If there’s a knot in your stomach, chances are something’s amiss; if you’re constantly on edge, perhaps someone’s ruffling your feathers.
Sometimes, the people around us can subtly contribute to feelings of anxiety without us fully realizing it.
Their behaviors, words, and attitudes can erode our peace of mind, making us feel more anxious or uneasy.
If you’re wondering whether someone in your life is influencing your anxiety, here are eight signs to watch out for:
1) Subtle shifts in mood
Emotions are a wild ride, aren’t they? They sneak up on you, often leaving you confused and overwhelmed.
However, when you’re already an anxious person, these emotional roller coasters can feel more like a terrifying free-fall—especially when the root cause is someone else’s influence over your state of mind.
It can be as slight as a change in their tone or a shift in their body language that sets off your alarm bells.
Suddenly, your thoughts are spiraling and your heart’s racing as if you’re facing an actual threat.
This constant state of high alert is exhausting, isn’t it?
But here’s the catch: Sometimes, you might not even realize that it’s the people around you who are inadvertently causing this anxiety so you’re just left wondering why you’re feeling off-kilter.
2) The constant need for reassurance
Have you ever found yourself seeking validation from someone, over and over again, to the point where it feels like an unhealthy obsession? I know I have!
I remember a time when a close friend of mine always seemed doubtful of my capabilities: No matter what I did, it felt like it wasn’t enough for them.
I found myself constantly seeking their approval, trying to prove my worth.
This constant need for affirmation turned into a breeding ground for anxiety so every action, every decision was followed by a gnawing doubt—”Would they approve? Would they think less of me?”
I was trapped in this cycle of self-doubt and anxiety, all because I let someone else’s opinion hold too much power over me.
So, take a step back and evaluate—you’re worth more than someone else’s opinion of you.
3) Undermining your confidence
Confidence is a delicate thing. It takes years to build up, but only moments to tear down.
Did you know that our brain is wired in a way that negative interactions have a more significant impact than positive ones?
This is referred to as ‘negativity bias.’, and it’s an evolutionary trait that helped our ancestors survive by making them more alert to potential dangers.
Now, imagine having someone in your life who always undermines your confidence, picks at your insecurities, or makes you question your self-worth.
A negative influence as such can intensify your anxiety levels, causing you to second-guess yourself constantly.
Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries for your mental well-being.
4) Absence of respect for boundaries
Personal boundaries are like invisible lines we draw around ourselves—they define the limits of our comfort zone.
But what happens when someone constantly crosses these lines?
It’s like a subtle invasion of your personal space, isn’t it?
When someone in your life disregards your boundaries, it can make you feel disrespected and violated, and it can lead to a state of constant unease and heightened anxiety, waiting for the next intrusion.
It’s important to keep in mind that respect for personal boundaries is a two-way street and essential for healthy relationships.
5) Unpredictable behavior
Isn’t it unnerving when someone’s behavior is as unpredictable as the weather?
I’ve experienced it firsthand: One moment, they’re as sweet as honey, and the next, they’re colder than ice.
It’s like walking on eggshells, not knowing what will trigger a shift in their mood.
Unpredictability can be particularly distressing for someone prone to anxiety, like me, and it leaves you in a constant state of anticipation and apprehension, never knowing what to expect.
If there’s someone in your life whose behavior keeps you on tenterhooks, it could be a sign they’re unknowingly exacerbating your anxiety.
Distance yourself from unpredictability for the sake of your mental health.
6) Over-dependence on you
Supporting others is a wonderful thing—it feels good to be there for the people we care about—but what happens when someone’s reliance on you goes beyond the norm?
Interestingly, being overly needed can trigger anxiety because it builds up your stress levels and, honestly, it’s a heavy load to bear, especially if you’re constantly worried about meeting their expectations or fear letting them down.
This over-dependence can be emotionally exhausting, leaving you feeling drained and anxious, even when you’re not around the person.
Prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries to ensure mutual respect and independence.
7) Lack of emotional support
Having someone who listens, understands, and provides emotional support can be a real anxiety buster, but what happens when someone close to you fails to provide this support when you need it the most?
It can leave you feeling isolated and unheard, increasing feelings of anxiety and stress, and you may start doubting your feelings or suppressing your emotions, which only adds fuel to the anxiety fire.
Your feelings are valid, and it’s understandable to seek support elsewhere.
8) They make you feel inferior
Lastly, if someone in your life is constantly belittling you, making you feel small or inferior, it can significantly amp up your anxiety.
The constant fear of being judged, ridiculed, or devalued can make you question your self-worth and lead to chronic anxiety.
No one has the right to make you feel less than you are.
You are enough, just as you are!
Embracing your emotional autonomy
If you’ve made it to this part of the article, you’ve taken a brave step towards understanding and managing your anxiety.
Recognizing that someone is contributing to your anxiety is about recognizing patterns that affect your mental health and protecting it.
Anxiety shouldn’t dictate your life, especially when amplified by others.
It’s okay to set boundaries, seek support, or distance yourself from situations that fuel anxiety—you are in control of your emotional well-being.
For as Carl Jung wisely said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
It’s time to wake up to the role others may be playing in your anxiety and reclaim control over your emotional landscape.
After all, you are not an anxious person—you are a complex individual with unique strengths and vulnerabilities—and you are worthy of relationships that honor your emotional autonomy and well-being.
Do you truly know yourself?
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