There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like your own kids don’t listen to you.
You ask them to do something, and they either ignore you completely or give a half-hearted response before going back to whatever they were doing. It can feel personal, but most of the time, it’s not.
The truth is, parents who are frequently ignored often have certain habits that make it easier for their kids to tune them out—without even realizing it.
If you’ve ever wondered why your words don’t seem to have much impact, it might be time to take a closer look at these behaviors. Here are eight common habits that could be causing your kids to ignore you.
1) Repeating yourself too much
If you’ve ever had to say the same thing over and over again before your kids finally respond, you’re not alone.
It might seem like the only way to get their attention, but ironically, repeating yourself too much can have the opposite effect.
When kids know they’ll hear the same request multiple times, they start tuning it out. Instead of responding right away, they wait until you get frustrated enough to really mean it.
A better approach? Say it once, clearly and firmly. If they don’t respond, follow up with a consequence or an action instead of just saying it again. This helps them learn that your words matter the first time you say them.
2) Not following through on consequences
I used to tell my kids, “If you don’t clean up your toys, you won’t get any screen time.” But when they ignored me, I’d end up letting it slide because I didn’t want to deal with the meltdown.
The problem? They quickly learned that my words didn’t really mean anything. They knew I wouldn’t follow through, so they had no reason to take me seriously.
Kids are smart. If they realize that there are no real consequences to ignoring you, they’ll keep doing it.
Once I started sticking to what I said—no clean-up, no screen time—they started paying attention. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, they learned that when I said something, I meant it.
3) Talking too much when giving instructions
When adults speak to children, they often use far more words than necessary. But research shows that kids, especially younger ones, can struggle to process long-winded explanations.
The more you talk, the easier it is for them to lose focus or tune you out completely.
Instead of giving long instructions filled with reasoning and extra details, try keeping it short and direct.
For example, instead of saying, “You need to put your shoes on now because we’re running late, and if we don’t leave soon, we’ll be late to your soccer practice,” just say, “Put your shoes on now.”
Clear, simple instructions are much harder to ignore.
4) Raising your voice too often
It’s natural to get frustrated when your kids don’t listen, and sometimes, you might find yourself raising your voice to get their attention.
But if yelling becomes a regular thing, it can start to lose its effectiveness. When kids get used to hearing you shout, they learn to tune it out—just like any other background noise.
Instead of relying on volume, try lowering your voice instead. A calm but firm tone can actually grab their attention more because it’s different from what they expect.
When yelling stops being the default, it carries more weight when you do need to use it in serious situations.
5) Not giving them your full attention
We expect our kids to listen to us, but how often do we truly listen to them?
It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life—checking emails, scrolling on our phones, thinking about the next thing on our to-do list—all while half-listening to what our kids are saying.
But kids notice when they’re not being heard. And when they feel like their words don’t matter, they start treating ours the same way.
Giving them your full attention, even for just a few minutes, can make a huge difference. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and show them that what they say is important. When they feel heard, they’re more likely to listen in return.
6) Expecting instant obedience
For a long time, I thought that if my kids didn’t respond immediately, it meant they were ignoring me or being disrespectful.
But the truth is, kids don’t always switch gears as quickly as we’d like. If they’re in the middle of something—playing, reading, or even just daydreaming—it takes time for them to mentally transition.
Instead of demanding an instant response, I started giving them a heads-up. Saying, “In five minutes, it’s time to clean up,” helped them prepare for the change instead of resisting it.
I also realized that sometimes, they just needed a moment to process what I was asking before responding. And when I gave them that space, I found they listened a lot more willingly.
7) Correcting everything they do
Nobody likes feeling like they can’t do anything right—including kids.
If every interaction with them is filled with corrections—“Sit up straight,” “Stop doing that,” “You’re not holding it right”—they start to tune you out. After a while, it just becomes background noise.
Of course, guidance is important, but constantly pointing out mistakes can make kids feel like nothing they do is good enough. And when that happens, they may stop listening altogether.
Sometimes, it’s okay to let the little things go. Choose your battles wisely, and when you do need to correct them, try balancing it with encouragement. A little positivity goes a long way in keeping their ears open.
8) Not modeling good listening
Kids learn how to listen by watching us.
If we interrupt them, talk over them, or dismiss their thoughts, they’ll do the same to us.
If we want them to listen, we have to show them what real listening looks like—pausing to hear them out, responding thoughtfully, and giving them the same respect we expect in return.
The way we listen to them shapes the way they listen to us.
Bottom line: connection starts with us
Human communication isn’t just about words—it’s about connection. And when kids consistently ignore their parents, it’s rarely because they don’t care. More often, it’s because they’ve learned patterns that make tuning out the easier option.
Psychologists have long emphasized that children’s responsiveness is shaped by their environment. The way we speak, listen, and engage with them directly influences how they respond to us.
Every interaction is an opportunity to build a stronger connection. A pause before repeating ourselves, a moment of genuine attention, or a shift in tone can all make the difference.
When we change how we communicate, we change how they listen.
