There’s a significant difference between being just a man and being an upstanding man. This distinction lies mainly in behavior and attitude.
I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a self-confessed mindfulness enthusiast.
I’ve spent years studying psychology to understand what makes an upstanding man stand out from the crowd.
Psychology reveals that these men display unique behaviors that set them apart.
These behaviors aren’t things they do occasionally but are ingrained habits that define their character.
So sit back, relax and let’s dive in.
1) Integrity at the forefront
An upstanding man understands the value of integrity and always keeps it at the forefront of his actions.
According to psychology, people with high levels of integrity are more trustworthy, reliable, and respected. They stick to their principles even when it’s challenging or inconvenient.
This isn’t just about being honest; it’s about being consistent. An upstanding man’s actions match his words, and he’s not afraid to admit when he’s wrong.
This behavior isn’t just admirable; it’s contagious. When others see a person living out their values with integrity, they’re more likely to follow suit.
So, if you’re striving to be an upstanding man, remember that integrity is key.
Even when no one is watching, make choices that align with your principles. Not only will you respect yourself more, but others will too.
2) Empathy in action
Empathy is one of those unique behaviors that truly set an upstanding man apart.
It’s not just about understanding someone else’s perspective, but genuinely feeling their emotions and responding with kindness and understanding.
I remember a situation where I was tested on this very trait. A close friend of mine was going through a tough break-up. He was distraught, confused, and felt like his world was falling apart.
As an upstanding man, it wasn’t enough for me to pat his back and offer him a beer. I had to put myself in his shoes, feel his pain, and offer support that went beyond comforting words.
I spent hours listening to him, offering advice where I could, and reminding him of his worth. It wasn’t easy, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
3) Resilience and adaptability
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, while adaptability is the capacity to adjust to new conditions. An upstanding man embodies both these traits.
Did you know that our brains are wired to be adaptable? It’s a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity.
The more we practice resilience and adaptability, the more our brains get better at it.
An upstanding man faces challenges head-on, not fearing failure but embracing it as a learning opportunity.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity when things don’t go his way, he analyzes the situation, learns from his mistakes, and adapts his approach for future endeavors.
In a constantly changing world, resilience and adaptability aren’t just admirable traits; they’re essential for survival and growth.
4) Mindfulness and presence
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get lost in our thoughts and lose sight of the present moment.
An upstanding man, however, understands the importance of mindfulness and presence.
Mindfulness is a concept deeply rooted in Buddhism.
It’s about being fully engaged in the present moment, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, without being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into how mindfulness can help us lead more purposeful lives. I share practical ways to cultivate mindfulness, enabling us to be more present, attentive, and engaged in our daily lives.
Being fully present allows an upstanding man to make more thoughtful decisions, build stronger relationships, and experience life more fully.
It’s not about ignoring the past or future but about embracing the present. After all, the present moment is all we really have.
5) Authenticity and self-awareness
Authenticity and self-awareness go hand in hand.
It’s about understanding your strengths and weaknesses, embracing who you are, and not being afraid to show it to the world.
There was a time when I struggled with self-doubt. I’d compare myself to others, questioning my abilities and worth. It was a challenging period, full of uncertainty and unease.
What helped me through it was self-awareness. I started journaling, reflecting on my thoughts and feelings, my successes and failures.
This process helped me understand myself better and accept who I was, warts and all.
Being authentic isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real. And being self-aware isn’t about focusing on your flaws; it’s about understanding yourself better so you can grow.
An upstanding man isn’t afraid to show his authentic self. He knows his worth, acknowledges his shortcomings, and continually strives for improvement.
Authenticity and self-awareness are key traits that make a man truly upstanding.
6) Humility and the power of saying “I don’t know”
In a world that often equates knowledge with power, it may seem counter-intuitive to admit when we don’t know something.
But an upstanding man understands the value of humility and isn’t afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
Admitting you don’t know something isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of honesty and openness to learning.
It shows that you’re not afraid to be vulnerable, to step out of your comfort zone, and to learn new things.
Contrary to what some people might think, saying “I don’t know” doesn’t diminish your credibility.
Instead, it enhances it. It shows that you value truth over appearances, and that you’re willing to learn and grow.
So don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn something new.
An upstanding man knows that true knowledge comes from recognizing our ignorance and continually seeking to expand our understanding.
7) Respect for all
An upstanding man understands that respect isn’t something to be demanded, but instead, it’s something to be given.
He respects all people, regardless of their status, background, or beliefs.
This includes respect for differing opinions. An upstanding man knows that he doesn’t have all the answers and that he can learn from everyone. He listens with an open mind and heart, even when he disagrees.
Respect also extends to actions. An upstanding man treats others with kindness and consideration.
He acknowledges the worth of every individual and treats them as he would like to be treated.
In a world where respect is often tied to power or prestige, an upstanding man knows that true respect is about acknowledging the inherent worth in all people.
And by treating all people with respect, he commands respect in return.
Final thoughts
While we have explored the unique behaviors of an upstanding man, it’s important to remember that these traits aren’t just something to be acquired. They are a part of a deeper, inner journey of self-discovery and growth.
This journey isn’t always easy. It requires courage, honesty, and a commitment to personal growth. But it’s a journey worth embarking on.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into this journey. I explore how ancient Buddhist teachings can guide us in becoming not just good, but great — men of integrity, empathy and courage.
As you reflect on this journey and the traits that define an upstanding man, remember that these behaviors are not a checklist or a destination. They are a compass guiding you towards your truest self.
So embrace the journey within. As you continue to learn, grow, and evolve, remember that being an upstanding man isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real. And in this authenticity and continuous growth lies the true essence of an upstanding man.
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