7 signs you’re living in survival mode—even if everything looks fine on the outside

There’s a big gap between living and merely surviving, and it’s not always as visible as we might think.

You see, survival mode is a state where you’re just getting by, managing life’s hurdles instead of truly experiencing them. The tricky part? You might be stuck in it even if everything seems perfectly fine from the outside looking in.

Living in survival mode means you’re constantly in a state of stress, always on edge, even when there’s no apparent reason to be. But how can you tell if you’re stuck in this self-perpetuating cycle?

Well, there are seven tell-tale signs that indicate you’re living in survival mode, even if everything appears rosy on the surface. And spotting these signs is your first step towards breaking free and truly living.

So let’s dive in, shall we?

1) You’re always on high alert

Living in survival mode isn’t about tangible dangers; it’s about feeling constantly on edge, as if something’s wrong even when there’s no evidence to suggest that.

It’s a state of chronic hypervigilance. You’re always braced for the next metaphorical blow, even if you’re sitting in a safe and comfortable environment.

Every phone ring makes your heart race, every unexpected knock at the door makes you jump—your body is stuck in a constant state of fight or flight.

This high alert state can be mentally exhausting, keeping you from fully relaxing and enjoying life. It’s like your mind is continuously scanning for potential threats, leaving little room for anything else.

Remember, it’s okay to let your guard down sometimes. Life isn’t always about bracing for impact – sometimes, it’s about letting go and truly living in the moment. And recognizing this sign can be your first step towards breaking free from survival mode.

2) You’re constantly exhausted, no matter how much sleep you get

Here’s something I’ve personally experienced. During a particularly stressful time in my life, I noticed I was always tired. I mean, bone-deep exhausted, even though I was getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night.

I’d wake up feeling as if I hadn’t slept at all, dragging myself through the day on autopilot. Coffee became my constant companion, but even that didn’t shake off the perpetual fog of fatigue.

This relentless exhaustion is a classic sign of being in survival mode. It’s as if your body is using up all its energy to stay on high alert, leaving you with nothing to fuel your day-to-day activities.

The important thing to remember here is that it’s not normal to feel constantly tired. If you’re getting enough sleep but still feel drained, it might be time to step back and evaluate whether you’re stuck in survival mode.

3) You have difficulty focusing on the present

When you’re in survival mode, your mind is often stuck in a loop of past worries or future anxieties. This constant mental time travel can make it hard to stay focused on the present moment.

Interestingly, this mirrors findings from a Harvard University study. It discovered that people spend 46.9% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re currently doing. This mind-wandering, the researchers found, tends to make people unhappy.

So if you find yourself constantly zoning out or struggling to keep your attention on the task at hand, it could be a sign that you’re living in survival mode. After all, being truly present in the moment is a crucial part of living, not just surviving.

4) You struggle to make decisions

Ever found yourself standing in the grocery aisle, paralyzed by the simple task of choosing a brand of cereal? Or maybe you’ve delayed replying to an email because you can’t decide on the best response.

This is more than just indecisiveness. When you’re in survival mode, even the smallest decisions can feel overwhelming. It’s as if your brain is already burdened with staying alert for potential threats, and it just doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with anything else.

If decision-making has become a stressful task, it might be an indication that you’re living in survival mode. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help or take your time when making decisions. Life isn’t a race, and every step forward counts.

5) Your emotions feel out of control

I remember a time when I would find myself bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. A kind word, a minor inconvenience, an unexpected change of plans – it didn’t matter. My emotions were right there on the surface, ready to spill over at any moment.

This is more than just being sensitive; it’s a sign of living in survival mode. When you’re constantly on high alert, your emotions are often heightened as well. You might find yourself swinging from extreme joy to intense sadness with no apparent trigger.

Recognizing this emotional roller-coaster for what it is – a symptom of survival mode – can be the first step towards regaining control. It’s okay to feel, but remember that emotions aren’t always reality. They’re just one part of the complex human experience.

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6) You’ve lost interest in the things you used to enjoy

Remember those weekend hikes you used to love? The joy you found in painting, or the thrill of diving into a new book? If these activities now feel like just another chore, it’s a sign that something’s not right.

In survival mode, your focus is narrowed down to the bare essentials – getting through the day. The hobbies and pastimes that used to bring you joy might now seem like unnecessary burdens.

But life isn’t meant to be a constant grind. It’s important to make time for activities that make your heart sing, that make you feel alive and connected. If you’ve lost that connection, it might be time to evaluate whether you’re living or merely surviving.

7) You feel isolated, even when you’re not alone

The most telling sign of living in survival mode is a feeling of isolation. Even when surrounded by friends or loved ones, you might feel alone in your struggles. It’s as if there’s an invisible wall separating you from the rest of the world.

Remember, no one is an island. We’re social creatures by nature, and connecting with others is crucial for our mental and emotional wellbeing. If you find yourself feeling alone, reach out to someone. A simple conversation can make a world of difference.

Wrapping up: It’s about finding balance

Life, in all its complexity, is a delicate dance between survival and living. It’s about maintaining a careful balance between navigating the tough times and celebrating the good ones.

If you’ve identified with any of the signs we’ve discussed, remember that recognizing you’re in survival mode is the first step towards shifting gears. It’s about acknowledging where you are, but not resigning yourself to stay there.

The human brain is a remarkable organ, capable of incredible adaptability. It can learn new patterns, form new habits, and adjust to new circumstances.

So if you’re stuck in survival mode, take heart. It’s not a life sentence. With awareness and effort, you can shift from mere surviving to truly living. After all, life isn’t just meant to be endured—it’s meant to be enjoyed.

As the renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

So take that space, make your choice, and step towards a life beyond survival mode.

Picture of Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore is a psychologist based in Melbourne, with a passion for helping people build healthier relationships and navigate life’s emotional ups and downs. Her articles blend practical psychology with relatable insights, offering readers guidance on everything from communication skills to managing stress in everyday life. When Tara isn’t busy writing or working with clients, she loves to unwind by practicing yoga or trying her hand at pottery—anything that lets her get creative and stay mindful.

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