Growing up in a world full of rules, labels, and expectations can feel suffocating.
We’re often handed a script on how to live, only to discover later that the script doesn’t always honor who we really are.
Inspired by ideas in postmodernism, I’ve come to see how questioning society’s “truths” can open doors we didn’t even know existed.
Below, I’ll share 8 common beliefs society drills into us—beliefs I think we should all consider letting go of. Unlearning them isn’t always comfortable, but it can lead to a more authentic and satisfying life.
1. Success means checking off a predefined list
I used to think I had to follow the classic checklist: get a degree, land a stable job, find a partner, buy a house. But over time, I discovered a disconnect between that script and what actually made me feel fulfilled.
Psychologically, this rigid measure of success can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a lingering sense that we’re “behind” if we miss any step.
If you’ve ever felt less accomplished because you chose a different path, consider that your unique idea of success might be the real treasure.
2. Emotions are weaknesses you should hide
From an early age, society often implies that crying or showing vulnerability is a flaw. It teaches us to keep our emotions under lock and key, especially in professional or public settings.
Yet, psychology reveals that openly expressing how we feel can improve resilience and deepen connections with others.
The key is learning to channel emotions constructively, rather than suppressing them or letting them spiral out of control.
I’ve realized that when I finally allowed myself to be transparent about my worries or fears, people responded with empathy, not judgment.
That was when I saw how healthy vulnerability can actually foster closeness and mutual respect.
3. You must follow the crowd to belong
The pressure to “fit in” can make us overlook what’s truly important to us.
Sometimes we even adopt beliefs we don’t fully agree with, just to avoid rocking the boat.
Over time, bending to group norms can distance us from our genuine desires and values. It’s human nature to want acceptance, but you don’t have to sacrifice your individuality in the process.
Paradoxically, when you have the courage to stand apart, you often attract people who value the real you. And there’s an unshakeable sense of peace in knowing you’re accepted for who you actually are, not for a performance.
4. Your worth depends on others’ approval
I recall how my mood once depended on whether someone complimented me or validated my choices.
It was exhausting, and it made me realize I’d internalized the belief that external praise equaled personal value.
That’s when I came across Ruda Iande’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass.
I initially joined to tackle my habit of second-guessing myself, but ended up uncovering how deeply I craved external validation.
Through Ruda’s guidance, I realized many of my insecurities were echoes of societal standards—like needing to be universally liked or admired.
He encouraged me to question these stories and replace them with a more self-sustaining sense of worth.
After doing the exercises, I felt a massive shift. Instead of constantly checking if others approved, I learned to rely on my own judgment and gut feelings more.
When you unlearn the idea that approval determines worth, you free up the mental energy you spent on people-pleasing. From there, you can focus on what truly matters—growing into the person you aspire to be.
5. Productivity is the ultimate measure of success
We live in a hustle culture that equates being busy with being valuable. If you’re not constantly grinding, it’s easy to feel like you’re wasting time or lacking ambition.
However, studies suggest that chronic busyness can hamper creativity and lead to burnout.
Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is rest, reflect, or even daydream.
I remember a period where I packed every minute of my schedule in an attempt to feel accomplished. When I finally gave myself permission to pause—no tasks, no checklist—it felt like a breath of fresh air.
Breaking away from the productivity-at-all-costs mindset gave me room to discover interests I’d been ignoring.
Ironically, once I reclaimed leisure time, I became more energized and productive in a healthy way.
6. One “right” path exists for everyone
Society loves to portray life as a linear progression: school, career, marriage, children, and retirement.
But real life rarely unfolds in neat, predictable stages.
A more postmodern perspective suggests that truth—and our paths—are fluid, shaped by context and personal choices. You can carve a unique route that resonates with you, even if it looks nothing like the norm.
I found myself at a crossroads a few years ago, debating if it was too late to switch careers. But I realized that the only person who decides if something is “too late” is me.
Whenever someone tries to define your path for you, question why their version should override your own.
Stay open to possibilities, twists, and even dead ends, because they might lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself.
7. Confrontation is always destructive
Avoiding conflict can seem like the more polite or peaceful choice.
I used to run from difficult conversations, afraid of the discomfort they might bring.
However, psychology acknowledges that healthy conflict can strengthen relationships by fostering transparency. Disagreements, when approached respectfully, can clarify boundaries and reveal deeper truths.
It took me a while to see that confrontation is not always about winning an argument; it can be about mutual understanding.
Learning to handle conflict in a balanced way taught me that it’s more damaging to bottle up resentment than to speak honestly.
8. The future is set in stone
If there’s one illusion that holds people back, it’s the belief that the future is carved out by forces beyond our control.
Society tends to make us feel like we have to stick to roles we’ve been given or settle for the status quo.
But time and again, we see stories of individuals who flip the script and reinvent themselves, proving that change is possible at any life stage.
It might not be easy, and setbacks are inevitable, but believing in your ability to alter your destiny can bring a sense of hope and purpose.
I’ve had moments where I worried I’d missed my chance to pursue certain dreams.
Yet, every time I’ve taken a leap—joined a new workshop, traveled solo, or made a career pivot—new doors opened that I never saw before.
The future is dynamic, shaped by the choices you make today and the beliefs you carry.
When you let go of the myth that everything is already decided, you can embrace a mindset of possibility and growth.
Conclusion
Unlearning these eight beliefs doesn’t mean rejecting society as a whole.
It just means you know how to recognize which teachings genuinely serve your growth and which ones might be limiting who you can become.
If you’re ready to dig deeper into the stories and fears holding you back, I suggest checking out Ruda Iande’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass.
It gave me the tools to challenge narratives I didn’t even realize I’d internalized, to the point that I signed up for Ruda’s Out of the Box course once I saw how life-changing this process could be.
At the end of the day, you get to choose what lessons you keep and what you let go. Society might hand you a script, but only you can decide whether to stick to it or write a whole new story for yourself.
