Navigating the world of online dating can feel like walking through a minefield. You never know when you might stumble upon a red flag that signals trouble.
Hi there, I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and your go-to relationship expert. I’ve seen it all when it comes to the tricky world of online dating.
Now, I don’t want you to tread lightly out of fear.
No, I want you to stride confidently, knowing exactly what red flags to look out for. And lucky for you, I’ve compiled a list of eight major ones to keep an eye on.
In this piece, we’ll dive into these warning signs, helping you steer clear of potential heartache.
Remember, knowledge is power in the digital dating game. Let’s get started, shall we?
1) Too good to be true
Ever heard the old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is”? Well, this adage holds particularly true in the realm of online dating.
We all have an ideal partner in mind, and when someone who ticks all those boxes suddenly appears in our inbox, it’s easy to get carried away.
But let’s take a moment and put on our detective hats. Is their profile picture flawless to the point of looking like a stock photo?
Do they shower you with compliments right off the bat? Does their life story read like a movie script?
These might all be signs that this person isn’t being completely honest about who they are.
While it can be exciting to meet someone who seems perfect, it’s important to stay grounded in reality.
Genuine people have flaws. They make mistakes and have bad days just like everyone else. It’s these imperfections that make us human and endearing.
If your potential match seems a little too picture-perfect, tread carefully. You don’t want to fall for an illusion.
2) They avoid answering personal questions
As a relationship expert, I firmly believe that open communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship.
So when it comes to online dating, someone dodging your questions or giving vague answers should be a red flag.
Does your match gloss over personal questions or change the subject when you ask about their job, friends or family?
This could be a sign that they’re hiding something, or they’re not serious about forming a genuine connection.
As the great Oscar Wilde once said, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
This quote rings especially true in online dating where, behind the anonymity of the screen, people should feel freer to express themselves.
If they’re still withholding information, it’s time to ask yourself why. Be cautious and remember, honesty is a vital part of any meaningful relationship.
3) They’re always unavailable
In my years of being a relationship expert, one thing I’ve learned is that actions speak louder than words.
If your online match is constantly busy, cancelling plans or simply vanishing for days at a time, it’s time to take notice.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
We all lead busy lives and unexpected things happen.
But consistent unavailability or flakiness is a different story.
In my book “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”, I talk about the importance of mutual effort in maintaining a healthy relationship.
If you’re always the one making the effort to connect and they’re not reciprocating, it might be time to rethink.
You deserve someone who prioritizes you and is excited to spend time with you. Don’t settle for less.
4) They agree with everything you say
Now, this might seem like a good thing on the surface. After all, who doesn’t want to be agreed with? But hear me out.
If your online match is always in agreement with your opinions and never challenges you, it’s time to raise an eyebrow.
While it’s great to share common views, a healthy relationship also thrives on diversity and respectful disagreement.
A person who never disagrees or expresses their own opinions could either be hiding their true self or trying too hard to please you. Both are red flags.
In a genuine relationship, both parties should feel free to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement.
You want a partner, not a parrot.
5) They’re always talking about their ex
We’ve all been there. You’re getting to know someone new, and suddenly they start sharing stories about their ex.
It’s natural to a degree, especially if they were a big part of their life.
But if it’s a constant topic of conversation, consider this a red flag.
Obsessing over an ex might indicate that they’re not over their past relationship and ready for a new one.
I remember once dating a charming man who kept comparing me to his ex-wife. It soon became evident that he wasn’t ready to move forward.
I learned the hard way that you can’t build a future with someone who’s still living in the past.
Keep your eyes open. You deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are, not as a comparison to someone else.
6) They’re disrespectful or rude
Now, let’s get real for a moment. This is a big one, and it’s something we shouldn’t even have to discuss.
But unfortunately, the online world can sometimes breed a sense of anonymity that emboldens people to act in ways they wouldn’t in person.
If your match is disrespectful, whether in their messages to you or in the way they talk about others, it’s a glaring red flag.
This could be anything from inappropriate comments, offensive jokes, or just plain rudeness.
Never excuse or overlook disrespect.
In the words of writer and civil rights activist Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” You deserve respect and kindness – don’t settle for less.
7) They pressure you for personal information
As someone who’s been in the online dating game, I can’t stress enough the importance of protecting your personal information.
If your match is pushing you to share personal details like your home address, workplace, or financial information, it’s not just a red flag – it’s a blaring siren.
In any relationship – online or off – trust is earned over time. Anyone trying to rush this process is worth questioning.
The late, great Albert Einstein once said, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”
If someone is pressuring you to step outside your comfort zone too soon, remember these wise words and proceed with caution.
8) They’re always the victim
This can be a tough one to spot, especially since we all have our fair share of life’s ups and downs.
But if your online match seems to always be on the receiving end of bad luck, it’s time to pay attention.
If they’re constantly playing the victim and refusing to take responsibility for their actions, it often indicates a lack of maturity and an inability to handle life’s challenges.
We’re all human and we all make mistakes. It’s how we learn and grow from these experiences that truly defines us.
Being with someone who can’t own up to their part in things can lead to a one-sided and emotionally draining relationship.
Don’t be afraid to trust your gut. You deserve a partner who’s able to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and accountability.
Wrapping it up
There you have it, folks. These are the eight major red flags to watch out for in the world of online dating.
Remember, knowledge is power – being aware of these signs can save you from potential heartache down the line.
We all deserve love and respect in our relationships, online or offline.
And if you’re looking for more insights on how to build healthy relationships, I invite you to check out my book “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”.
Your journey towards finding love should be exciting and fulfilling.
Don’t let these red flags scare you off from the online dating world. Instead, let them serve as tools to navigate more wisely and confidently. Happy dating!
