Ever catch your kid giving you *that look*—the one that says, “Seriously?” without them even needing to say a word? Yeah, me too. Turns out, our kids are way more observant than we give them credit for.
They notice everything: the little habits, the throwaway comments, even the things we do when we think no one’s paying attention.
And here’s the kicker—they’re quietly forming opinions about us based on those tiny details.
Sure, they love us (most of the time), but that doesn’t mean they’re not secretly rolling their eyes at certain things we do.
The stuff we think is no big deal? It’s totally on their radar.
What are these little things they’re silently judging us for? Let’s dive in—you might be surprised by what’s on the list.
1) Saying one thing but doing another
Kids are like little human lie detectors—they pick up on *everything*.
If you’re constantly preaching about the importance of healthy eating, then sneak cookies when you think no one’s looking, trust me, they’ve noticed. And they’re judging you for it.
It’s not just about food, either. Telling them to limit screen time while you scroll on your phone for hours or insisting they clean their room while your own space is a mess sends a mixed message.
Kids might not always say something, but they’re quietly filing it away as proof that your rules don’t apply to everyone (read: you).
The bottom line? Kids respect consistency. If your actions don’t match your words, they see right through it—and it chips away at their trust in what you say.
2) Overreacting to small mistakes
I’ll never forget the time my child spilled a cup of juice on the couch. It wasn’t a huge deal in hindsight—just one of those inevitable parenting moments—but in the heat of it, I lost my cool.
I let out an exaggerated sigh, followed by a “Why can’t you be more careful?” The look on their face immediately told me I’d overreacted.
Later that night, I overheard them telling their sibling, “Mom gets so mad about *everything*.” Ouch. That stung because it wasn’t true—at least, not in my mind.
But to them, my reaction to that one mistake felt way bigger than it needed to be, and they were quietly keeping score.
Kids make mistakes—it’s part of growing up. And when we blow things out of proportion, it sends the message that being imperfect isn’t okay.
I’m working on catching myself in those moments now, taking a deep breath before I respond.
Because even though they may not say anything in the moment, they’re absolutely judging how we handle theirs (and our own) slip-ups.
3) Being glued to your phone
Kids notice when you’re more focused on the screen in your hand than on them. Children can feel ignored or less important when their parents are constantly distracted by their phones, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
They might not say it outright, but every time you respond to an email during dinner or scroll through social media while they’re talking, they’re silently judging how much of your attention they actually have.
It’s not just about the moments you miss—it’s about what you’re modeling for them.
If you’re always on your phone, they start to see it as normal behavior, even if you’re the one setting limits on their screen time.
To them, it feels like a double standard, and they notice far more than we think.
4) Apologizing, but not meaning it
Kids are experts at reading tone and body language, and they can tell when your apology is less about genuine regret and more about just ending an argument or moving on quickly.
A half-hearted “Sorry, okay?” after snapping at them or a rushed “I said I’m sorry!” when you’ve been called out doesn’t go unnoticed. In fact, it can leave them feeling like their emotions aren’t being taken seriously.
Apologies are powerful because they teach kids how to own up to their mistakes—but only if they’re authentic.
When your words don’t match your actions or attitude, kids pick up on the disconnect and might start to question whether apologizing actually matters at all.
It’s not just about saying the words—it’s about showing that you mean them.
5) Comparing them to others
“Why can’t you be more like your sister?” It’s a question that slips out before you even realize the weight of it. But kids hear it loud and clear.
Every comparison—whether it’s to a sibling, a friend, or even yourself at their age—plants a seed of self-doubt.
It tells them they’re not measuring up, that who they are isn’t quite enough.
Even when the intention is to motivate or inspire, comparisons can backfire, making them feel unseen for their unique qualities.
And those words? They stick. Long after the moment has passed, they remember how it felt to be stacked up against someone else.
What they really want—what we all want—is to be valued for who they are, not who we think they should be.
6) Not following through on promises
“Sure, we’ll go to the park later.” “I promise I’ll help you with that after dinner.” It’s easy to throw out promises in the moment, especially when you’re trying to keep things moving.
But when “later” never comes or you forget what you said, your kids notice—even if they don’t bring it up.
To them, a broken promise isn’t just a missed activity; it’s a crack in trust. They may start to believe that your word doesn’t mean much, and that can have a bigger impact than you realize.
It doesn’t have to be big promises, either. Even the small ones—like playing that board game you said you’d play—matter just as much.
Following through shows them they’re a priority, and when we don’t, it’s something they quietly judge us for every time.
7) Not really listening
When your child is excitedly telling you a story about their day or asking you a question for the third time, and your response is a distracted “Uh-huh” without looking up, they notice.
They notice when your eyes are on a screen instead of on them.
They notice when your responses feel automatic and not engaged.
To them, not being listened to feels like they don’t matter as much as whatever else has your attention.
Those small moments add up, shaping how they see themselves and their importance in your world.
Listening isn’t just about hearing the words—it’s about being present.
Bottom line: They’re always watching
Whether it’s the way you handle mistakes, keep your promises, or balance your attention, your kids are taking mental notes.
They may not say it out loud, but they’re quietly observing your actions and learning from them every single day.
What they see shapes not only how they view you but also how they approach the world themselves.
Children don’t need perfection—they need presence, consistency, and authenticity.
These little moments you might dismiss as unimportant? To them, they’re everything.
The next time you catch yourself rushing through an apology or breaking a promise, pause. Because long after those moments pass, what stays with them is how you made them feel.
It’s a reminder that parenting isn’t about getting everything right—it’s about showing up and trying to be better, one small action at a time.
