People who were never hugged as children typically develop these 8 traits later in life, says a psychologist

If you’ve grown up without receiving much physical affection, you might find certain patterns in your adult life.

Being a child who was rarely hugged can shape you in profound ways, leading to a unique set of behaviors and reactions as you grow older.

As a psychologist, I’ve noticed these patterns can often manifest as eight specific traits. These traits aren’t a personal choice, they’re more like emotional scars from childhood.

Understanding these traits could be your first step towards healing and breaking these patterns.

So here’s a closer look at “People who were never hugged as children typically develop these 8 traits later in life,” as observed by a psychologist.

1) Difficulty forming close relationships

If you weren’t hugged much as a child, you might find it challenging to form close, intimate relationships in your adult life.

Why is this so? Hugs are a form of non-verbal communication and play an essential role in bonding with others. Without experiencing this form of affection, one might struggle with expressing or understanding emotional intimacy.

This doesn’t mean that you are incapable of forming relationships. It’s just that you might approach them differently, possibly with a degree of caution or uncertainty. You might also find it harder to trust others or open up emotionally.

This difficulty isn’t a personal failure but rather a response to the emotional environment you were brought up in. Recognizing this can be the first step towards understanding your behavior and working towards healthier relationships.

Remember, as an adult, you have the autonomy to break these patterns and cultivate the type of relationships you desire and deserve.

2) High levels of self-reliance

You’d think that someone who didn’t receive much physical affection as a child would constantly seek it in adulthood, but the opposite is often true. Many people who were rarely hugged as children develop a high level of self-reliance.

Without the physical reassurance from caregivers, these individuals often learn to depend on themselves from an early age. They learn to soothe their own distress and cater to their own needs.

This self-reliance might make them appear strong and independent, but it can also create a barrier against seeking help when they need it. They might struggle with the idea of relying on others, fearing vulnerability or rejection.

While being self-reliant is generally a positive trait, it’s vital to know that it’s okay to lean on others sometimes. Opening up to the idea of interdependence can lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

3) Heightened sensitivity to touch

As a result of a lack of physical affection in childhood, some people develop an increased sensitivity to touch. This might seem surprising, but it’s rooted in our neurological wiring.

Our skin is the largest organ and is loaded with neurons that respond to tactile stimuli. When we experience a lack of touch, especially during the formative years of childhood, our brains may adapt and become more sensitive to the slightest touch.

This heightened sensitivity can sometimes be misinterpreted as being ‘touch-averse’ or ‘uncomfortable with physical contact.’ But in reality, it’s more about the brain processing touch differently due to early experiences.

Understanding this can help individuals navigate their relationships and communicate their needs better. It also helps others to understand that reactions to touch are not personal but are linked to past experiences.

4) A strong desire to nurture others

Here’s something truly beautiful that often emerges in those who didn’t receive much physical affection as children: a deep-seated desire to nurture others.

You might find yourself naturally drawn to roles that allow you to care for and comfort others. This could be anything from working in a caring profession, such as nursing or teaching, to being the friend who everyone turns to for support.

This trait is a testament to your resilience and capacity for empathy. It reflects an instinctive understanding of the importance of affection and warmth, perhaps driven by your own experiences.

However, remember it’s also important to take care of yourself. You’re deserving of the same love and nurturing you give so freely to others. It’s okay to prioritise your wellbeing, and it’s more than okay to ask for love when you need it.

5) Craving for personal space

As an adult who didn’t receive much physical affection during childhood, you may find yourself cherishing your personal space more than others.

You know that feeling when you come home after a long day and just want to be alone? Or when you enjoy solo activities like reading, hiking, or simply sitting in quiet contemplation? That’s not being antisocial or aloof. It’s your way of recharging and finding comfort.

This need for personal space is a coping mechanism that developed from your early experiences. It’s how you’ve learned to create a safe, comfortable environment for yourself.

But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you’re destined to be alone. It’s about finding the right balance between connecting with others and maintaining your own personal comfort zone. And trust me, we all need that balance in our lives.

6) An appreciation for small gestures

Those who didn’t receive much physical affection as a child often develop a keen eye for small acts of kindness and consideration.

For example, I have a friend who grew up in a household where hugs and kisses were rare. As an adult, she finds immense joy in small gestures of warmth and affection. A handwritten note, a surprise cup of coffee, or a genuine compliment – these little things mean the world to her.

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This sensitivity to small gestures is a beautiful trait. It shows an ability to find joy and love in the simplest of actions, to appreciate the little things that others might overlook.

Remember, it’s these small gestures that often build the foundation of meaningful relationships. They are reminders that affection and care can be expressed in many different ways.

7) Struggle with self-worth

A lack of physical affection during childhood can sometimes lead to a struggle with self-worth in adulthood. You might find yourself questioning your value or worthiness of love and affection.

Let’s be clear: this is not a reflection of who you are. It’s a product of your past, not a defining feature of your character.

You are not less deserving of love, affection, or respect than anyone else. Don’t let anyone – including yourself – convince you otherwise. It’s time to confront these insecurities and challenge these self-doubts head on.

Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can be a powerful step towards building your self-esteem. You have the right to feel loved and valued, and it’s never too late to start believing that.

8) The power to change lies within you

The most significant trait of all is this: despite your experiences as a child, you have the power to change and grow.

Your past might have shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. You are not destined to be forever trapped by the patterns developed from a lack of physical affection in childhood.

You can learn to express and accept affection in your own unique way. You can build strong, loving relationships and embrace your worthiness of love and respect.

Remember, it’s never too late to seek help, learn, and change. You hold the power to shape your future, and it’s a future that can be filled with all the warmth and affection you desire.

Embracing your journey

Recognizing these traits brought on by a lack of physical affection in your childhood is a significant step towards understanding yourself better. It’s not about blaming or dwelling on the past, but about acknowledging its impact on your life.

This article aims to shed light on these traits, but remember, you’re not bound by them. They’re not a life sentence, but stepping stones to self-awareness and growth.

The time and energy you invest in understanding, accepting, and nurturing yourself is never wasted. It’s essential in your journey towards healing and fulfillment.

The beauty of life lies in its capacity for change, and you hold that power within you. Here’s to embracing the warmth of love and affection in your life, in all its forms. Here’s to you, growing, healing, and thriving.