Online dating profiles are our digital first impressions.
A few well-chosen words, a handful of curated photos—and just like that, you’re supposed to decide if there’s a spark. But what if beneath that confident smile and smooth bio lurks a red flag with a selfie stick?
The truth is, narcissists are out there, scrolling and swiping just like the rest of us.
And while they might not wear a neon sign that says “It’s all about me!”, their profiles often leave little breadcrumbs of self-obsession.
Grandiose descriptions, endless bragging, or an eerie lack of genuine interest in anything but themselves—it’s all there if you know where to look.
So let’s break down the signs together. Because in the wild world of online dating, knowing how to spot a narcissist can save you time, heartache, and maybe a really bad dinner date.
1) Grandiose self-descriptions
When it comes to narcissists, it’s all about them.
They love to see themselves in the best light possible and they will go to great lengths to project this image. This is clearly visible in their online dating profiles.
According to psychologists, narcissists have a habit of describing themselves in grandiose terms.
They may use words like “exceptional”, “extraordinary” and “unique”. They may claim to lead an extravagant lifestyle or possess superior qualities that set them apart from the crowd.
And it’s not just in what they say, but how they say it. A genuine person might share their accomplishments humbly, whereas a narcissist will likely make grand statements that center around them and their greatness.
Keep an eye out for this. It’s the first sign that you might be dealing with a narcissist in your online dating journey.
2) Lack of empathy in their stories
As a psychologist, I’ve noticed a common trait among narcissists – a lack of empathy. This often shines through in the stories they share.
For instance, I once came across a profile where a man was telling a story about his previous relationship.
He talked about how it ended because “she couldn’t handle his success”. He went on to say that his ex was “jealous and insecure”, painting himself as the victim.
In this story, there was no acknowledgement of his own shortcomings or any hint of empathy towards his ex-partner.
It was all about him and how he was wronged. His lack of understanding and compassion for his ex’s feelings was a massive red flag.
So, watch out for profiles that share stories without any signs of empathy or understanding. It’s often a telltale sign of a narcissist.
3) Excessive use of ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘my’
Believe it or not, the language used in an online dating profile can be quite telling.
For instance, narcissists often use more first-person singular pronouns, like ‘I’, ‘me’, and ‘my’.
This tendency to focus on themselves often translates into their writing.
They might write extensively about their interests, achievements, and ambitions, but rarely show interest in their potential match or what they could bring to the relationship.
So, if the dating profile reads more like a self-centered monologue than an invitation for connection, you might be dealing with a narcissist.
4) Overemphasis on physical appearance
According to research, narcissists often place a high value on physical appearance.
In their online dating profiles, they might spend a significant amount of space describing their own physical attributes in detail.
You might come across phrases like “I’ve been told I’m very good-looking” or “I work out religiously to maintain my physique”.
Similarly, when describing their ideal match, they may focus heavily on physical characteristics rather than personality traits or shared interests.
This overemphasis on physical appearance is another telltale sign of a narcissist. A meaningful relationship goes beyond looks and involves a deeper connection.
5) Lack of commitment in their relationship goals
Genuine connections take time, patience, and a willingness to commit.
But for narcissists, commitment can be a tricky concept.
In their online dating profiles, they may express a desire for casual relationships or avoid mentioning long-term relationship goals altogether.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can be indicative of a narcissist’s fear of commitment.
It breaks my heart to see people invest their time and emotions in someone who isn’t ready to reciprocate. So, if you’re seeking a serious, committed relationship, be wary of profiles that seem to dodge the topic of commitment.
Everyone deserves a partner who is as invested in the relationship as they are.
6) Lack of genuine interest in you
I remember when I was newly single and decided to give online dating a try.
I connected with a man whose profile seemed interesting. He was successful and charming, but something felt off.
Our conversations were mostly about him, his accomplishments, and his life.
Anytime I shared something about myself, he would quickly steer the conversation back to him. It felt as if my interests and experiences were insignificant.
This lack of genuine interest in you is a common trait among narcissists. They’re often more interested in talking about themselves than getting to know you.
So, if your conversations feel one-sided, it might be time to reconsider.
7) Excessive name-dropping and boasting
Narcissists often have a need to feel superior and important, which can manifest in their online dating profiles through excessive name-dropping and boasting.
They might regularly mention high-status individuals they claim to know or share stories of their encounters with celebrities. They could also boast about their connections, wealth, or prestigious possessions.
While it’s natural to share achievements or exciting experiences, narcissists tend to do it in a way that feels like they’re trying to impress or establish dominance.
So, if a profile seems more like a bragging parade than an honest introduction, you might be dealing with a narcissist.
8) Absence of humility
At the end of the day, the most revealing sign of a narcissist is an absence of humility.
Psychologists claim that narcissists often struggle to admit their flaws or mistakes. In their dating profiles, they may present themselves as perfect individuals who can do no wrong.
But here’s the truth: we all have our strengths and weaknesses. We all make mistakes and have room to grow.
A lack of humility in acknowledging this is perhaps the biggest red flag when dealing with a potential narcissist.
Final thoughts
Online dating is like navigating a crowded cocktail party.
Some people are there to connect, some are there to impress, and some—well, they just want an audience.
And your time, your energy, and your heart are too valuable to waste on someone who sees you as just another mirror reflecting their greatness.
But here’s the thing: even if you do come across a few red flags, don’t let that dim your hope. Narcissists may be out there, but so are genuine connections, real conversations, and people who want to see you—not just themselves.
So trust your instincts, read between the lines, and never be afraid to swipe left on self-absorption.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve someone who doesn’t just look good on paper—they make you feel good in real life.
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