People who become harder and harder to deal with as they get older tend to display these 8 behaviors

Here’s a tough pill to swallow:

As people age, they don’t necessarily become wiser or easier to deal with. In fact, sometimes they become even more challenging.

You’ve probably tried to understand them, maybe you’ve attempted to change your approach or adjust your own behavior. But it still feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall.

It’s not always a grand spectacle of stubbornness or temper tantrums.

Sometimes, it’s more subtle – a growing sense of difficulty that creeps up on you until you realize that the person you once found so easy-going has somehow transformed into an enigma wrapped in a puzzle.

Here’s how you can identify the 8 behaviors that signal someone is becoming increasingly difficult as they get older, despite how hard it may be to accept.

1) They insist on always being right

Interactions can become increasingly difficult when someone just refuses to accept they might be wrong.

It’s like you’re constantly navigating a minefield, where one wrong step can trigger an explosion of defensiveness or stubbornness.

This isn’t just about refusing to admit when they’ve got their facts mixed up. It goes beyond that.

It’s about a deep-set belief that their way is the only way, their opinion the only valid perspective. It can feel like you’re dealing with a brick wall rather than a human being.

You may have hoped that maturity would bring with it a willingness to accept different viewpoints, but instead, you find yourself facing an ever-growing resistance.

This inflexible attitude is one of the most common behaviors displayed by people who become harder to deal with as they age.

2) Their communication becomes one-sided

Communication is a two-way street. But when people get older and harder to deal with, it can often feel like you’re trapped in a one-way tunnel.

It’s as if they’ve forgotten how to listen or simply choose not to. Conversations become lectures, dialogues turn into monologues.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

My Uncle Bob was always a bit of a storyteller. When I was younger, I used to sit spellbound as he spun tales of his wild adventures.

But as he got older, his storytelling changed. It was no longer about sharing experiences but about asserting his opinions.

Try as I might, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Any attempt to share my thoughts or feelings was swiftly steamrolled by another of Uncle Bob’s anecdotes.

When this kind of one-sided communication becomes the norm, it’s a clear sign that someone is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with as they age.

3) They struggle with change

There’s a quote by George Bernard Shaw that goes, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

Now, change is a part of life. It’s inevitable, and it’s necessary for growth. But for some people, the older they get, the more they resist it.

It’s as if they’ve dug themselves into a comfortable rut and refuse to budge. Anything new or different is immediately dismissed or even feared.

They cling to the past with a vice-like grip, and you find yourself constantly butting heads with them over the smallest of changes.

“Back in my day…” becomes their battle cry, and any suggestion you make is met with an almost hostile resistance.

When a person becomes this resistant to change as they age, dealing with them can become an uphill struggle.

4) They become less empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what makes us human, what connects us to each other.

Research indicates that certain aspects of empathy, particularly cognitive empathy—the capacity to understand another’s perspective—tend to decline with age.

For instance, a study published in PLOS ONE found that both emotional and cognitive empathy increased from young adulthood, peaking around age 60, before experiencing a decline in older age.

It’s like they’ve built a fortress around themselves and refuse to let anyone in. You try to share your thoughts and feelings, but they just don’t seem interested.

You might find yourself feeling unheard or invalidated, like your experiences don’t matter to them.

When someone becomes less empathetic as they age, it can make them significantly more difficult to deal with.

5) They become overly critical

In line with the decreasing level of empathy, a person may develop a hypercritical attitude as they age.

It’s like they’ve donned a pair of glasses that only let them see the negative. Every action is scrutinized, every decision is questioned, every mistake is magnified.

You might find yourself constantly on the defensive, always trying to justify your actions or decisions. It’s exhausting and it can make your relationship with them incredibly strained.

Constructive criticism is one thing but constant negativity is quite another. 

6) They become fixated on routine

As people age, they may find comfort and security in routine. It provides a sense of consistency and order in their lives.

But there’s a fine line between liking routine and becoming inflexible about it.

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People who become detached from society as they age usually adopt these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

They might insist on having meals at the same time every day, watching the same TV shows, following the same route to the grocery store, and so on. Any deviation from their routine may not be welcomed.

You might find yourself tip-toeing around them, trying not to disrupt their schedule or routine. This rigidity can make interactions with them far more challenging than before.

7) They start to isolate themselves

We’re social creatures by nature. We need interaction and connection to thrive. But as some people get older, they may start to withdraw from social activities.

It’s not just about physical isolation, like staying home more often. It’s also about emotional isolation, like becoming less responsive to calls and messages, or showing a lack of interest in what’s going on in your life.

You might find it increasingly challenging to engage them in conversation or to get them to participate in family events. It feels like they’re pulling away, creating a distance that wasn’t there before.

When someone starts to isolate themselves as they age, it can be a clear sign that they’re becoming harder to deal with.

8) They resist assistance or support

As people age, they may need more help with everyday tasks or health issues. But ironically, this is when some people become most resistant to assistance.

It’s like they see accepting help as admitting weakness or losing independence. They insist on doing everything themselves, often to their own detriment.

This resistance to support can often stem from a desire to preserve autonomy, as research highlights that increased stubbornness in older adults is frequently a response to age-related changes and the perceived loss of control over their lives.

You might find yourself in a constant tug-of-war, trying to provide support while respecting their need for autonomy. It’s a difficult balance to strike and can lead to a lot of frustration and misunderstanding.

This resistance can be the most challenging behavior to navigate as it directly impacts their well-being and your ability to provide care.

Final thoughts

Dealing with people who become more challenging as they age can be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s a journey filled with frustration, helplessness, and sometimes, guilt.

But understanding these behaviors is the first step towards better handling these situations. Knowledge is power, after all.

It’s not about changing them but about adjusting your approach. It’s about finding that delicate balance between respect and assertiveness.

It may be helpful to seek support from professionals or join support groups. You’re not alone in this struggle, and there are resources out there to help you navigate these challenging waters.

When faced with these behaviors, take a moment to breathe. Reflect on your responses and interactions. Is there something you could do differently? What strategies worked well?

Don’t forget that it’s okay to prioritize your own mental health. It’s okay to set boundaries.

Take this journey one day at a time. Be patient with yourself and with them. Through this difficult process, you might just discover new strengths within yourself.