Workplace dynamics can be a mess—especially when it feels like some women just click better with their male coworkers than with other women.
I’ve seen it time and time again, and it raises a question: why is that?
After years of diving deep into relationships and running the Love Connection blog, I’ve picked up on some patterns.
I’ve noticed seven specific traits that these women tend to have in common—traits that might explain why they vibe so well with guys at work.
But let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t about picking sides or playing favorites.
It’s about understanding the different ways we connect and communicate, and how those differences can make work relationships smoother (or messier).
1) Confidence
Confidence is a trait that’s often associated with successful people, and it seems to be especially relevant for women who get along better with their male colleagues.
Now, this isn’t about being arrogant or overbearing.
It’s about having the self-assurance to communicate effectively, hold your ground during disagreements, and take on leadership roles when needed.
In my years of observing workplace dynamics, I’ve noticed that men tend to appreciate colleagues who exude confidence.
They respect those who aren’t afraid to share their ideas and take the initiative.
This doesn’t mean you have to change your personality or adopt a more ‘masculine’ approach.
Instead, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin and standing up for your beliefs.
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Women who can do this often find themselves in a more favorable position when interacting with male colleagues.
They’re seen as equals, not as competition or subordinates.
And most importantly, they earn the respect of their colleagues regardless of gender.
2) Vulnerability
Now, this might seem counterintuitive, especially after talking about confidence.
But hear me out.
Vulnerability may not be the first trait that comes to mind when thinking about successful workplace relationships, particularly with male colleagues.
However, it’s an often overlooked quality that can significantly enhance your interactions.
Research indicates that displaying vulnerability in professional settings, such as admitting mistakes or seeking feedback, can build trust and improve team dynamics, leading to stronger and more authentic relationships.
It’s about showing authenticity, allowing others to see you’re human and have weaknesses just like everyone else.
This can make you more relatable and approachable.
Men, like anyone else, appreciate honesty and authenticity.
Being able to show vulnerability suggests a level of trust and openness that can foster stronger, deeper connections.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean oversharing or bringing personal problems into the workplace.
It’s about being real and honest, acknowledging when you don’t know something or need help.
This level of transparency can lead to greater respect and understanding from your male colleagues.
3) Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is another key trait that can significantly influence how women get along with their male colleagues.
It’s about being aware of your own emotions and those of others and using this understanding to navigate social interactions effectively.
As someone who has spent years studying relationships, I’ve found that emotional intelligence is often the secret sauce to harmonious workplace dynamics
. It allows you to empathize with others, handle conflicts gracefully, and build strong, meaningful connections.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deep into the concept of emotional intelligence and its importance in maintaining balanced relationships.
Applying these principles in the workplace, especially with male colleagues, can be a game-changer.
It promotes understanding and respect, helping you work together more effectively.
Just remember, it’s not about suppressing your emotions but rather understanding and managing them.
4) Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a trait often associated with strong, positive relationships, and it’s no different in the context of women who get along well with their male colleagues.
Being assertive is about clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings while respecting those of others.
It’s standing up for your rights and needs in a calm and positive way without being aggressive.
I remember a quote from the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg that perfectly encapsulates this.
She once said, “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”
It’s this balance between self-expression and respect for others that can make all the difference in workplace relationships.
Assertiveness not only fosters mutual respect but also encourages open communication, a key element in any successful working relationship.
Keep in mind, that assertiveness is a skill that can be learned and developed over time.
So even if it doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry.
With practice and patience, it’s definitely within your reach.
5) Flexibility
Flexibility is a trait that’s often overlooked, but it’s crucial for building strong connections with colleagues, especially male ones.
Being flexible means being open to different perspectives and ways of doing things.
It’s about adapting to changing situations and not getting stuck in a “my way or the highway” mentality.
Research shows that workplace flexibility and adaptability are associated with better collaboration and improved relationships among colleagues, as they foster an environment of mutual respect and open communication.
In my own experience, I’ve found that flexibility promotes a more harmonious working environment.
It shows your colleagues that you value their input and are willing to consider alternative solutions.
This can be particularly effective in interactions with male colleagues who may have different viewpoints or approaches to work.
6) Active listening
Active listening is one of those skills that can truly transform your relationships, not just at work, but in all aspects of life.
It’s about fully focusing on the other person, understanding their point of view, and responding thoughtfully instead of merely waiting for your turn to speak.
Stephen R. Covey, the author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
In my experience, this certainly rings true.
But when you practice active listening, you demonstrate respect and empathy towards your colleagues.
This can be especially impactful in interactions with male colleagues who may communicate differently than you.
It takes practice, but the rewards of active listening are well worth the effort.
And it’s a two-way street.
Encourage your colleagues to engage in active listening as well, fostering a more open and understanding workplace.
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I regularly post articles and insights that might just transform your approach to relationships.
7) Authenticity
At the end of the day, nothing beats being your genuine self.
Authenticity is a trait that resonates with people, regardless of gender.
In a world where we often wear masks and play roles, being authentic can feel like a breath of fresh air.
It’s about being honest with who you are, your strengths, your weaknesses, your quirks – and not being afraid to show them.
Research indicates that individuals who display authenticity at work are more likely to build trust and establish strong, meaningful relationships with colleagues, leading to higher levels of job satisfaction and engagement.
Don’t try to fit into a mold or change yourself to get along better with male colleagues.
People can sense when you’re not being true to yourself, and it can create a barrier to genuine connections.
Being authentic might mean that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea – and that’s okay.
Not everyone has to like you.
What’s important is that they respect you for who you are.
Authenticity builds trust, fosters mutual respect, and paves the way for deeper, more meaningful workplace relationships.
Wrapping it up
Understanding human behavior is a complex task, and it gets even more intriguing when we delve into the dynamics of workplace relationships.
Navigating professional relationships, particularly those between different genders, can often feel like walking a tightrope.
However, the seven traits we’ve discussed – confidence, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, assertiveness, flexibility, active listening, and authenticity – can provide a solid foundation for building stronger, more harmonious interactions with male colleagues.
Remember this: there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to successful relationships.
Each person and each interaction is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
But by understanding these traits and working on them, you can improve your relationships at work and beyond.
As a relationships expert, I’ve come to understand that the journey of personal growth and improved relationships is continuous and multifaceted.
And sometimes, it helps to learn from others who are on similar paths.
One such individual is Justin Brown who has shared his insights on various aspects of personal growth and relationships.
I recommend you watch this video where Justin discusses the complexities of finding a life partner, reflecting on his personal experience after a failed date and the lessons he learned.
His insights on shared values and mutual support in a relationship could further complement our discussion here.
Remember, at the end of the day, we’re all works in progress.
So let’s keep learning and growing together.