We know that relationships should bring us joy, support, and fulfillment—but what if yours is doing the opposite?
What if the person you’re with is unknowingly (or even knowingly) contributing to your stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion?
It’s easy to overlook the signs, especially when you’re in the thick of it. You might convince yourself that things will get better, or that it’s just a phase, but deep down, you feel drained and overwhelmed.
If you’re wondering whether your relationship is adding more weight to your shoulders than it should, this article is for you. We’ll explore 8 subtle signs that your relationship may actually be a major source of stress in your life.
Identifying with these signs doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It just means it’s time to address the issues and work towards a healthier partnership.
1) You’re constantly second-guessing yourself
Ever find yourself questioning your every move? Or wondering if you’re being too sensitive or overreacting?
If your relationship is causing you to doubt your judgment, that’s a clear sign of stress.
It’s natural to question ourselves occasionally, but when it’s a recurring theme, it might be time to take a step back and assess the situation.
A healthy relationship should boost your confidence, not undermine it.
Everyone has a right to their feelings and opinions. If you’re constantly feeling unsure or invalidated, it might be an indication that your relationship is causing more stress than you realize.
2) You’ve lost your sense of joy
The joyful moments in life are what make it worth living. But when you’re in a relationship that’s causing you stress, you might find that your usual sources of happiness aren’t as fulfilling as they used to be.
I remember a time in my life when I hardly recognized the woman staring back at me in the mirror.
I was in a relationship that drained me emotionally, and it felt like I had lost my spark.
I used to love certain activities—going out with friends, exploring new hobbies, and just having fun—but suddenly, nothing seemed enjoyable anymore.
When your relationship becomes a constant source of stress, it can begin to overshadow all the good things in life, leaving you feeling numb or disconnected.
The weight of emotional exhaustion from a relationship can make it hard to appreciate the small joys that once gave you energy.
3) Your health is taking a hit
Believe it or not, your relationship can affect your physical health.
If you’ve been experiencing headaches, stomach problems, or having trouble sleeping, it might be an indication that your relationship is stressing you out.
During a particularly challenging relationship in my life, I was constantly feeling under the weather.
It wasn’t until I stepped back and looked at the situation that I realized my relationship was the root cause of my health issues.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into how stress from a relationship can manifest physically and what you can do about it.
Our bodies are incredibly connected to our emotions, and unresolved stress in a relationship can begin to show up physically.
It’s important to listen to your body—if you’re feeling unwell, it might be more than just a physical illness; it could be a signal from your body that something in your relationship is out of balance.
4) You’re more productive when you’re apart
This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes being too comfortable in a relationship can actually hinder your personal growth and productivity.
If you notice that you are more focused, energetic, and productive when your partner is not around, it may indicate that your relationship is a source of stress.
It’s not to say that you should be better off alone, but rather that the dynamics of your relationship might be affecting your ability to thrive.
In a healthy relationship, your partner should be a source of motivation and support, not a hindrance to your personal growth. It’s important for both partners to feel like they can flourish both individually and together.
5) You’re avoiding time together
When you’re in love, spending time together should be one of the things you look forward to. But if you find yourself constantly making excuses to avoid being with your partner, that’s a signal something might be off.
I remember a time when I would plan my day around moments I could steal away from my then-partner. It was a red flag I chose to ignore for too long.
It’s natural to need personal space sometimes, but consistently dodging your partner could indicate that your relationship is adding stress to your life. And that’s something worth addressing.
6) Your future together seems blurry
Let’s get real for a moment. If the thought of your future with your partner fills you with more dread than excitement, it’s a sign that your relationship might be causing you stress.
It’s not about having a detailed five-year plan or knowing exactly where you’re headed. But there should be a sense of comfort in envisioning a future with your partner.
If instead, you find yourself shying away from the thought or feeling anxious about what lies ahead, it’s a sign something isn’t quite right.
It can be a difficult truth to face, but it’s an important one in understanding the stress your relationship may be causing you.
7) You’re living in the past
When the good times in your relationship seem like a distant memory, it could be a sign of stress.
If you’re constantly reminiscing about the past and barely enjoying the present, it’s time to take a closer look at your relationship.
I’ve been there myself, holding onto a relationship because of the beautiful memories we had created. But I learned that living in the past wasn’t healthy for me or my partner.
So take a moment to reflect on whether your relationship is serving your present and future self or just reminding you of the good old days.
8) You’re constantly on edge
Finally, and perhaps most telling, if you’re always on edge around your partner, it’s a glaring sign that your relationship is a major stressor.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner should be a source of comfort and relief, not anxiety and apprehension.
If you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, fearing what might trigger the next argument or upset, it’s time to face the reality of your situation.
It’s a harsh truth to confront, but recognizing it can be the first step towards healing and seeking the peace and happiness you deserve.
Conclusion
Nobody said love was easy, but it shouldn’t be a constant source of stress either. If you’ve recognized some of these signs in your relationship, take it as an opportunity for growth and change.
Remember, it’s okay to seek help and reach out when things get tough.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I provide tools and insights to help navigate these challenging times.
Your happiness matters, so don’t settle for a stressful relationship!
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