9 subtle signs of poor character in a man, according to psychology

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” but when it comes to character, it’s what’s beneath the surface that truly counts.

The tricky part? Poor character doesn’t always come with flashing red lights or dramatic warning signs.

In fact, it’s often wrapped up in subtle behaviors that can be easy to miss—until it’s too late.

If you’ve ever had that gut feeling that something was off but couldn’t quite put your finger on it, you’re not alone.

Spotting poor character, especially in men who seem charming or put-together, can be a challenge.

But don’t worry—I’ve got you covered.

Let’s talk about the nine subtle signs that could reveal a lot more about a man’s character than he might be letting on.

1) They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

When someone lacks empathy, it’s like they’re missing a crucial piece of the human puzzle.

This isn’t always glaringly obvious. You might first notice it during a conversation – they may fail to show genuine interest or understanding in your experiences or emotions.

Over time, you may find that they often dismiss your feelings, or belittle your concerns. They might brush off your successes, or fail to comfort you in times of distress.

On the surface, they may seem charming or confident. But beneath that exterior, there’s a lack of genuine emotional connection and understanding.

A man who repeatedly shows an inability to empathize can leave you feeling unheard and insignificant.

2) They’re consistently dishonest

Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship, be it personal or professional.

However, a man with poor character might consistently engage in dishonest behavior.

This dishonesty could be subtle and not immediately obvious. Maybe they tell small white lies that seem harmless at first. Or perhaps they exaggerate their achievements or experiences to appear more impressive or interesting.

But over time, these fabrications can accumulate and create a web of deceit that’s hard to untangle.

You might find yourself questioning their words and doubting their integrity.

Frequent lying is a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where a person causes others to question their reality.

3) They’re overly charming

We often associate charm with good character. But sometimes, an excess of charm can be a red flag.

A man who’s excessively charming can be enchanting at first. They know exactly what to say and how to say it to make you feel special and appreciated.

However, this charm can sometimes serve as a mask to hide the real person underneath.

It can be used as a tool of manipulation, to distract you from their true intentions or actions.

As time goes on, you might notice that their charm feels calculated or insincere.

It may only surface when they want something or when they need to smooth over a mistake they’ve made.

An overly charming man isn’t necessarily a man of poor character, but it’s essential to be aware of the potential for manipulation hidden beneath the surface charm.

4) They struggle to apologize

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes.

What separates a man of good character from one of poor character is the ability to acknowledge those mistakes and apologize sincerely.

A man with poor character often struggles to say “I’m sorry.” They might:

  • Dance around the issue
  • Make excuses
  • Shift the blame onto you

When they do apologize, it might sound insincere or forced.

The words might be there, but the meaning behind them is lacking. It’s as if the apology is just a formality, something they feel they need to say rather than something they genuinely feel.

5) They lack respect for boundaries

We all have boundaries – those invisible lines that define our personal space and comfort zone.

They’re essential for maintaining our mental and emotional well-being.

However, a man of poor character may not respect these boundaries.

This disregard could be subtle, like insisting on spending every moment together or constantly checking up on you, even when you’ve expressed your need for space.

They might make decisions on your behalf without consulting you first or dismiss your feelings when you express discomfort about a particular situation.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay and healthy to have personal boundaries.

6) They’re always the victim

We all have our share of bad days and unfortunate circumstances.

However, a man with poor character has a tendency to always paint themselves as the victim, regardless of the situation.

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They might constantly blame others for their failures or misfortunes, never taking accountability for their own actions or choices. Or perhaps they always have a sob story ready to garner sympathy and attention.

While it’s entirely human to fall on hard times and seek support from others, constant victim-playing is a sign of poor character and emotional manipulation.

7) They’re inconsistent

Life is full of surprises and changes, and that’s part of what makes it exciting!

However, when it comes to a man’s character, inconsistency can be a subtle sign of trouble.

One day, they might be the most attentive and loving partner, and the next, they’re distant and aloof. They might promise to do something one moment, then forget or dismiss it the next.

This rollercoaster of inconsistency can leave you feeling confused and emotionally unstable.

8) They’re self-centered

We all love a bit of attention and care, but there’s a line between healthy self-esteem and outright narcissism.

A man with poor character often sits comfortably on the wrong side of this line.

They might dominate conversations, turning every topic back to themselves. Their needs, desires, and opinions always seem to take precedence over yours.

While it’s important to celebrate one’s achievements and express one’s feelings, a man who consistently places himself at the center of everything shows a lack of consideration for others.

9) They lack genuine kindness

At the end of the day, one of the most telling signs of character – be it good or poor – is how a person treats others, especially when they have nothing to gain.

A man with a poor character often lacks genuine kindness.

They might be nice to you and others when convenient or beneficial for them. But when there’s nothing to gain, their true colors may show.

In addition, they might:

  • Dismiss the waiter at a restaurant
  • Ignore a homeless person on the street
  • Speak ill of others behind their back

Kindness is not just about grand gestures; it’s also about small acts of consideration and respect for all human beings.

Wrapping it up

In wrapping up our exploration of the nine subtle signs of poor character in a man, remember that awareness is your best ally in the journey of understanding the true character of someone.

These signs might be easy to overlook, especially when charm and charisma are in full swing, but they can offer crucial insights into a person’s true nature.

Trusting your instincts and recognizing these behaviors can help you create healthier boundaries and foster deeper connections with those who genuinely deserve your time.

As you move forward, keep your eyes open and your heart guarded, but don’t forget to celebrate the positive traits that make people truly admirable.

With this newfound knowledge, you’re now equipped to discern character with a sharper lens—so go forth confidently and choose the people around you wisely!

Picture of Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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