8 things you don’t owe your adult children an explanation for

There’s a fine line between being a supportive parent and overstepping into your adult child’s independence.

The difference? Respect for autonomy. As parents, we often feel obligated to explain our every decision to our children, forgetting they’re grown-ups now.

Here’s the thing: you don’t owe your adult children an explanation for everything. Maintaining your own boundaries is not only healthy, but also necessary.

In this article, I’m going to share with you eight things you’re not obliged to justify to your grown-up kids. Let’s dive into it, shall we?

1) Your financial status

It’s a tricky subject, isn’t it? Money matters.

Despite the open conversations we encourage today, your financial status is one area you don’t owe an explanation about to your adult children.

Why’s that? Well, they’re adults now. They should be managing their own finances and not relying on yours.

Sure, transparency is important. But remember, it’s your hard-earned money, your investments, and your decisions.

You worked hard for it, right? So you decide how to spend it, save it or invest it. No explanations needed.

Just make sure you’re not misleading them or leaving them in the dark about significant issues that could affect them. Balance is key here.

2) Your personal life choices

This one is close to my heart. We all make personal choices, and we don’t owe anyone, including our adult children, an explanation for them.

Let me share a personal example. A couple of years back, I decided to take up painting as a hobby. It was something I always wanted to do but never had the time for.

My daughter, bless her heart, was initially confused. She asked why I would want to start something so ‘out of the blue’ at my age.

I simply told her it was something that made me happy. I didn’t owe her a detailed explanation about my newfound passion or the reasons behind it.

We’re entitled to our own interests and hobbies, and we don’t need to justify them to our grown-up children. They should respect our decisions just as we respect theirs.

3) Your relationship with your partner

Here’s something to ponder on. Adult children can experience emotional distress when they perceive their parents are in an unhappy marriage.

But remember this: Your relationship with your partner is your own business. You don’t owe your adult children an explanation for every argument or disagreement you have.

Of course, it’s important to maintain a peaceful environment at home, but disagreements are a normal part of any relationship.

Your adult children should understand this and respect your privacy. After all, you’re navigating your relationship the best way you know how.

4) Your career decisions

Your career path is yours to tread. You don’t owe your adult children an explanation for your career decisions, whether you decide to retire early, switch jobs, or even start your own business.

Sure, they might have their opinions. They might worry about financial stability or the risks involved. But remember, they’ve got their own careers to manage.

You’ve probably spent a good part of your life making decisions for the sake of others. Now it’s time to do what’s best for you.

Your career decisions are yours to make and yours alone. Stand by them, no justification needed.

5) Your self-care routines

Self-care. It’s a term that’s gained a lot of traction recently, and for good reason.

In this fast-paced world, taking the time to care for oneself is more important than ever. Especially as parents, we tend to put ourselves last, focusing on the needs of our children, even when they’re grown up.

But here’s a heartfelt reminder: you don’t owe your adult children an explanation for your self-care routines. Whether it’s going for a quiet walk in the park, meditating, or even taking a nap in the middle of the day.

It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. Taking care of yourself allows you to be there for others more effectively.

So give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being. No explanations needed.

6) Your dietary choices

A while ago, I made the decision to switch to a plant-based diet. It was a choice that came from deep within, aligning with my beliefs and health goals.

My son, an ardent meat-lover, didn’t understand my decision. He questioned why I’d give up something I’d enjoyed for years.

But here’s the thing: My diet, your diet, anyone’s diet is a personal choice. You don’t owe an explanation to your adult children for the food you choose to consume.

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Sure, it might seem odd to them if you suddenly decide to go vegan or start a keto diet. But remember, it’s your body, your health, and your choice. They should respect it as you respect theirs.

7) Your political beliefs

In today’s climate, political discussions can turn heated pretty quickly. And while it’s great to have open dialogues, remember this – you don’t owe your adult children an explanation for your political beliefs.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. Just because you’re family, it doesn’t mean you all have to align politically.

Respecting each other’s perspectives, even when they differ from our own, is a crucial part of maintaining healthy relationships.

So whether you lean left, right, or prefer to stay in the middle, it’s your choice. No explanations needed.

8) Your life’s regrets and mistakes

Here’s something that’s often hard to swallow – you don’t owe your adult children an explanation for your past regrets and mistakes.

We all have chapters in our lives we wish we could rewrite. But those experiences shaped us into who we are today. They’re part of our journey, our narrative.

It’s not about hiding the truth, but understanding that these are your lessons learned. You decide when and how to share them.

Remember, you’re not defined by your past, but by who you choose to be now. No explanations needed.

Final reflection: The essence of respect

At the heart of this conversation lies a fundamental aspect of any relationship – respect.

Respect for boundaries, autonomy, and choices is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship between parents and their adult children.

The renowned psychotherapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” This holds true not just for physical hugs, but also for emotional ones – understanding, acceptance, and respect being among them.

Just as we respect our adult children’s choices, we deserve the same courtesy. It’s not about withholding information or being secretive. It’s about acknowledging that we’re all individuals with our own paths to tread.

So whether it’s your career choice, personal life, or dietary preferences – remember, you hold the reins. You don’t owe explanations.

Instead, let mutual respect and understanding guide your relationship with your adult children. After all, they’ve grown up. And so have you.