Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Love, effort, and support should flow both ways—otherwise, something feels off.
I’ve been there before—feeling like I was the only one trying, the only one caring, the only one holding things together. It’s exhausting. And the worst part? It took me way too long to realize what was happening.
The truth is, one-sided relationships aren’t always obvious at first. But once you start noticing the signs, you can’t ignore them anymore. If any of these 8 red flags sound familiar, it might be time to take a step back—because something needs to change.
1) You’re always the one making plans
Ever feel like if you didn’t reach out first, you’d never hear from them? Like you’re the only one putting in the effort to keep the relationship going?
That’s a big red flag.
In a healthy relationship, both people want to spend time together and make an effort to connect.
But if you’re always the one texting first, setting up plans, or keeping conversations alive, it might be time to ask yourself—are they really invested, or are you just doing all the work?
Relationships should never feel one-sided. If they truly care, they’ll show it.
2) They only reach out when they need something
I used to convince myself that they cared. After all, they did text me—just not in the way I wanted.
Instead of checking in or making plans, their messages always had a purpose. Hey, can you help me with this? Are you free to do me a favor? I need advice on something.
At first, I didn’t mind. I liked being there for them. But over time, I started noticing a pattern—I was their go-to when they needed help, but when I needed support? Silence.
A real relationship—romantic or otherwise—is about mutual care and effort. If someone only shows up when it benefits them, they’re not really showing up for you.
3) You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them
Spending time with someone you care about should leave you feeling fulfilled, not exhausted.
But in a one-sided relationship, it’s often the opposite—you walk away feeling drained, like all your energy has been sucked out of you.
That’s because emotional labor is real. When one person is constantly giving—whether it’s offering support, listening, or making all the effort—it takes a toll.
Studies have shown that emotional exhaustion can be just as depleting as physical exhaustion, making it harder to focus, regulate emotions, and even take care of yourself.
If being around someone consistently leaves you feeling tired or unappreciated, it might be a sign that the relationship is out of balance.
4) They don’t celebrate your wins
When something good happens in your life, the people who truly care about you will be excited with you. They’ll cheer you on, hype you up, and make you feel like your success matters.
But in a one-sided relationship, your wins might be met with indifference—or worse, jealousy. Maybe they brush off your achievements, change the subject, or even make passive-aggressive comments that take the joy out of your moment.
A healthy relationship isn’t just about support during hard times—it’s also about celebrating the good ones. If someone can’t be happy for you, ask yourself: are they really on your team?
5) You feel like you’re walking on eggshells
I used to carefully choose my words around them, afraid that the wrong thing would set them off or make them pull away. It felt like no matter what I did, I had to be careful—as if the entire relationship depended on me keeping the peace.
That’s not how it should be. In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable being yourself, speaking openly, and expressing your thoughts without fear of upsetting the other person.
If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict or their disapproval, then something isn’t right. I learned the hard way that a relationship built on fear of rocking the boat isn’t really a relationship at all—it’s a trap.
6) You feel lonely even when you’re with them
You’d think that being in a relationship—whether it’s romantic, a friendship, or even family—would make you feel less alone. But sometimes, the loneliest place to be is right next to someone who doesn’t truly see you.
I’ve been in conversations where I felt invisible, like my words didn’t really matter. I’ve spent time with people who were physically there but emotionally distant. And let me tell you—being around someone who makes you feel alone is far worse than actually being alone.
A real connection should make you feel understood, valued, and appreciated. If you leave interactions feeling empty or unheard, it’s a sign that something is missing—and that something needs to change.
7) They make you feel guilty for having needs
In a healthy relationship, both people should feel safe expressing what they need—whether it’s more communication, emotional support, or simply some quality time together. But in a one-sided relationship, even the smallest request can somehow turn into a guilt trip.
Maybe they act annoyed when you ask for help. Maybe they make you feel like you’re being too much for wanting attention or reassurance. Or worse, they flip the situation and make you feel like the bad guy for bringing it up at all.
Your needs are not a burden. If someone truly cares about you, they won’t make you feel guilty for wanting to be valued in the relationship.
8) Deep down, you already know something is wrong
You can make excuses for them. You can tell yourself you’re overthinking, that things will get better, that you’re just being too sensitive. But if you constantly feel unappreciated, unheard, or emotionally exhausted, that feeling isn’t lying to you.
I’ve ignored that gut feeling before, convincing myself that if I just tried harder, things would change. They didn’t. Because a relationship—any relationship—shouldn’t require you to beg for basic care and effort.
If something feels off, it probably is. And you deserve better than that.
What you accept is what will continue
If you’ve read this far, chances are you’ve recognized at least some of these signs in your own relationships. And that’s not an easy thing to admit.
But here’s the truth—relationships shape the way we see ourselves. When you constantly give without receiving, it slowly teaches you that your needs, your feelings, and your effort don’t matter as much as they should. And that’s simply not true.
Psychologist and author Dr. Henry Cloud once said, “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.”
If this relationship is draining you, making you feel small, or leaving you lonely—it’s time for something to change. Because at the end of the day, what you accept is what will continue.
