8 phrases a narcissist will use when you call them out on their lies, according to psychology

When you confront a narcissist about their lies, it can feel like hitting a brick wall.

Their response often leaves you more confused and frustrated than before.

Narcissists are experts at twisting words, shifting blame, and making you question your own perceptions.

Fortunately, psychology has identified several common phrases they use to deflect responsibility.

Recognizing these verbal tactics can empower you to stand firm, see through the manipulation, and avoid getting drawn into their emotional games:

1) “I never said that”

This is a classic phrase narcissists use when confronted with their lies.

It’s a form of ‘gaslighting’, a psychological manipulation technique narcissists often employ.

They’ll outright deny having said something, even if you heard them say it yourself.

For instance, you may confront a narcissist about a hurtful comment they made about you.

Their response? “I never said that”.

This tactic is meant to make you question your own memory and perception of events.

The aim is to create self-doubt and confusion in you.

This way, they can maintain control and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

You may end up feeling like you’re the one who misunderstood or misremembered things, when in fact, it’s the narcissist twisting the narrative to suit their needs.

In such situations, it’s important to trust your own memory and instincts rather than letting the narcissist manipulate your perception of reality.

2) “You’re too sensitive”

When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, this phrase is a common weapon in their arsenal.

Rather than admitting their lies, they might turn things around and put the blame on you for reacting to their dishonesty.

For example, if you express hurt or disappointment about a lie they’ve told, they could dismiss your feelings by saying you’re being overly sensitive.

It’s a subtle way of shifting the focus from their lie to your reaction, effectively diverting attention from their own dishonesty.

This phrase plays on your insecurities, making you question whether your responses are indeed overblown or out of line.

But remember, it’s a perfectly normal reaction to feel upset when someone lies to you.

Don’t let this deflective tactic undermine your valid feelings and responses!

3) “You’re imagining things”

This particular phrase is another favorite of narcissists.

It’s a powerful tool used to make you second-guess your own sanity; this pertains to a similar technique called ‘gaslighting,’ which I mentioned earlier.

For instance, if you confront a narcissist about an obvious lie they’ve told, they might insist that you’re simply imagining things.

By suggesting that you’re making up accusations in your head, they aim to distort your reality and make you question your own judgment and mental state.

Interestingly, the term ‘gaslighting’ originated from a 1938 play, and later a movie called ‘Gas Light’, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane.

Narcissists use this technique to maintain control and authority over others.

4) “I did it for your own good”

This phrase is often used by narcissists to justify their lies.

They may claim they lied to protect you or to avoid hurting your feelings.

It’s a manipulative tactic that’s used to paint them in a caring, selfless light.

When confronted about a lie, they may say things like, “I didn’t want to upset you” or “I thought I was doing what was best for you”.

It’s a seemingly considerate response that masks their avoidance of accountability. It’s about protecting themselves from the consequences of their actions.

5) “Everyone else agrees with me”

Narcissists have a knack for using the weight of the majority to validate their lies.

They may claim that everyone else shares their viewpoint, suggesting that you’re the one who’s mistaken or misguided.

For instance, if you call them out on a lie, they might respond with, “Everyone else agrees with me”.

This creates an us-versus-you scenario, pressuring you to conform to their narrative or risk feeling isolated and wrong.

But here’s the thing: the truth isn’t a democracy.

It doesn’t change based on how many people agree or disagree with it, and just because they’ve managed to convince others doesn’t make their lie any less false.

Stand firm in your convictions and don’t let their majority rule tactic sway your belief in the truth!

6) “You always misunderstand me”

This phrase is another deflection tactic used by narcissists.

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Instead of owning up to their lies, they shift the blame onto you, suggesting that you’re the one who always misunderstands them.

I once had a friend who had a habit of making outrageous claims. When I would confront her about these discrepancies, she would respond with, “You always misunderstand me”.

This would make me question my own understanding and even feel guilty for doubting her.

7) “I don’t have to explain myself to you”

This phrase is a firm declaration from a narcissist that they don’t owe you any explanation or justification for their actions.

It’s a power move designed to shut down any further discussion or questioning.

Let’s face it, when someone tells you this, it’s hard not to feel dismissed and disrespected.

But it’s important to remember that in healthy relationships, open communication and mutual respect are key.

If someone feels that they don’t owe you an explanation, especially when they’ve been caught in a lie, know that it’s not about your worthiness of an explanation—it’s about their refusal to take responsibility.

8) “That’s just your opinion”

Lastly, a narcissist may try to diminish your argument by stating that it’s just your opinion.

By doing so, they trivialize your feelings and observations, implying that they lack validity or importance.

The thing is, when it comes to lies, there are facts and there are falsehoods.

It’s not about opinions but about what’s true and what’s not; your viewpoints and feelings are valid and deserve respect.

In the face of such dismissive behavior, hold onto the truth.

Don’t let a narcissist’s manipulative tactics deter you from standing up for what’s right and real.

Above all, trust in yourself and value your own perspective—this is the most critical tool in dealing with a narcissist’s lies.

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissist tests your patience, resilience, and self-trust.

This article highlights common phrases they use when confronted with their lies, but the power of choice lies in your hands.

You can choose to stand firm in your truth, trust your perceptions, and not let anyone diminish your experiences or feelings.

Trust your perceptions, stand by your truth, and don’t let anyone diminish your feelings.

Stay strong, believe in yourself, and face any confrontation with confidence and clarity!

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Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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