As the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve spent a great deal of time studying human behavior.
One thing that’s always fascinated me is how some people just seem to exude coolness and composure, no matter what life throws at them.
These people aren’t necessarily born with this trait. Instead, it’s a subtle blend of behaviors and attitudes they’ve developed over time.
So if you’ve ever wondered why some people can remain calm in a crisis while others panic, this article is for you.
1) They practice mindfulness
One behavior that stands out among naturally cool and composed individuals is their commitment to practicing mindfulness.
Now, you might think mindfulness is just a buzzword, but it’s actually a powerful psychological tool.
It’s all about staying present in the moment, being aware of your surroundings, and not letting your mind wander to worries or distractions.
This behavior is crucial because it helps them respond rather than react to situations. It’s like they have a buffer zone that allows them to process information calmly and make rational decisions.
Mindfulness also helps them to keep their emotions in check, preventing them from being swept away by stress or fear.
It’s a secret weapon for maintaining composure in even the most challenging situations.
In the words of psychologist Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.”
This friendly relationship with our own experiences is what allows cool and composed people to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace.
2) They don’t sweat the small stuff
As psychologist Carl Jung once said, you are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become.
Cool and composed people embody this principle by choosing not to let minor setbacks define them or dictate their emotional state.
They don’t get rattled by minor inconveniences or setbacks.
To illustrate, let’s use a personal example. A while back, I was traveling with a friend who epitomizes coolness and composure.
Our flight was delayed due to weather conditions, which meant we were likely to miss our connecting flight.
While I was fretting over the potential domino effect of delays, cancellations, and rescheduling, my friend remained unfazed.
He simply said, “We can’t control the weather. Let’s grab some coffee and figure out our next steps.”
Seeing him so calm helped me realize that sometimes, things just don’t go as planned.
Cool and composed people understand this and choose not to waste energy on things beyond their control. Instead, they focus on what they can do in the present moment.
3) They cultivate empathy
One of the most profound behaviors of cool and composed people is their ability to cultivate empathy. They have a deep understanding of human emotions and can readily put themselves in other people’s shoes.
This allows them not only to understand why people behave the way they do, but also to respond with compassion and kindness, even in difficult situations.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I explore the importance of empathy as a tool for building stronger connections and maintaining inner peace.
I believe that this ability to empathize is a cornerstone of being cool and composed. It helps to diffuse tension, build trust, and foster mutual respect.
This not only improves our relationships with others, but also helps us maintain our own calmness and composure.
4) They practice emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a defining characteristic of people who are naturally cool and composed.
It’s the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
In psychology, emotional intelligence is broken down into five main elements: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Cool and composed people tend to score highly in all these areas.
For example, their self-awareness allows them to recognize when they are becoming stressed or upset.
They can then use self-regulation techniques to calm themselves down and prevent an emotional response.
Their motivation keeps them focused and moving forward in challenging situations. Their empathy helps them to understand others’ perspectives and respond appropriately.
And finally, their strong social skills enable them to navigate complex social situations with grace and composure.
5) They aren’t afraid to show vulnerability
As renowned psychologist Brené Brown puts it, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
This might seem counter-intuitive, but cool and composed individuals are often those who aren’t afraid to show their vulnerability.
It’s a misconception that being composed means being emotionally invincible or unaffected.
In fact, the ability to acknowledge and express feelings of uncertainty or fear is a sign of emotional strength. It shows self-awareness and authenticity, which are key components of composure.
When we embrace vulnerability, we stop worrying about appearing perfect or always having the right answer. This reduces stress and allows us to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations.
6) They are comfortable with silence
Another subtle behavior of naturally cool and composed people is their comfort with silence.
They don’t feel the need to fill every moment with words or actions. Instead, they understand the value of quiet reflection and listening.
This comfort with silence allows them to process information, think before they speak, and fully absorb what others are saying.
It also shows respect for others, as it indicates a willingness to give them space to express themselves.
Becoming comfortable with silence is a skill that can be developed over time. It involves being present, patient, and at ease with your own thoughts.
7) They take care of their physical health
One behavior that often goes unnoticed is the attention cool and composed people pay to their physical health. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep aren’t just good for the body; they’re also crucial for mental well-being.
When you’re physically active, your body releases endorphins – known as “feel-good” hormones – which help to reduce stress and anxiety.
A well-nourished body supports brain function, improving focus and decision-making. And a good night’s sleep refreshes the mind, enhancing emotional stability and resilience.
A few years back, despite being fairly fit, I was feeling stressed and low on energy.
I realized that I was neglecting my diet and not getting enough restful sleep.
After making some lifestyle changes, such as incorporating more fruits and vegetables into my diet and prioritizing sleep, I noticed a significant improvement in my ability to stay calm and composed in stressful situations.
8) They practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude is another subtle behavior of naturally cool and composed people.
This isn’t just about saying “thank you.” It’s about consistently acknowledging the good in their lives, even when things aren’t going perfectly.
By focusing on what they’re grateful for, they shift their perspective away from negativity and stress. This helps them maintain a positive outlook, even in the face of adversity.
They might keep a gratitude journal or take a few moments each day to reflect on what they appreciate. This practice has been shown to improve mental well-being, reduce stress, and promote feelings of calm and contentment.
Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier.
Embracing gratitude can help us remain cool and composed, no matter what life throws our way.
Final thoughts
As we’ve discussed, practicing mindfulness, embracing vulnerability, and cultivating empathy are just a few of the behaviors that can contribute to a cool and composed demeanor.
However, these are just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other behaviors and strategies that can help you develop this trait.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I dive deeper into these behaviors and provide practical tips on how to incorporate them into your daily life.
Becoming cool and composed isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about enhancing your emotional intelligence, honing your social skills, and developing a deep sense of self-awareness.
These skills can help you navigate life with greater ease and resilience.
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