Ever found yourself utterly drained after spending time with someone?
Not from physical exertion, but from the emotional weight they leave behind.
It’s that friend who never stops complaining or the colleague who always makes every conversation about themselves.
These subtle, yet powerful behaviors can sap our energy without us even realizing it.
In a world that demands so much from us, the last thing we need is someone who takes more than they give.
Here’s a closer look at the traits of people who unknowingly (or knowingly) leave us feeling exhausted—and how to protect your peace from their emotional drain.
1) They are constant complainers
Some people seem to carry a constant cloud of negativity, no matter how small the issue.
They’re the ones who always find something to complain about. Being around constant complainers can be emotionally draining.
Our brains are wired to empathize, so we naturally absorb the emotions of those around us.
When someone is always voicing dissatisfaction, it feels as though we’re sharing in their frustration or sadness.
This emotional drain can leave us feeling mentally and physically exhausted, especially when it becomes a regular part of our interactions with them.
2) They always make it about themselves
I once had a friend named Mark. He was fun and outgoing, but there was one problem—every conversation revolved around him.
If I mentioned that I had a tough day at work, he’d immediately start talking about his own work problems. If I talked about a recent trip, he’d quickly steer the conversation toward his own travel experiences.
Mark was a classic example of someone who always made it about himself. And let me tell you, it was exhausting! Every interaction left me feeling unheard and unimportant.
This behavior can be draining because it disrupts the balance in the relationship. One person may begin to feel undervalued, leading to frustration and fatigue. So, it’s not just irritating—it’s a real emotional drain!
3) They don’t respect boundaries
Boundaries are essential for maintaining personal well-being and ensuring relationships remain respectful. They represent the invisible lines we draw to protect our space, emotions, and time.
Unfortunately, some people don’t respect these boundaries, creating unnecessary stress. Even when you clearly express you’re unavailable or need time alone, they persist with calls, messages, or showing up uninvited.
They may pressure you to share personal information you’re not ready to divulge, making you feel uncomfortable or violated.
This constant boundary-pushing can trigger stress responses similar to a physical threat. Over time, it wears you down mentally, as your body remains in a constant state of alert, draining your energy and peace of mind.
4) They lack resilience
We all face challenges in life, but how we react to those challenges determines how draining or uplifting our presence can be to others.
Enter resilience, or as I like to call it, the superhero trait.
People who lack resilience struggle to bounce back from setbacks. Instead of facing challenges head-on, they dwell on problems, spreading stress and anxiety to those around them.
Why is this relevant? Well, resilient people are far less exhausting to be around. They navigate life’s storms without letting it affect their demeanor, leaving us with more energy after each interaction.
It’s this strength that allows them to keep going, as Steve Maraboli wisely said, “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient.”
5) They’re overly critical
Growing up, I had an aunt who had a knack for pointing out every little thing I did wrong. Whether it was how I dressed or the way I spoke, she always had something to critique.
As you can imagine, spending time with her was far from uplifting.
Overly critical people have a way of making us second-guess ourselves. Their constant scrutiny chips away at our self-confidence, leaving us feeling inadequate and drained. It triggers defensiveness and anxiety, draining our energy over time.
6) They’re overly agreeable
Now, this might seem a bit counter-intuitive. After all, isn’t it easier to get along with agreeable people?
Well, not always.
People who are overly agreeable, to the point of never voicing their own opinions or desires, can be surprisingly exhausting to be around.
This is because genuine human interaction requires a balance of give-and-take. It’s about sharing ideas, disagreeing respectfully, and finding common ground.
When someone is just going along with everything you say or do, it can feel one-sided and inauthentic. Not to mention, it puts all the pressure on you to lead the conversation or make decisions, which can be tiring.
So yes, even though it might seem like being agreeable would make someone easier to be around, too much of it can do just the opposite!
7) They’re always on their phone
Picture this: You’re having lunch with a friend, but instead of engaging in conversation, they’re glued to their phone. Frustrating, right?
People who are always on their phone during social interactions can be draining. It conveys that they’re not fully present or engaged with the moment, leaving you feeling sidelined.
This constant distraction can make the other person feel insignificant as if competing with a device for their attention. No matter how urgent the text or email might seem, it’s mentally exhausting to constantly vie for someone’s focus, leaving you feeling disconnected and undervalued.
8) They’re always late
Being around someone who’s always late can be incredibly frustrating. Whether it’s a casual coffee or an important meeting, constantly waiting for someone creates a sense of imbalance.
While it may seem like a small issue, habitual lateness can signal a lack of respect for others’ time, and it takes an emotional toll.
The waiting game creates unnecessary frustration and resentment, making the experience mentally exhausting. It’s not just an inconvenience – it’s a subtle drain on your energy and patience.
So, the next time you find yourself waiting for someone who’s always late, remind yourself: it’s okay to feel drained. Your time matters too.
Final thoughts: It’s about energy exchange
Human interactions are a complex exchange of energies, where we give, take, influence, and are influenced.
When dealing with exhausting people, there’s an imbalance in this energy exchange—where you give more than you receive, leading to frustration and fatigue.
Understanding these traits isn’t about judging others, but recognizing how they affect us and how we can protect our mental energy.
Reflect on whether you exhibit these behaviors too and how you can adjust to promote healthier interactions.
The goal isn’t to avoid such people but to develop strategies to preserve your well-being while engaging with them.
After all, we’re all evolving in our pursuit of better relationships.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
