Have you ever ended a day feeling completely drained, even though nothing particularly stressful happened?
Emotional exhaustion doesn’t always come from big, dramatic events—it often creeps in through the little things we do (or don’t do) every day.
Many of us unknowingly engage in habits and behaviors that quietly sap our energy, leaving us feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or just plain tired. These emotional drains can pile up over time, impacting our mental health, relationships, and overall happiness.
But the good news? Once you identify these sneaky culprits, you can start taking steps to protect your emotional well-being and reclaim your energy.
In this article, we’ll uncover 7 such things you might be doing that are draining you emotionally—without even realizing it—and how to turn them around. Let’s dive in!
1) Neglecting self-care
One major emotional drain that goes unnoticed is the lack of self-care. We get so caught up in our daily routines, work, and responsibilities that we forget to take care of ourselves.
Neglecting basic needs like proper nutrition, sleep, physical activity and downtime can take a toll on our emotional health. It’s like running a car without regular maintenance – it might work for a while, but eventually, it will break down.
Experts in their field back this up. For example, those at Psych Central have noted that a lack of self-care is associated with low energy, feeling hopeless and even worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety.
The takeaway? Self-care is not selfish. It’s essential for maintaining emotional and mental health.
2) Being too hard on yourself
This is a big one and I know the effects all too well.
A few years back, when Hack Spirit was still in its infancy, I found myself constantly pushing, striving for perfection, and criticizing myself for every little mistake. It was exhausting.
Eventually, however, I realized that my self-criticism was not only unproductive but was also taking a huge toll on my emotional health. I was draining myself emotionally without even realizing it.
Once I cut myself some slack and started treating myself with the same compassion I’d give a friend, things changed dramatically.
Do you beat yourself up over small missteps or feel like nothing you do is ever good enough? It might be time to change that. As advised by clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson, “Treat yourself like you would someone you’re responsible for helping”…because you are.
3) Multitasking
Okay, so here’s a more practical one.
I think it’s fair to say we’ve been led to believe that multitasking is a good thing. We think it makes us more efficient, and some companies even list it as a required skill in job descriptions!
However, experts would disagree. Some say that multitasking can reduce productivity by up to 40%. This is due to what are called switching costs—the mental energy required to shift between tasks.
Our brains simply aren’t wired to focus on multiple complex things at once, and the constant switching leads to mistakes, slower work, and yes, emotional exhaustion.
So, what’s the solution?
Well, it’s as simple as you might have guessed: singletasking. Focus on one thing at a time until it’s done before moving on to the next. Simple, but easier said than done.
To get into the habit of singletasking, you might need to set clear boundaries—like silencing notifications, creating time blocks for specific tasks, and giving yourself permission to focus fully.
However, over time, you’ll likely find that not only are you more productive, but you feel calmer and less drained by the end of the day.
4) Seeking constant validation
We’re social creatures by nature. We crave acceptance and validation. But when the need for constant approval from others dictates our self-worth, it becomes a problem.
When we base our self-worth on external validation, we set ourselves up for emotional turmoil. It’s an emotional roller-coaster that goes up when we receive praise and crashes down with even the slightest criticism.
Instead, focus on cultivating self-validation. Recognize your own worth and learn to appreciate and love yourself for who you are.
5) Constantly comparing yourself to others
In today’s digital age, it’s all too easy to fall into the comparison trap. Social media platforms are filled with carefully curated highlights of people’s lives, making it seem as if everyone else is living a perfect life.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and can be incredibly draining emotionally. It’s like running on a treadmill, constantly trying to catch up but never really getting anywhere.
It’s important to remember that each person’s journey is unique. What we see on social media is just a small fraction of someone’s life, not the whole picture.
As Theodore Roosevelt famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Focus on your own path and celebrate your own progress.
6) Stressing about the future
Do you find yourself constantly worrying about what might happen tomorrow, next month, or even years down the line?
As harsh as it might sound, this is probably pretty futile. While preparing for the future is important, worrying about things that are completely out of our control does nothing but drain our emotional energy.
Perhaps, the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said it best: “There are more things,… likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
In other words, our minds often exaggerate potential problems, making them seem far worse than they actually are—or might ever be.
So what’s the solution?
First, recognize what’s within your control and what isn’t. Focus your energy on actions you can take today to prepare or improve your situation, and let go of the rest.
Practices like mindfulness or journaling can help keep you grounded in the present moment, where life is actually happening.
The future isn’t here yet, and worrying about it only steals joy and energy from today. Instead, channel your efforts into the things you can influence right now.
7) Not setting boundaries
Last but not least, setting boundaries is an essential aspect of maintaining emotional health.
It’s about defining what is acceptable to you and what isn’t, in terms of how others can treat you, behave around you, and what they can expect from you.
Not doing so can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. It’s like leaving the door of your house wide open; anyone can walk in and invade your space.
Renowned researcher and author Brené Brown once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Dare to set boundaries and protect your emotional well-being.
In conclusion: It’s a journey of self-awareness
Emotional exhaustion can sneak up on us through everyday habits and behaviors, but the good news is that once we recognize these patterns, we can start making meaningful changes.
By taking small, intentional steps—like setting boundaries, focusing on the present, and practicing self-compassion—you can reclaim your energy and emotional well-being.
You don’t have to change everything all at once. Even a single shift in mindset or behavior can make a big difference over time.
You deserve to feel balanced, fulfilled, and emotionally strong. Start with one of these points today and watch how your energy and happiness begin to grow.
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