There’s a significant difference between appearing kind and being genuinely kind.
As Hack Spirit founder and mindfulness enthusiast, Lachlan Brown, I’ve discovered that the key lies in subtle body language cues.
Appearing kind often involves overt actions designed to be noticed. Genuine kindness, however, is more about the little things – subtle signals that speak volumes about a person’s intentions and character.
According to psychology, there are specific body language signs that indicate genuine kindness. And I’m here to share with you what those 8 subtle signs are.
Interested in learning how to spot the real deal? Let’s dive right in.
1) Open body posture
Genuine kindness isn’t something that can be easily faked, especially when it comes to body language.
As a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve observed that truly kind people tend to have an open body posture. This is their way of welcoming others into their space and showing that they aren’t a threat.
Think about it. Who would you rather approach, someone with their arms crossed and body closed off, or someone with open arms and an inviting aura?
An open body posture is not just about the position of the limbs; it’s a reflection of an open mind and heart. It’s a subtle, non-verbal sign that says, “I’m here for you, I’m listening.”
Genuine kindness is empathetic and inviting. So next time you interact with someone, pay attention to their body language. An open posture could be a sign of genuine kindness.
2) Warm and genuine smiles
One thing I’ve noticed in my journey as the founder of Hack Spirit is the power of a genuine smile.
Kindness often shines through a person’s smile. It’s not about the perfect set of teeth or a picture-perfect grin – it’s about the warmth that radiates from them when they smile.
I remember once, during a particularly tough time, I had a chance encounter with a stranger. Nothing was going right, and I was feeling pretty low. This person, whom I’d never met before, looked me in the eye and gave me the warmest, most genuine smile. It felt like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.
That single gesture, that genuine smile, made me feel seen and acknowledged. It had such a profound impact on me that it shifted my mood entirely.
As Dr. David Matsumoto, professor of psychology at San Francisco State University reminds us, “Smiles are probably the most underrated facial expressions, much more complicated than most people realize. There are many kinds of smiles – and they can mean very different things.”
So, watch out for those warm, genuine smiles – they’re often a sign of truly kind individuals.
3) Active listening
Active listening is a powerful tool that genuinely kind people often use to connect with others. It’s more than just hearing what the other person is saying; it’s about fully understanding and empathizing with them.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I explore the concept of active listening in depth. I delve into how this practice, rooted in Buddhist philosophy, can bring a profound sense of connection and understanding.
From personal experience, I’ve noticed that kind individuals tend to show active listening cues – they maintain eye contact, nod in agreement, and respond appropriately to what you’re saying. These subtle signs show that they’re fully invested in the conversation and value your thoughts and feelings.
So if you notice someone actively listening to you, it could be a sign that they are genuinely kind.
4) Mirroring behavior
Mirroring behavior is a subtle, yet powerful sign of empathy and kindness. It’s a psychological phenomenon where one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another.
According to psychology, mirroring is a way of bonding and creating rapport with another person. When someone mirrors your behavior, it shows that they’re in tune with your feelings and are trying to understand your perspective.
Genuinely kind people often mirror others’ behaviors as a way of showing empathy. If you notice that someone is subtly mimicking your gestures or speech patterns, it could indicate that they’re trying to connect with you on a deeper level.
Renowned psychologist Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence”, points out that, “Empathy represents the foundation skill for all the social competencies important for work.” Genuine kindness and empathy go hand in hand, and mirroring is a silent testament to this connection.
5) Comfortable with silence
Here’s a counter-intuitive one: genuinely kind people are often comfortable with silence.
In a world that’s constantly buzzing with noise and chatter, silence can be unsettling for many. But for truly kind individuals, silence isn’t something to be feared or filled; it’s something to be embraced.
Psychology suggests that comfort with silence often stems from a place of self-assuredness and emotional maturity. Kind people understand that not every moment needs to be filled with words. Sometimes, the most powerful connections are formed in silence.
The acclaimed psychologist, Sigmund Freud, once said, “Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.” But sometimes, the lack of words – silence – can hold just as much power.
So next time you’re with someone who seems comfortable with moments of silence, don’t hurry to fill the void. It may just be a sign of their genuine kindness.
6) Consistent eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. It’s a fundamental aspect of human interaction that is often overlooked.
Genuinely kind people understand the importance of maintaining eye contact. It’s their way of showing respect, attentiveness, and interest in what the other person is saying.
Psychology suggests that consistent eye contact can create a deep sense of connection between individuals. It conveys a level of trust and openness that words often fail to capture.
However, it’s important to note that eye contact should be natural and comfortable—not intense or overbearing.
American psychologist and author, Daniel Goleman once said, “In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.” Eye contact is a clear demonstration of the mind that feels, a silent indicator of genuine kindness.
7) Subtle touch
A subtle touch can speak volumes about a person’s intentions. Whether it’s a light pat on the back, a comforting hand on the shoulder, or a warm handshake, these small gestures can be powerful indicators of genuine kindness.
In moments of stress or discomfort, a kind touch from someone has an uncanny ability to soothe and reassure. It’s a silent way of saying, “I’m here for you.”
On the other hand, in moments of joy and celebration, a congratulatory pat or high-five can amplify the positive feelings. It’s like a non-verbal cheer saying, “I’m happy for you.”
So, if you notice someone using touch appropriately and respectfully to connect with others, it might be a sign of their genuine kindness.
As the famous psychologist Virginia Satir once said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While not all of us may be huggers, the sentiment stands – touch is powerful.
8) Leaning in
Another subtle sign of genuine kindness to look out for is whether a person leans in during conversations. This simple body language cue can signal interest, attentiveness, and empathy.
When someone leans in while you’re speaking, it shows that they’re genuinely interested in what you have to say. It’s their way of signaling that they value your words and want to fully understand your viewpoint.
On the other hand, leaning back or away might indicate disinterest or discomfort. While this isn’t always the case, it’s worth paying attention to in different contexts.
Remember, these are subtle signs and should be considered along with other indicators for a more accurate understanding.
In conclusion: The power of non-verbal communication
Interpreting human behavior can be complex, especially when it comes to distinguishing genuine kindness. However, paying attention to these subtle body language signs can provide an insightful window into a person’s character.
Remember, kindness isn’t always about grand gestures or eloquent words. Often, it’s reflected in the small, subtle cues that we might overlook in our daily interactions.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into the nuances of human behavior and how mindfulness can help us understand and connect better with others.
As you navigate your interactions, be mindful of these body language signs. Whether it’s consistent eye contact, an open body posture, or a warm, genuine smile, these are all indicators of a kind heart.
Ultimately, understanding these signals not only helps us recognize genuine kindness in others but also encourages us to embody these traits ourselves.
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