Wondering if your day-to-day actions might be quietly chipping away at the trust and respect people once had for you?
We all make mistakes, but sometimes, those small, seemingly innocent habits can slowly create a rift in our relationships—both personal and professional. Over the years, working as a relationship counselor, I’ve seen how these subtle behaviors can snowball into bigger issues.
Let’s talk about seven of the most common ones.
01 Gossiping about others behind their backs
How often do you find yourself sharing a story that isn’t yours to tell?
Even if it’s done in a lighthearted way, gossip tends to erode confidence and loyalty because the people around you start wondering if you’ll talk about them too.
As Stephen Covey once said, “Trust is the glue of life.” And gossip is an easy way to dissolve that glue without even noticing.
It might feel gratifying in the moment—especially when you’re venting to a friend. But over time, gossip is a neon sign to others that you can’t be relied upon with sensitive information.
If you do need to talk through an issue, do so discreetly with a trusted confidant or a professional, not just anyone within earshot.
02 Being chronically late or disorganized
Being consistently late or disorganized might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, it chips away at how reliable and considerate you appear to others.
Imagine making plans with a friend, only for them to always show up 15 minutes late—eventually, you’d start feeling like your time doesn’t matter to them, right? The same goes for missing deadlines at work or forgetting important events in your personal life.
It’s not just about keeping a schedule; it’s about showing respect. People trust those who follow through, and when they can’t count on you to be on time or stay organized, that trust erodes little by little.
Punctuality or organization isn’t your strong suit? Try small changes—set reminders, plan ahead, and acknowledge the impact your habits have on others. A little effort goes a long way in maintaining respect and reliability.
03 Making promises you can’t keep
This is a big one.
I recall an old friend who used to promise the world—career connections, grand favors, you name it. He was a kind person, but he rarely followed through. Eventually, people (myself included) stopped relying on him for anything substantial.
Empty promises can be fatal to how people perceive you. It’s far better to commit to less and come through than to repeatedly over-promise and under-deliver.
As advised by businessman Anthony Hitt, “Keep every promise you make and only make promises you can keep.” Even though it might feel good to say “yes” all the time, it’s vital to be realistic about what you can genuinely provide.
04 Constantly criticizing or judging
You might have read my post on embracing positive communication—and this still stands, criticism done right can be constructive.
But when all you do is point out flaws or judge others harshly, it becomes hurtful, not helpful. Even if your intentions are good, too much negativity creates an atmosphere of tension and defensiveness.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be honest; it just means you strive for empathy in your approach. If people start associating you with criticism instead of support or kindness, their respect and trust inevitably wane.
05 Avoiding accountability
Ever catch yourself shifting the blame when something goes wrong?
I’ve seen countless relationships unravel when one party refuses to take ownership of their mistakes.
The irony is, the more we dodge accountability, the bigger the mess becomes. When you learn to say, “I messed up,” you not only show humility, you also communicate that you value transparency.
And that, my friends, goes a long way in preserving trust.
06 Being passive-aggressive
There’s little more irritating than dealing with someone who won’t say what they actually mean, right?
Well, if you said “yes,” you’re not alone. Harvard researcher Amy Gallo actually defined passive-aggressive individuals as some of the most difficult people to deal with in a CNBC post.
Maybe it’s the coworker who agrees to help with a project but deliberately drags their feet. Or the friend who says “I’m fine” when they’re clearly upset, then gives you the cold shoulder for days.
Passive-aggression creates confusion, frustration, and—over time—a lack of trust.
At its core, this behavior is a way to express resentment or displeasure without directly addressing the issue. And while it might feel like avoiding conflict in the moment, it actually breeds more of it in the long run.
Instead of bottling things up or resorting to sarcasm, try being upfront about your feelings. A simple, “Hey, I was actually upset about that,” is far more effective than making someone guess what’s wrong.
Trust me, clear communication fosters respect.
07 Lying, even about small stuff
Last but not last, we often think little white lies are harmless, but they can add up.
If someone catches you lying about the small stuff, they start wondering if you’re also lying about the big stuff.
When you choose honesty—yes, even when it’s uncomfortable—you show people they can count on you to tell it like it is. And that sincerity is priceless.
Final thoughts
Each of these habits may seem trivial on its own, but they have a cumulative effect on how people view and trust you.
It’s about awareness and consistency. Whether it’s cutting down on gossip, taking responsibility for your actions, or simply being more honest, making small changes in these areas can rebuild and fortify the trust and respect you may be unintentionally whittling away.
Here’s to keeping our relationships healthy—one respectful choice at a time!
