There was a time in my life when I thought I could simply ignore my problems and they’d eventually go away.
I’d avoid difficult conversations, put off tough decisions, and hope that time would somehow take care of things.
But over time, I began to realize that avoiding my problems only made them grow bigger, affecting my mental health, relationships, and overall happiness.
It wasn’t until I understood how this avoidance was hurting me that I started to break free from this cycle.
In this article, we’ll dive into 7 unconscious behaviors that signal you’re avoiding the challenges in your life, and why facing them head-on is the key to unlocking a healthier, more fulfilling future.
1) Procrastination
The first sign that you may be unconsciously running away from your problems is procrastination.
You know you’re doing it when there’s a task at hand, and rather than tackling it head-on, you find a thousand other less significant things to do.
Sound familiar?
As a psychology enthusiast, I learned that procrastination is not just about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s often a sign of avoidance, a subconscious attempt to escape from something that makes us uncomfortable or anxious.
Think about it. When was the last time you put off dealing with a difficult conversation, starting that daunting project, or making that important decision?
For me, understanding this was a game-changer. I realized that by delaying action, I was not only adding to my stress but also depriving myself of the opportunity to resolve my issues and move forward.
So next time you find yourself putting things off, take a moment to ask yourself: What am I avoiding?
This simple reflection could be your first step towards facing your problems instead of running away from them.
2) Denial
The second sign you might be unconsciously evading your problems is denial.
I’m no stranger to this myself. I once had a falling out with a close friend, and instead of acknowledging the pain and addressing the issue, I convinced myself that everything was fine.
I told myself, “We just need some time apart. It’s not a big deal.” But deep down, I was hurting.
However, by denying the issue, I wasn’t eliminating the problem. I was only giving it more power over me. It persisted in my mind, causing stress and anxiety.
Denial is a common psychological defense mechanism. We use it to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths. But as I learned from my own experience, it only prolongs the pain.
3) Escapism
I used to be a master at escapism. Whenever I was faced with a challenging situation, I’d lose myself in countless hours of video games or binge-watching TV shows.
It felt like an easy way out, a temporary relief from the reality that was too hard to face. But as time went by, my problems didn’t disappear; they only seemed to grow bigger.
Escapism comes in many forms:
- Excessive entertainment
- Overeating
- Excessive partying
- Sleeping too much
They provide momentary pleasure, but they’re just band-aids that don’t address the root cause of our discomfort.
If you find yourself resorting to excessive escapism, it might be a sign that you’re avoiding a problem that needs your attention.
Recognizing this habit was a significant first step for me, and it could be for you too. Acknowledge it, then take active steps towards addressing the issues you’re trying to escape from.
4) Difficulty in expressing emotions
I used to bottle up my feelings, thinking that it was the ‘strong’ thing to do. I would put on a brave face and pretend that everything was okay, even when it wasn’t.
But studies have found that suppressing emotions can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. In fact, individuals who avoid acknowledging their emotional pain may actually prolong their responses to distressing situations.
When I read about this study, it hit me like a ton of bricks. By suppressing my emotions, I was not only avoiding my problems, but I was also adding to my mental and emotional strain.
If you are someone who finds it difficult to express your feelings, this could be a sign of avoidance.
It’s okay to feel what you feel, and expressing your emotions is a healthy step towards addressing your problems.
5) Over-planning
The fifth sign that you could be unconsciously running away from your problems is over-planning.
I was once guilty of this. I’d spend hours creating detailed to-do lists, organizing my calendar, or planning my future.
While these tasks felt productive, I was using them as a distraction from the real issues at hand.
Over-planning is a form of control. It tricks us into thinking we have everything under control when in reality we’re just skirting around the problems that need our attention.
Don’t get me wrong, planning is crucial. But when it becomes a means to ignore the elephant in the room, it’s a sign of avoidance.
Next time you find yourself drowning in planning, take a step back and ask yourself: Am I using this as a way to avoid dealing with something?
6) Excessive worrying
I remember a time when I would spend countless hours worrying about things that hadn’t even happened. I was constantly stressed, anxious, and on edge.
Then I came across a quote that said, “Worrying is a waste of imagination.” This quote resonated with me deeply.
Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere. It’s often a sign that we’re avoiding dealing with issues in the present by projecting them into the future.
If you find yourself consumed with worry, take a moment to reflect: Are you using your imagination to create problems rather than solve them?
7) Perfectionism
The seventh and final sign that you might be unconsciously running away from your problems is perfectionism. Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
I used to pride myself on being a perfectionist. I thought it was a sign of my dedication and commitment to doing things right. But over time, I realized that my quest for perfection was actually a way of avoiding failure and criticism.
Perfectionism can be paralyzing. It can prevent us from taking action because we’re afraid of not meeting the high standards we set for ourselves.
In truth, it’s just another form of avoidance.
If you find yourself caught in the trap of perfectionism, here’s a practical tip: Start practicing the “good enough” principle.
Instead of aiming for perfect, aim for done. You’ll be surprised at how liberating it feels to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on progress instead of perfection.
Conclusion
It’s never easy, but the rewards—clarity, growth, and a deeper sense of peace—are well worth the effort.
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