Being a genuinely kind person often means bidding farewell to certain behaviors that can come off as unkind or even selfish.
Let me tell you, it’s not always easy. But if you’re committed to becoming kinder, you need to be aware of these habits and actively work on eliminating them.
Here are 8 habits that you need to say goodbye to if your goal is to become a kinder person.
1) Constant criticism
An essential step towards becoming kinder is curbing the habit of constant criticism.
We all have opinions and it can be tempting to pass judgment on everything we see. But when we do this, we often fail to consider the other person’s feelings.
Criticism, when not constructive, can be hurtful and damaging to relationships. It’s okay to express your thoughts and opinions but it’s equally important to do it in a way that doesn’t belittle or hurt others.
Becoming a kinder person means being considerate of others’ feelings and learning to express your views without making them feel inferior or attacked.
So, the first habit you need to say goodbye to is constant criticism. Replace it with understanding, empathy and constructive feedback. Trust me, this simple change can make a big difference in how people perceive you and how kind you seem.
2) Negativity
Another habit that can hinder your path to kindness is negativity. I’ve been there, and I know how tough it can be to shift your mindset.
A few years back, I found myself in a constant state of negativity. Whether it was judging someone’s actions, complaining about my circumstances, or focusing on the worst possible outcomes, I was always dwelling on the negative.
But then, I started practicing gratitude. Each day, I would write down three things I was thankful for. Gradually, I found my outlook changing. Instead of focusing on the negative, I started appreciating the positive.
This shift in mindset didn’t just make me happier; it also made me kinder. I was less judgmental, more understanding, and more positive in my interactions with others.
If you’re like me and often find yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, try practicing gratitude. It can be a game-changer in your journey to becoming a kinder person.
3) Ignoring other’s feelings
Empathy is a cornerstone of kindness. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When we ignore other’s feelings, it can come across as unkind and even selfish.
Did you know that humans are biologically wired to be empathetic? According to neuroscientists, our brains have something called mirror neurons. These special cells allow us to sense and even feel what others are experiencing.
So, when you ignore someone’s feelings, you’re not just being unkind, you’re also going against your natural instinct to empathize.
To become a kinder person, it’s essential to pay attention to other people’s emotions and respond with empathy and understanding.
4) Being self-centered
It’s natural to look out for ourselves and prioritize our needs. After all, self-care is essential. But there’s a difference between self-care and being self-centered.
Being absorbed in our own world to the point of disregarding others is a habit that doesn’t align with kindness.
True kindness involves stepping out of our self-focused bubble and taking interest in others. It’s about listening to their stories, understanding their perspectives, and being there for them.
To become a kinder person, make an effort to show genuine interest in others. Ask them about their day, their interests, their struggles. You’d be surprised at how much this simple act can mean to someone.
5) Lack of patience
We live in a fast-paced world where waiting is often seen as a waste of time. But in the rush to get things done, we often forget the value of patience.
Patience is a virtue that goes hand-in-hand with kindness. It’s about understanding that things take time and people make mistakes. It’s about giving people the space to learn and grow at their own pace without rushing them or making them feel inadequate.
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of impatience, you know how it feels. It can make you feel small and insignificant. On the other hand, when someone shows patience, it can make you feel valued and respected.
If your aim is to become kinder, patience is a habit you need to cultivate. It’s not just about waiting; it’s about how you wait and how you treat people in the process. Remember, a little patience can go a long way in showing kindness.
6) Holding onto grudges
This is a tough one for me.
I’ve always found it hard to let go of past hurts and disappointments. But over time, I realized that holding onto grudges was like carrying a heavy weight around my neck, slowing me down and keeping me from moving forward.
Holding onto resentment doesn’t just affect our peace of mind; it also affects our ability to be kind to others. When we’re consumed by past hurts, we often project our pain onto others, sometimes without even realizing it.
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened or saying that it was okay. It’s about choosing to let go of the resentment and pain for your own peace and well-being.
To become a kinder person, you need to learn to forgive. Not just others, but also yourself. It can be hard, but it’s a crucial step towards becoming a kinder, more compassionate person.
7) Failing to listen
In a world where everyone wants to be heard, listening has become a rare skill. But it’s a skill that’s integral to kindness.
Listening isn’t just about being quiet while someone else talks. It’s about giving them your full attention, making them feel heard and valued. It’s about understanding their perspective and responding in a thoughtful, respectful manner.
When we fail to listen, we miss out on the chance to connect with others on a deeper level. We also risk coming off as unkind or dismissive.
So, if you want to be kinder, make an effort to truly listen when someone else is speaking. Show them that their words matter. You’ll be surprised at how much this small act can make someone feel appreciated and valued.
8) Lack of self-kindness
The most important habit to break for becoming kinder, is the lack of kindness towards oneself.
Often, we’re our own harshest critics. We judge ourselves more harshly than we would ever judge others. But how can we be kind to others if we can’t even be kind to ourselves?
Self-kindness means treating yourself with the same compassion, respect, and understanding you would offer to others. It’s about acknowledging that you’re human, and like all humans, you’re bound to make mistakes and have flaws.
Remember, kindness begins with you. If you want to become a kinder person, start by being kind to yourself.
At the heart of it: Kindness is a choice
The journey towards becoming a kinder person is deeply personal and unique to each of us. It’s about more than just changing habits; it’s about making a conscious choice to be kind, every day, in every situation.
There’s a quote by Henry James that captures this beautifully: “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
Kindness isn’t about grand gestures or heroic acts. It’s about the small, everyday choices we make. It’s about how we treat others, how we treat ourselves, and most importantly, how we choose to react when things don’t go our way.
So as you ponder on these eight habits and consider which ones resonate most with you, remember this: Kindness is a choice. And it’s a choice that begins with you.
