People who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face usually display these 9 specific traits

Getting along with everyone is not easy, especially when you encounter people who are sweet to your face but talk behind your back.

Identifying these two-faced individuals might seem difficult, but they often show certain specific traits.

In this article, I’ll share nine traits that such people usually display, to help you spot them early.

Let’s get started. 

1) They excel in the art of sweet talking

Ever met someone who always seems to say the right thing at the right time?

These individuals are likely experts at sweet talking. They have a knack for making you feel special and important when you’re in their presence.

However, it’s crucial to remember that talk is cheap.

While their words might be honey-dripped and pleasing to the ears, their actions often tell a different story. Sweet talkers are notorious for talking behind one’s back while maintaining a friendly facade upfront.

It’s essential to watch out for this trait. A person who is consistently flattering and excessively sweet may have ulterior motives.

Don’t be swayed by their words alone; always consider their actions and consistency in behavior before forming an opinion about them.

2) They’re masters of inconsistency

In my personal encounter with two-faced individuals, one trait that stood out was their inconsistency.

Let me tell you about a former colleague of mine. We’ll call him John for the sake of this story. John was quite the charmer in person. He would always greet you with a big smile, ask about your day and offer his help whenever you needed it. It felt great to work with him.

But I started noticing something off. He would be friendly and supportive in person, but then I’d hear from others that he was making negative comments about me when I wasn’t around. It was confusing and hurtful.

This inconsistency between his actions and words was a clear sign of his two-faced nature. Remember, consistency is key in genuine relationships. If someone’s words don’t match their actions, it’s a big red flag to watch out for.

3) They thrive on gossip

Gossiping is one of the favorite pastimes of those who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face. You’ll often find them in the middle of office politics or neighborhood drama, stirring the pot and spreading rumors.

Interestingly, a study published in the journal “Nature” found that gossip can actually serve a social bonding function. It helps in forming alliances and can even be used as a tool for manipulation.

So next time you encounter someone who seems to always have the latest scoop or loves to share ‘interesting’ information about others, be cautious. It could very well be that they’re talking about you when you’re not around.

4) They avoid direct communication

People who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face usually have a hard time with direct communication. They tend to avoid confrontations or serious discussions that might lead to conflicts.

Instead, they prefer to vent their frustrations or share their thoughts about you with others, rather than addressing issues with you directly.

This lack of open communication can be damaging, creating misunderstandings and breeding negativity. It’s always better to surround yourself with people who value honest and direct conversations.

5) They display fake empathy

People who are two-faced often display a peculiar kind of empathy. On the surface, they seem to care deeply about your feelings and problems. They may even console you when you’re going through a hard time.

However, this empathy is usually skin-deep and doesn’t translate into supportive action. You might find them sympathizing with you one moment and then sharing your problems with others the next.

This fake empathy is just another tool for them to gain your trust and make you feel comfortable around them. Always remember that true empathy involves not just understanding someone’s feelings, but also respecting their privacy and supporting them genuinely.

6) They’re often fueled by insecurity

Beneath the surface of their friendly smiles and pleasant words, people who talk behind your back often harbor deep-seated insecurities.

They might feel threatened by your success, your relationships, or even just your happiness. And instead of dealing with these feelings in a healthy way, they choose to undermine you to others.

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It’s heartbreaking, really. Because these individuals are battling their own inner demons, they find it hard to genuinely celebrate others or be truly happy for them.

Remember this when dealing with such individuals. It’s not about you; it’s about them and their struggle with insecurity. Keep showing kindness and patience, while maintaining a safe distance to protect your own peace.

7) They struggle with authenticity

There was this one time when I had a friend who always seemed to agree with everything I said. She would nod along to my opinions, mirror my interests, and even mimic my style. It was flattering at first, until I realized that she was doing the same with others.

Her personality seemed to shift depending on who she was with. It was as if she didn’t have a genuine identity of her own. She was just reflecting back what she thought people wanted to see.

This lack of authenticity is a common trait among people who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face. They struggle with showing their true selves, likely out of fear of rejection or judgement. Instead, they become chameleons, changing their colors based on their surroundings.

True relationships, however, are built on authenticity and honesty. It’s okay to have differing opinions and unique interests. That’s what makes us human after all. So be wary of those who seem too eager to blend in; they may not be showing their true colors.

8) They have a knack for creating drama

Two-faced individuals have an uncanny ability to create drama where there is none. They may twist facts, manipulate situations, or spread rumors to stir up trouble.

This allows them to take the spotlight off their own flaws and shift the focus onto others. It’s a diversion tactic, designed to keep people busy with unnecessary drama while they continue their behind-the-scenes operations.

So if you notice someone who always seems to be at the center of conflicts or controversies, tread carefully. They might be creating these situations intentionally for their own benefit.

9) They lack genuine respect for others

At the heart of it all, people who talk behind your back but act friendly to your face lack a fundamental trait – respect for others. They disregard the basic human right to dignity and privacy.

While they may portray a friendly image, their actions reveal a lack of consideration for other people’s feelings and reputation. This disregard for respect is not only hurtful, but it can also lead to a toxic environment.

Everyone deserves respect and kindness. Don’t let anyone’s two-faced behavior make you question your worth or change who you are. Stay true to yourself and keep your integrity intact.