It’s a funny thing, our relationship with failure. Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy, setting ourselves up to fail without even knowing it.
The tricky part is, often this self-sabotage happens subconsciously. It’s not like we wake up in the morning planning to ruin our own day.
The reality is that some habits or behaviors quietly push us towards failure instead of success. And the first step to changing these habits is recognizing them.
In this article, I’ll share 7 signs you have a tendency to set yourself up for failure – all with the aim of helping you avoid these common pitfalls and set yourself up for success instead.
1) You procrastinate
If there’s one surefire self-sabotage technique, it’s procrastination.
We’ve all been there, pushing tasks to the back-burner, promising ourselves we’ll tackle them “later”. But when “later” rolls around, we often find yet another excuse to postpone.
The problem with procrastination is that it leads us into a cycle of delay and guilt. The more we put off tasks, the more stress and anxiety we pile on ourselves.
And obviously, that’s not really conducive to success.
Recognizing this tendency to delay can be a big step toward breaking the cycle. Once you’re aware of it, you can begin to implement strategies to manage your time better and stop setting yourself up for failure.
So, if you find yourself constantly putting things off, take note. You might just be your own biggest hurdle on the path to success.
2) You’re always playing it safe
I’ve noticed something about myself – I tend to play it safe. A lot.
For example, a few years ago I was offered an opportunity to lead a new project at work. It was a big deal, something that could really propel my career forward. But, it also came with a significant amount of risk and stress.
I remember feeling overwhelmed by the mere thought of it. What if I failed? What if I couldn’t meet the expectations? The fear of failing was so strong that I declined the offer, choosing instead to stick with what I knew and felt comfortable with.
Looking back now, I realize that I potentially missed out on a great opportunity for growth and learning.
Playing it safe can sometimes feel like the right move, but it could also be a sign that you’re subconsciously setting yourself up for failure. By avoiding risks and challenges, you’re also avoiding opportunities for growth and success.
So next time you find yourself shying away from a risk, ask yourself: am I really protecting myself or am I unknowingly setting myself up for failure?
3) Perfectionism is your mantra
Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword.
On one hand, striving for the best can push you to excel and surpass your own expectations.
On the other hand, when taken to an extreme, perfectionism can set you up for failure.
Research shows that perfectionists are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation.
This is because they put an unhealthy amount of pressure on themselves to meet unrealistic standards, often leading to stress and burnout.
It’s important to strive for excellence, but not at the expense of your mental health. If you find yourself stressing over every small detail or feeling defeated when things aren’t perfect, you might be setting yourself up for failure without even realizing it.
So cut yourself some slack. Remember that no one is perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes. They’re just opportunities for growth and learning.
4) You’re constantly comparing yourself to others
In our social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. We see the highlight reels of other people’s lives and measure them against our own, often feeling like we fall short.
The problem with this is that it creates unrealistic expectations and can lead to feelings of inadequacy, both of which set you up for failure. When we compare, we’re not focusing on our own journey or celebrating our own successes. Instead, we’re too busy trying to replicate someone else’s.
What’s more, as author and leadership expert Mike Robbins explains, “The trap of comparison is that we’re stuck in a negative loop if we feel less than someone else or even better than another person.”
The truth is, everyone’s journey is unique and everyone has their own set of challenges and victories. Try instead to focus on your own progress and celebrate your own achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
5) You dwell on past failures
Do you find yourself replaying old mistakes over and over, wishing you could go back and change things?
Dwelling on past failures can feel like carrying a heavy weight that never lets you move forward. It’s one of the biggest barriers to fully embracing your individuality.
When you constantly focus on what went wrong, you’re letting those moments define you.
Instead of seeing failures as lessons or stepping stones, you allow them to shape your self-perception in negative ways.
This can make you hesitant to take risks or try new things, keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.
But here’s the truth: everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes don’t make you any less valuable or unique.
Letting go of the past doesn’t mean forgetting—it means forgiving yourself and focusing on what’s ahead. When you stop dwelling on failures, you free yourself to embrace the person you are now and all the potential you have to grow into someone even better.
6) You’re not setting clear goals
Study after study has shown that setting clear, achievable goals is key to success. Without them, you’re like a ship without a compass, just drifting aimlessly.
Not having clear goals can lead to a lack of direction and motivation. You might find yourself bouncing from one task to another, never really feeling satisfied or accomplished because you’re not working towards something specific.
On the other hand, when you have clear goals, you have something to strive for. You have a reason to push yourself and stay motivated.
If you find that you’re frequently feeling lost or unmotivated, it might be a sign that you’re not setting clear goals for yourself. Take some time to identify what you want to achieve and create a plan to get there.
As the saying goes, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.”
7) You’re neglecting self-care
Lastly, one of the most critical aspects of success is taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally. If you neglect this, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
When you fail to prioritize self-care, you’re likely to burn out and lose motivation. You can’t perform at your best if you’re constantly feeling tired, stressed, or unwell. It really is that simple.
Remember, success isn’t just about achieving goals or winning accolades. It’s also about maintaining a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
So make sure to take time for yourself, do things you love, stay active, eat healthily and get enough sleep.
Wrapping it up: It’s all about self-awareness
Setting yourself up for success starts with self-awareness. By recognizing the habits and patterns that might be holding you back, you can make small but meaningful changes to move forward.
It’s not about fixing everything overnight—it’s about learning, growing, and giving yourself a fair shot at achieving your goals.
Remember, progress comes from understanding where you are and taking intentional steps toward where you want to be.
With a little patience and focus, you can break the cycle and start building a path to success.
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