As the founder of Love Connection and a longtime writer at Blog Herald, I’ve spent countless hours researching psychology and self-improvement.
Along the way, I’ve noticed there are some folks who just have that magnetic energy right from the start. You know the ones—the moment they say “Hi,” you’re immediately drawn in.
So, what’s their secret? I’ve boiled it down to 7 things these people usually do in the first five minutes.
Let’s dive in!
1. They Radiate Warmth and Positivity
Ever walk into a room and feel an instant glow from someone? That’s what I mean by warmth. These people smile easily, hold good posture, and treat each new person like an old friend they’re thrilled to see.
Psychologist Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology, often talks about how our mindset shapes our reality. If we carry a genuinely optimistic attitude, it tends to rub off on everyone around us.
A quick smile, a friendly “Hey, how’s your day going?”—and suddenly, the ice is broken.
2. They’re Genuinely Curious About You
Some folks walk into a conversation with the sole purpose of listening. It’s not about them; it’s about you. They ask questions (without grilling you!) and lean in to hear your answers.
I find this skill especially valuable when I’m interviewing couples at Love Connection. The most successful dates tend to be the ones where each person shows genuine interest in the other’s passions.
Like Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychologist, once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”
3. They Focus on Listening (Instead of Plotting Their Next Move)
Some people prepare their next line while you’re still talking. But those who make memorable first impressions listen actively. They nod, ask clarifying questions, and give that little “mm-hmm” now and then (but not too much—overdoing it can get weird, trust me).
I used to be so nervous about what I’d say next that I’d forget to hear what the other person was actually telling me. Once I took a cue from my research in self-improvement—and practiced being present—I noticed my conversations became deeper and more genuine.
4. They Use Body Language to Show Respect
Great first-impression-makers don’t cross their arms like they’re bracing for a snowstorm. They keep their shoulders open, stand or sit up straight, and maintain comfortable eye contact (not a creepy, unblinking stare!).
Famed psychologist Amy Cuddy once said in her TED Talk, “Your body language shapes who you are.” Small gestures, like angling your torso toward the person speaking and offering a firm (but not bone-crushing) handshake, can convey kindness, interest, and respect within seconds.
5. They Sprinkle in a Personal Touch or Humor
Okay, this might be my favorite. A little humor can go a long way in making someone feel at ease. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian—just share a small anecdote that shows you’re human.
When I first started Love Connection, I was so nervous about talking to people that I’d overcompensate with cheesy one-liners. Over time, I learned that a short, sweet, slightly self-deprecating joke can break the tension and remind everyone we’re all just people trying to have a good chat.
6. They Connect with Empathy
This goes hand in hand with genuine curiosity, but it’s worth its own spotlight. Empathy is that ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes, even if you’ve never walked a mile in them.
Brené Brown often emphasizes that empathy strengthens our relationships by creating an emotional bridge. When you say things like, “I can’t imagine how that feels” or “That must have been tough,” you’re letting the other person know you’re there with them—and that reassurance fosters trust almost immediately.
7. They Leave People Feeling Empowered
People who rock that first impression don’t just talk at you—they uplift you. Maybe they give a sincere compliment about your work or they point out a unique trait that makes you stand out.
I personally love seeing how a small spark of encouragement can turn someone’s whole day around. Dr. John Gottman, famous for his work on relationships, suggests that positive interactions need to vastly outnumber negative ones to create lasting connections. So why not leave each new person feeling they’ve just won the mini-lottery of human connection?
Final Thoughts
Putting your best foot forward in the first five minutes isn’t about following a rigid script. It’s really about kindness, warmth, and genuine curiosity. Remember: “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do,” as Carl Jung once said.
So, the next time you’re meeting someone new—be it a date, a coworker, or a random person at a coffee shop—try these 7 tips. Who knows, that first impression might just turn into a lasting friendship, a career opportunity, or even a soulmate story fit for the ages.
