Navigating the choppy waters of human emotions can be a challenge, to say the least.
Especially when it comes to those who put on a happy face, despite battling inner turmoil.
You may have encountered them in your life, or maybe you’re one of them yourself.
On the outside, they seem perfectly content, always smiling, always positive. But deep inside, they are waging a silent war with their feelings.
It’s not always a grand spectacle; it’s subtler than that.
You might notice small cues here and there suggesting that everything is not as rosy as it appears.
In this article, we’re going to delve into these signs that often go unnoticed.
Here are eight subtle behaviors usually displayed by those who might appear happy on the surface but are emotionally struggling underneath.
Brace yourself, for this journey into the human psyche may be a roller coaster of surprises.
1) They’re always putting on a brave face
There’s something captivating about people who are always cheerful and full of life. Their energy is contagious and it’s hard not to get swept up in their positivity.
But beneath the radiant smiles and upbeat demeanor, there might be a deeper story.
People who are emotionally struggling often become experts at hiding their true feelings. They’ll laugh loudest, smile widest, and always appear to be the life of the party.
But when you look a little closer, you might notice that their eyes don’t sparkle quite as much as their grin suggests.
They may be trying to distract themselves or others from what’s really going on. It’s a coping mechanism, a mask they put on to conceal their inner turbulence.
This constant act of appearing happy can be mentally exhausting and is usually the first subtle sign that someone is battling inner demons while maintaining a cheerful facade.
2) They’re often the shoulder to cry on
I can recall a friend of mine, let’s call her Lucy. Lucy was always the one people turned to when they needed advice or just someone to listen to their problems.
She was compassionate, understanding, and always ready to lend an ear. Everyone thought of her as the strong one, the rock, the person who had everything figured out.
But one day, I saw a different side to Lucy. We were hanging out at her place when she received a distressing phone call.
After hanging up, she just sat there silently. When I asked her if everything was ok, she broke down in tears.
In that moment, I realized that Lucy had been carrying everyone else’s burdens while neglecting her own. She’d gotten so used to being the support system for others that she’d forgotten how to reach out when she needed help herself.
The tendency to be the reliable one, the problem-solver, can be a subtle sign of someone who is outwardly happy but emotionally struggling inside.
They’re so focused on helping others that they often overlook their own needs and feelings.
3) They’re the embodiment of “the show must go on”
Famous playwright Robert Frost once said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” It’s a profound sentiment that speaks volumes about resilience and the human spirit.
People who are outwardly happy but inwardly struggling often live by this mantra.
No matter what they’re going through internally, they continue to perform their daily tasks, meet expectations, and maintain their social roles.
They may be crumbling inside, but they still show up for work, continue to engage with friends and family, and fulfill their responsibilities.
They push through their emotional pain with a kind of stoic determination.
This relentless persistence, this refusal to let their inner turmoil affect their external actions, is a subtle behavior often exhibited by people who are battling unseen emotional struggles.
It’s like they’re performing on a stage, adhering to the script of a happy life while hiding the reality of their emotional distress behind the scenes.
4) They’re often perfectionists
Perfectionism isn’t just about having an immaculate house or always striving for the best grades.
It’s a psychological trait characterized by setting unrealistically high standards and being overly critical of one’s own performance.
Studies found that rates of perfectionism have risen significantly among young people over the last three decades. This is largely due to societal pressure and the influence of social media.
People who are emotionally struggling while appearing happy often fall into this category. They’re always aiming for perfection, whether it’s in their work, their appearance, or their relationships.
They believe that if they can just get everything right, they’ll eventually feel better on the inside too.
This constant striving for perfection can be a subtle sign of internal unrest hidden beneath a seemingly happy exterior.
5) They’re excessively generous
Have you ever met someone who seems to always go above and beyond for others? They’re the first to volunteer, the last to leave, and they never say ‘no’ to a request for help.
In moderation, generosity is a beautiful trait. It suggests empathy, kindness, and a strong social conscience.
But when it’s excessive, it can also be a telltale sign of a person who’s struggling on the inside while appearing happy on the outside.
Often, these people use their generosity as a way to feel good about themselves.
It’s like they’re trying to compensate for their inner turmoil by doing good deeds. It’s also a way of distracting themselves from their own pain and problems.
6) They’re often restless and overactive
You know those people who always seem to be on the go?
They’re always working on a project, always planning the next adventure, always filling their schedule with activities.
On the surface, they might seem like they’re just full of energy and enthusiasm. But this constant busyness can also be a subtle sign of emotional struggle.
Sometimes, staying active is a way to keep the mind occupied and avoid confronting difficult feelings.
It’s a form of escapism, a way to run from the emotional pain that they’re experiencing internally.
7) They’re overly concerned with the wellbeing of others
While it’s normal and healthy to care about the people in our lives, some individuals take this to an extreme extent.
They’re always worried about their loved ones, constantly checking in on them, and often putting their needs above their own.
This behavior might seem incredibly selfless and caring on the surface. But underneath, it can be a sign of emotional struggle.
Why? Because focusing on others can be a way to avoid dealing with personal issues.
It’s easier to solve someone else’s problems than confront your own.
Moreover, their constant worry for others can stem from their own feelings of insecurity and fear. They project their internal turmoil onto others as a means of coping.
8) They seldom share their personal struggles
One of the most telling signs of someone who is outwardly happy but inwardly struggling is their reluctance to share their personal problems.
They’re always there to listen to others, but when it comes to their own issues, they’re incredibly tight-lipped.
They may brush off personal questions or change the topic when the conversation gets too deep.
This is not because they don’t have any problems – everyone does. It’s because they’re trying to maintain the image of being happy and stable.
They might fear that revealing their struggles would shatter this image and make them appear weak or burdensome.
Their silence about their own issues can be both a shield to protect their perceived happiness and a barrier that keeps others from seeing their internal struggle.
Wrapping it up
Emotional struggles are human, and it’s okay to have them even if they’re hidden beneath a cheerful facade.
Acknowledging this can be a powerful tool for healing and growth.
If you’re the person who’s always smiling on the outside but struggling on the inside, remember that it’s okay to let your guard down.
It’s okay to ask for help, to express your true feelings, and to take time for yourself.
Accepting your emotional struggles doesn’t mean resigning yourself to them. It means acknowledging them as a part of your journey and using them as a starting point for self-improvement.
For those who recognize these signs in others, remember that your role isn’t to fix them but to support them. Be patient, be understanding, and most importantly, be there for them.
And finally, let’s all strive for a world where we can be both outwardly happy and inwardly at peace.
Because everyone deserves to experience genuine happiness – inside and out.
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