or words. It’s also about how those actions and words make you feel.

So as we navigate the complexities of human relationships and trust, let’s not underestimate the power of our intuition. After all, it might just be the most trustworthy guide we have.