Emotional intelligence isn’t just about grand gestures or deep conversations—it’s often revealed in the smallest, most unassuming behaviors.
From how someone listens during a casual chat to the way they handle disagreements, these subtle actions can say a lot about their ability to connect with others on an emotional level.
In this article, we’ll uncover seven tiny yet powerful behaviors that reveal a person’s emotional intelligence and explain why they matter more than you might think.
1) Active listening
We all know communication is key, but how many of us really focus on the listening part?
Active listening is a tiny behavior that says a lot about a person’s emotional intelligence.
It’s not just about hearing words but really understanding what the other person is saying.
People with high emotional intelligence go beyond just listening—they engage, ask questions, and show genuine interest in understanding others’ perspectives.
It’s not about waiting for your turn to speak, but rather about creating a space where the other person feels heard and understood.
This behavior shows empathy—a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence.
When you actively listen to someone, you’re not just acknowledging their words, you’re acknowledging their feelings and experiences.
2) Emotional self-awareness
I remember a time when I was in a high-pressure meeting at work.
The stakes were high and everyone’s stress levels were through the roof.
I could feel my own anxiety levels rising, mirroring the tense energy in the room.
This is where emotional self-awareness comes into play; it’s the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions as they’re happening, and it’s a crucial part of emotional intelligence.
Instead of letting my emotions take over completely, I took a moment to acknowledge what I was feeling.
Recognizing the anxiety allowed me to pause, take a deep breath, and reassess the situation—it helped me manage my reaction and stay focused during the meeting.
Emotional self-awareness is like having an internal emotional compass; it doesn’t prevent you from experiencing strong emotions, but it helps you navigate them more effectively.
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People with high emotional intelligence have this awareness.
They’re able to recognize their emotions, understand why they’re feeling them, and then use this understanding to guide their behavior.
3) Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a cornerstone of emotional intelligence.
People who exhibit high levels of empathy can put themselves in someone else’s shoes, understanding their thoughts, feelings, and experiences from their perspective.
This goes beyond just recognizing someone else’s emotions – it’s about feeling what they’re feeling.
Did you know that humans are naturally wired for empathy?
Neuroscientists have discovered mirror neurons in our brains that respond in the same way whether we are performing an action or watching someone else perform the action.
This means that when we see someone else experiencing an emotion, our brains can mirror that emotion.
People with high emotional intelligence take this natural empathy a step further as they use it to guide their interactions with others, fostering understanding and positive relationships.
4) Emotional regulation
We’ve all experienced those moments when our emotions seem to get the best of us.
Maybe we’ve snapped at a colleague out of frustration, or let stress ruin our day.
People with high emotional intelligence have a knack for controlling and managing their emotions, especially in stressful situations.
Emotional regulation is about more than just keeping negative emotions in check; it’s also about finding productive outlets for these emotions and not allowing them to dictate our actions.
For instance, someone with high emotional intelligence might take a few deep breaths to calm down when they’re feeling frustrated or anxious.
They may also choose to engage in a constructive conversation rather than allowing anger to lead to an argument.
5) Gratitude
There was a time in my life when things were particularly challenging: I was going through a tough breakup, struggling with work, and felt like I was sinking under the weight of it all.
During this period, I found solace in practicing gratitude.
Every night before bed, I would write down three things I was grateful for from that day.
Some days it was as simple as a warm cup of coffee or a phone call with a friend.
Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can have a transformative impact on your mindset and overall happiness, and it’s a clear sign of emotional intelligence.
People who regularly express gratitude have the ability to find positivity in most situations, even when things are tough.
It’s not about ignoring negative emotions but about finding a balance and appreciating the good things in life.
6) Open-mindedness
Have you ever been in a heated discussion and noticed someone willing to consider different viewpoints, even when they contradict their own?
That’s open-mindedness in action, and it’s a clear sign of emotional intelligence.
Open-minded individuals are always ready to reevaluate their beliefs when presented with new evidence.
They understand that their perspective is not the only one and are willing to learn from others’ experiences.
Being open-minded also means being comfortable with uncertainty; it requires flexibility and the ability to adapt to new situations or ideas.
This behavior reflects an understanding that personal growth often comes from challenging our own beliefs and being receptive to new ideas.
The next time you’re in a discussion, observe how people respond to differing opinions—those who show openness and curiosity are likely demonstrating a high level of emotional intelligence.
7) Responsiveness to feedback
Lastly, people with high emotional intelligence view feedback—both positive and negative—as an opportunity to learn and grow.
They don’t take criticism personally, but see it as valuable information that can help them improve.
Whether it’s a colleague suggesting a different approach to a project, or a friend pointing out a blind spot in their behavior, individuals with high emotional intelligence listen, reflect, and adjust accordingly.
This is perhaps the most critical behavior of all, because it underpins all the others.
Without responsiveness to feedback, it’s difficult to develop self-awareness, empathy, or any other aspect of emotional intelligence.
Final thoughts: It’s all about connection
The complexities of human behavior are fascinating, and emotional intelligence is a prime example.
It weaves together various aspects of our psyche, creating a web of interconnections that influence how we interact with the world around us.
One significant insight about emotional intelligence is its connection to our relationships.
American psychologist Daniel Goleman, who helped popularize the concept, said, “Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.”
These tiny behaviors that we’ve discussed—active listening, emotional self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, gratitude, open-mindedness, and responsiveness to feedback—are threads that weave together to form the tapestry of our emotional intelligence.
As you move forward, consider these behaviors and their role in your life.
Reflect on your own emotional intelligence and how it influences your interactions with others.
Remember, it’s about using this understanding to foster connection and empathy—being human in the most profound sense.
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