We’ve all met someone who seems to make every interaction a little harder than it needs to be.
Maybe it’s their energy, their attitude, or the way they handle situations, but being around them feels like an uphill climb.
It’s not always about bad intentions—sometimes, it’s just habits or traits they might not even realize they’re projecting.
The truth is, how we come across to others can deeply impact our relationships and how people perceive us.
As a psychologist, I’ve noticed that there are patterns of behavior that can create friction and make social interactions more challenging for everyone involved.
So today, let’s explore that. Here are 9 traits of people who are universally difficult to be around:
1) They are constantly negative
When it comes to universally difficult people, one trait often stands out: negativity.
No, I’m not talking about an occasional down day. We all have those. This is about a consistent pattern of negative thinking, negative talking, negative behaving.
These individuals rarely see the glass as half-full. Their conversations are often dominated by complaints, criticisms, and gloomy predictions.
It’s almost as if they’ve constructed a grey lens through which they view the world. Consequently, they can drain the energy from a room just by stepping into it.
Interacting with such individuals can be exhausting. After all, who wants to be around someone who’s perpetually raining on their parade?
As psychology says, energy is contagious. No wonder we instinctively distance ourselves from negative people!
2) They’re overly critical
Speaking of negativity brings me to this subtype of it — constant criticism.
I think we can all agree that constructive criticism is a good thing. It helps us grow and improve. But there’s a distinct line between constructive criticism and being overly critical.
People who are universally difficult to be around tend to cross this line quite frequently. They have a tendency to nitpick, finding faults where none exist.
Rather than offering helpful feedback, their critiques are often harsh and devoid of any positive reinforcement. It feels more like an attack than guidance. It seems as if nothing we do is good enough for them.
This constant barrage of criticism chips away at our self-esteem, making it really hard to be in their company.
Let’s be honest: no one likes to feel constantly judged or criticized. It’s emotionally exhausting and unwelcoming. And that’s why this trait makes them difficult to be around.
3) They lack empathy
“You’ll get over it—everyone does.”
“Why are you still upset about that? It’s not a big deal.”
“I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
Statements like these highlight a common trait of people who are universally difficult to be around: a lack of empathy.
When someone struggles to understand or validate the emotions of others, it creates a sense of disconnection and frustration.
Instead of fostering comfort or support, they often dismiss feelings or shift the focus onto themselves, leaving others feeling unheard and invalidated.
Empathy is the glue that holds relationships together. Without it, interactions feel cold and one-sided, making it hard for people to trust or open up.
Whether it’s brushing off a friend’s bad day or disregarding a partner’s emotional needs, a lack of empathy can turn even small interactions into a source of tension.
Imagine trying to share your feelings with someone who just doesn’t get it or worse, doesn’t care. It’s frustrating, right? And over time, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a positive relationship with such individuals.
4) They’re excessively self-focused
While it might seem contradictory, being excessively self-focused is not the same as lacking empathy.
In fact, some overly self-focused individuals can be quite empathetic. They may understand and even share your feelings.
But here’s the kicker: Their own needs, feelings, and experiences always take precedence.
These individuals have a tendency to turn every conversation back to themselves. They often view events and situations solely in terms of how it affects them. This ‘me-first’ mentality can be quite off-putting for those around them.
So even if they do understand your feelings, their excessive self-focus can make it feel like they just don’t care.
5) They’re resistant to change
Ever met someone who just won’t budge?
No matter how much you reason, plead, or even argue, they remain stuck in their ways. They’re resistant to change and this can be incredibly frustrating.
People who are universally difficult to be around often exhibit this trait. They cling to their beliefs, habits, and perspectives, unwilling to consider alternatives.
And it’s not just about being stubborn. It’s about an inability or unwillingness to adapt, grow, and learn from new experiences.
This resistance to change can make them seem rigid and inflexible. It’s difficult to get along with someone who won’t even consider a different viewpoint or approach.
6) They’re masters of manipulation
People who are universally difficult to be around often have a knack for manipulation. They know how to twist situations and words to their advantage.
Here are some common manipulation tactics they might use:
- Playing the victim card
- Gaslighting
- Guilt tripping
- Passive-aggressive behavior
These tactics can often leave you feeling confused, guilty, or even doubting your own perceptions. It’s a form of emotional abuse that’s not always easy to recognize, but it’s incredibly damaging.
Their ability to manipulate others is not just a sign of their difficulty, it’s also a major reason why we instinctively pull away from them.
7) They lack accountability
Picture this: You’re working on a project with a colleague. Things go wrong and it’s clearly their mistake. But instead of owning up to it, they start pointing fingers, making excuses, or blaming everyone else.
Frustrating, isn’t it? It leaves you feeling unsupported and questioning whether you can rely on them in the future.
Accountability is a cornerstone of trust and respect in any relationship. When someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions, it creates resentment and erodes confidence.
It signals an unwillingness to learn, grow, or contribute fairly, making every interaction feel like walking on eggshells.
No matter where you are or who you’re dealing with, this behavior is universally difficult to tolerate. A lack of accountability doesn’t just create conflict—it also reflects a deeper inability to reflect on oneself and make amends.
And without those qualities, it’s nearly impossible to form lasting, healthy connections with others.
8) They’re ungrateful
I remember helping a friend move into their new apartment. I spent the whole weekend lifting furniture, unpacking boxes, and even putting together their IKEA bookshelf (which, let’s face it, is no small feat).
By the end of it, I was exhausted but happy to help. But instead of a simple “thank you,” they started pointing out everything that hadn’t been done yet, as if my efforts didn’t even matter.
It stung, and honestly, it made me think twice about helping them again.
Ungratefulness has a way of souring relationships faster than almost anything else. When someone consistently overlooks or dismisses the effort others put in, it sends the message that nothing is ever enough.
Over time, this lack of appreciation creates a sense of imbalance in the relationship, making others feel undervalued and unmotivated to continue giving.
Gratitude isn’t just about being polite—it’s about recognizing the contributions of others and strengthening bonds through mutual respect.
People who can’t express gratitude are often seen as entitled or self-centered, which makes them universally difficult to be around. After all, no one wants to pour their time and energy into someone who doesn’t appreciate it.
9) They lack respect for boundaries
People who disregard boundaries often come across as intrusive and overbearing. Whether it’s ignoring a request for space, overstepping in personal matters, or failing to respect time commitments, this behavior can leave others feeling frustrated and disrespected.
Boundaries exist for a reason—they protect personal space, emotional well-being, and individual priorities. When someone consistently ignores them, it shows a lack of regard for the needs and feelings of others.
It’s actually more than an annoyance. It’s a violation of our personal space and autonomy.
What can we do about it?
Understanding these traits is one thing, but what can we do when we encounter people who are universally difficult to be around?
Here are a few suggestions:
- Set clear boundaries: Make it clear what kind of behaviors you will and won’t accept.
- Practice empathy: Try to understand their perspective. It may not justify their behavior, but it can help you respond better.
- Avoid unnecessary confrontation: If their behavior is not directly harming you, it might be best to avoid engaging in arguments.
- Seek professional help: If you’re dealing with such individuals in close relationships, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor.
The key is to protect your peace and prioritize your emotional health. Difficult people may be a fact of life, but they don’t have to define how you experience your relationships or interactions.
By focusing on what you can control, you can navigate these challenges with confidence and grace.
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