Remember the age-old saying, “Treat others the way you want to be treated”? It’s a golden rule many of us try to live by.
But what happens when you cross paths with someone who doesn’t play by the same rules?
Here’s the tricky part.
Some people have a knack for manipulating others, and they’re so good at it that you might not even realize what’s happening until it’s too late. They might say certain things that make you question your worth, leaving you feeling like a bad human being.
Ever been in a situation like this?
Well, if you’re sitting there nodding along, I’ve got some insights to share. In this article, we’ll delve into the seven things a high-level manipulator will say to make you feel less than worthy.
Understanding these tactics can help you stand your ground and protect your self-esteem in face of manipulative behavior. After all, knowledge is power.
Let’s dive in.
1) “You’re overreacting”
The classic move in a manipulator’s playbook.
Think about it. You express your concern about something they’ve done or said, and instead of addressing the issue, they make it about your reaction. It’s a quick and slick way to avoid responsibility while making you question your own feelings.
Sound familiar?
When someone tells you that you’re overreacting, it’s often an attempt to diminish your feelings and make your concerns seem trivial. It’s a form of gaslighting, leaving you feeling uncertain and even guilty for expressing your emotions.
The key takeaway?
Trust your feelings. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. So, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re overreacting for expressing your concerns.
2) “You’re too sensitive”
This one hits close to home.
I remember a time when a former friend of mine used to say this to me. Every time I’d be upset about something hurtful he’d said or done, he’d quickly dismiss my feelings with a simple, “You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase made me question my emotional responses. I started to believe that maybe I was the problem, not him.
But guess what? That’s exactly what a high-level manipulator wants.
By labeling you as “too sensitive,” they make you feel like your emotional responses are irrational or excessive. It’s another form of gaslighting that makes you doubt your own feelings and perceptions.
Your feelings are valid, and no one has the right to dismiss them. If someone repeatedly tells you that you’re too sensitive, it might be a sign of manipulation.
3) “I was just joking”
Oh, the classic “I was just joking” line.
Have you ever had someone say something mean or hurtful, and when you confront them, they brush it off as a joke? It’s a clever way to avoid accountability while also poking at your self-esteem. And that’s a sign of manipulation.
The team at the MEND Project calls it “weaponized joking”. It’s not about humour – it’s about power and control. They get to say whatever they want, and if you react, they make you feel like you just can’t take a joke.
Stay vigilant. Such comments are not jokes, but disguised insults. Don’t let anyone use humor as an excuse to disrespect you.
4) “You’re just jealous”
This phrase is a manipulator’s way of shifting the spotlight from their actions onto your feelings. Instead of addressing your concerns, they accuse you of being jealous, effectively turning the tables.
Here’s what’s really going on.
By accusing you of jealousy, they’re trying to make you feel insecure and guilty. They deflect your legitimate concerns and make them about your supposed shortcomings.
It’s a diversion tactic to avoid accountability and keep you on the defensive.
If someone brushes off your concerns by accusing you of jealousy, it’s likely a manipulation tactic. Your feelings are valid, and a true friend would address them respectfully rather than resorting to accusations.
5) “You always make everything about you”
Ever heard this one before?
They twist your words, making you feel selfish for expressing your feelings or standing up for yourself. It’s a manipulator’s way of making you feel guilty and turning the attention away from their actions.
According to psychologists, this tactic is known as projection. It’s when a manipulator projects their own negative traits or behaviors onto you, and in the process, makes you seem like a bad human being.
So, when they say, “You always make everything about you,” what they’re really doing is deflecting their own self-centered behavior onto you.
6) “No one else thinks that”
This phrase can feel particularly isolating. Manipulators often use this line to make you feel alone in your thoughts and feelings.
By suggesting that no one else shares your perspective, they’re attempting to invalidate your experiences and make you feel out of touch.
The thing is, we all have unique experiences and perspectives, and that’s what makes us human. Just because someone else might not see things the way you do, doesn’t mean your feelings or perceptions are invalid.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, like they want to make it seem.
So, if someone uses this line on you, remember—you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, and there are people out there who will understand and empathize with you. Don’t let a manipulator convince you otherwise.
7) “If you really cared about me, you would…”
This might be the most dangerous manipulation tactic of all.
When someone says, “If you really cared about me, you would…” they’re trying to control your actions through guilt.
They’re essentially saying that your love or care for them depends on whether or not you do what they want. And if you don’t…well, that means you’re a bad person.
It’s emotional blackmail, plan and simple.
Here’s the most important thing to remember.
True care and affection are not conditional. You shouldn’t have to prove your feelings for someone by bending to their every whim.
If someone is frequently using this phrase to manipulate your actions, it’s a clear sign of emotional manipulation. Stand firm in your boundaries and remember that love is about respect, not control.
Final thoughts
As you can see, manipulators are skilled at using words to twist your emotions and make you question your worth.
Recognizing the phrases they use and the tactics behind them is key to protecting your self-esteem and mental well-being.
The most important thing to remember is that their words are a reflection of their intentions, not your character.
By staying aware and confident in your own values, you can resist their attempts to make you feel like a bad person and maintain control over your own emotions.
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