Remember that old saying, “You are your own worst critic”?
Well, there’s a lot of truth to it.
We often judge ourselves harshly, comparing ourselves to others and measuring our worth against society’s standards. It’s a common trap many of us fall into without even realizing it.
But here’s the catch.
When you start outsourcing your self-worth – letting others dictate how valuable you feel – you’re setting yourself up for a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
It can leave you feeling deflated, devalued, and stripped of your self-esteem.
Now, you might be thinking, “I don’t do that!” But the reality is, it’s not always easy to spot when you’re outsourcing your self-worth.
So, let’s dive in.
In this article, we’re going to explore seven revealing signs that you’re outsourcing your self-worth without even knowing it. By recognizing these patterns, you can start reclaiming your intrinsic value and stop letting others define your worth.
So gear up for some serious introspection. It’s time to take back control of your self-worth and steer the ship on your own terms!
1) You constantly seek approval
Here’s the first sign: you’re always seeking validation or approval from others.
It’s natural to want to be liked and appreciated, but when your sense of self-worth is entirely tied to what others think of you, that’s a problem.
Ask yourself this.
Do you find yourself changing your behavior, opinions, or appearance based on what you think will please others? Do you feel a need for constant praise and affirmation to feel good about yourself?
If your answer is yes, then you might be outsourcing your self-worth.
Remember.
Your value shouldn’t be contingent on the opinions of others. It’s an internal metric, one that should be defined by you and only you! It’s time to start viewing yourself through your own lens, not someone else’s.
2) You’re preoccupied with social media “likes”
This one hits a little close to home for me.
I remember a time when I would constantly check my phone for social media notifications. Each “like” or “comment” on my posts gave me a temporary boost of happiness, a sense of being liked and accepted.
But here’s what happened.
One day, I posted a picture I was particularly proud of but didn’t receive as many likes as I anticipated. I felt disappointed, even upset. It took me a while to realize that I was tying my self-worth to the number of likes and comments on my social media posts.
Does this sound familiar?
If you find yourself checking your social media feeds obsessively or feeling down when your posts don’t get as many likes as you’d hoped, it may be a sign that you’re outsourcing your self-worth to these digital platforms.
Remember, your worth is not defined by the number of likes or followers on your social media profiles. You are more than a digital statistic!
3) You’re a people-pleaser
I’ve got a confession to make.
I used to be a chronic people-pleaser. I’d go out of my way to accommodate others, sometimes at the expense of my own needs and desires. I thought that by always saying “yes”, I’d be more liked, more valued.
But here’s what I didn’t realize.
In my quest to please everyone, I was inadvertently outsourcing my self-worth. I was letting other people’s needs and opinions dictate my value and happiness.
So, let me ask you this.
Do you often find yourself bending over backwards to keep others happy? Are you afraid to set boundaries or say no because you fear it might upset someone?
If so, it’s time for a reality check.
Your worth is not determined by how much you can do for others or how accommodating you can be. You have the right to prioritize your needs without feeling guilty or less valuable.
4) You measure your success against others
Ever caught yourself thinking, “If only I could be as successful as them”?
Let’s face it. We live in a competitive world where success is often measured by comparison. It’s easy to fall into the trap of evaluating our own worth based on how we stack up against others.
If you find yourself obsessively comparing your achievements, possessions, or status to others’, you might be outsourcing your self-worth.
But here’s the truth.
Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own. Your worth isn’t a race or a competition. It’s okay to strive for success, but it’s crucial to define what success means for you personally, not based on someone else’s standards or achievements.
Remember, your self-worth is about appreciating who you are as an individual, not how you compare to others.
5) You’re overly self-critical
We all know that voice in our head, the one that nitpicks every tiny mistake and magnifies our flaws. While a bit of self-reflection is healthy, too much self-criticism can be damaging.
In fact, research shows that people who are highly self-critical tend to have lower self-esteem and are more prone to depression.
So, if you find yourself constantly belittling your achievements, focusing on your mistakes, or ignoring your positive qualities, you might be outsourcing your self-worth.
You are essentially letting that critical inner voice dictate how valuable you feel.
It’s time to challenge that voice. Instead of focusing on your flaws, start acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments. Your worth is not defined by your mistakes or shortcomings, but by your unique qualities and achievements.
6) You feel unworthy of good things
Sometimes, we hold ourselves back from pursuing the things we want, not because we can’t achieve them, but because deep down we feel we don’t deserve them.
It’s a tough feeling to grapple with.
Maybe you’ve turned down opportunities because you thought you weren’t good enough. Or perhaps you’ve ended relationships because you believed you didn’t deserve to be loved.
If this resonates with you, it could be a sign you’re outsourcing your self-worth.
But let me tell you something important.
You are deserving of every good thing that comes your way. You deserve to be loved, respected, and successful.
It’s okay to aspire for more and accept the good that comes your way without feeling guilty or unworthy.
Your self-worth is intrinsic and is not dependent on what you do or don’t have. It’s about recognizing and accepting your inherent value just as you are.
7) You feel incomplete alone
Here’s perhaps the most crucial sign: feeling incomplete when you’re alone.
If your sense of value and happiness depends on being in a relationship or being surrounded by people, it’s likely that you’re outsourcing your self-worth.
The truth is, being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely or less valuable. It’s important to be comfortable with who you are as an individual, independent of others.
Your worth isn’t determined by your relationship status or the number of friends you have. You are complete, just as you are.
Wrapping up
If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these signs, don’t despair.
Understanding that you’re outsourcing your self-worth is the first step towards reclaiming it. Remember, it’s a process and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.
Self-awareness is your most potent weapon.
Start by observing your thoughts and actions. Notice when you’re seeking validation or comparing yourself to others. Acknowledge when you’re being overly self-critical or feeling undeserving.
It’s not about berating yourself for these behaviors, but rather recognizing them as they arise.
Now, here’s the important part.
You have the power to redefine your self-worth. It starts with realizing that you are enough – just as you are. Your worth isn’t tied to what others think of you or how you compare to them.
Your value comes from within, from your unique qualities, skills, and experiences.
So begin to cultivate a loving relationship with yourself. Speak kindly to yourself. Celebrate your achievements, big or small.
Embrace your imperfections – they make you human.
Remember, no one else can define your worth for you. It’s a journey only you can navigate.
So, take a moment to reflect on this: what steps can you start taking today to reclaim your self-worth?
How can you begin to view yourself through a lens of love and acceptance?
The journey may feel challenging at times but trust me, it’s worth it. Because at the end of the day, there’s nothing more empowering than owning your worth and living authentically.
