Being authentic is more than just being true to yourself, it’s about embracing who you are, flaws and all.
But often, people struggle with authenticity, unknowingly displaying behaviors that contradict their true selves.
This goes beyond mere pretense or social masks. It’s about the internal conflict that arises when we’re disconnected from our core values and identity.
These behaviors can be subtle, easily mistaken as quirks or personal eccentricities.
But they often point towards a deeper struggle – the struggle to truly be oneself.
Let’s delve into these behaviors that might indicate someone is having difficulty being authentic, even if they’re not aware of it.
1) Over-reliance on external validation
Ever noticed how some people are eager to please others, often at their own expense? This is a common behavior among those who struggle with authenticity.
Individuals who aren’t true to themselves often seek validation and approval from outside sources.
They may constantly look for feedback or praise, hoping that others’ opinions will validate their worth.
This can manifest in different ways, from an over-reliance on social media likes to compulsively seeking out reassurance in relationships.
The root of this behavior lies in the disconnect between one’s external persona and internal self.
When you’re not being authentic, you’re essentially living for others, allowing their opinions to dictate your actions and decisions.
This reliance on external validation is a way of compensating for the lack of self-belief or self-love.
However, this is a tiring and unfulfilling path, as it’s impossible to please everyone all the time.
The key to overcoming this behavior is through cultivating self-awareness and embracing the inherent worth that lies within each one of us, independent of external validation.
2) Hiding their true feelings
Have you ever been around someone who always seems to be in a good mood, never expressing any negative emotions?
While it may seem like they’re just incredibly positive, this could be a sign they’re not being authentic.
People who find it hard to be themselves often suppress their true emotions, for fear of being judged or rejected.
They put on a brave face, even when they’re feeling down, creating an illusion of perpetual happiness.
This avoidance of negative emotions is not just unhealthy, it’s unauthentic.
In my own journey towards authenticity, I’ve found that acknowledging and expressing my true feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, is crucial. It’s okay to not be okay all the time.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
This acceptance includes our emotions, in all their complexity and variety. By honoring our feelings, we move closer to being our authentic selves.
3) Constantly changing their opinions
People who aren’t being true to themselves often have a hard time sticking to their own opinions.
They may quickly change their viewpoints to align with those of the people around them, even if it contradicts what they previously believed.
This behavior stems from a fear of being judged or rejected for having different beliefs.
Those struggling with authenticity may feel it’s safer to agree with others than to stand firm in their own convictions.
This isn’t about healthy open-mindedness where one is willing to reconsider their opinion when presented with new information.
Instead, it’s about altering one’s viewpoint solely to fit in or be accepted, which can lead to a loss of personal identity and authenticity.
In my video on embracing feeling like an imposter, I delve into this issue and the importance of standing firm in your beliefs, even when it feels uncomfortable.
As the famed writer and philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Embracing our unique perspectives is a key step towards becoming more authentic.
4) Avoiding difficult conversations
One of the most telling signs of a lack of authenticity is the avoidance of difficult conversations.
People who aren’t comfortable being themselves often dread confrontations or discussions that might rock the boat.
They would rather keep things superficial and harmonious, even if it means not addressing important issues.
This behavior is driven by a fear of conflict and a desire to maintain a certain image.
It’s easier to agree, to stay silent, or to gloss over problems than to voice opinions that might lead to disagreement or discomfort.
However, avoiding difficult conversations can lead to resentment, misunderstandings, and a lack of deep, meaningful relationships.
It’s only by facing these challenging discussions that we can truly connect with others on an authentic level.
In line with my belief in the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth, I see these conversations as opportunities.
They are chances for us to express our true feelings, understand others better, and foster more genuine connections.
As the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers stated, “What is most personal is most universal.” Our individual experiences, thoughts and emotions are what connect us to others.
By embracing difficult conversations, we allow ourselves to be seen in our full humanity – vulnerable, flawed, yet deeply authentic.
5) Overemphasis on material success
People struggling with authenticity often place an excessive emphasis on material success.
They believe that status symbols, wealth, and outward achievements will bring them happiness and validation.
The pursuit of these external markers of success often comes at the cost of their inner peace and fulfillment.
Instead of aligning their life with their deepest values, they chase after what they believe society deems important.
As someone who believes in prosperity as an alignment of our financial decisions with our deepest values, I see this chase for material success as a deviation from authenticity.
True prosperity isn’t just about accumulating wealth but about cultivating a sense of purpose, creativity, and ethical participation in the economy.
Overemphasis on material success is a clear sign that one is not living authentically. It shows a disconnect from one’s true values and an overreliance on external validation.
To address this issue, we need to redefine what success means to us personally.
It’s about embracing our unique path and making choices that are in harmony with our core values. This shift in perspective can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.
In my video about personal freedom hacks, I delve deeper into this topic. I share my experiences with redefining success and discuss how doing so has significantly improved my life.
Remember the wise words of philosopher Socrates: “He who is not a good servant will not be a good master.”
The same applies to our relationship with money and wealth. Only by serving our true selves can we master our financial decisions and find authentic prosperity.
6) Overly rigid self-perception
It might seem paradoxical, but having a rigid, unchanging perception of oneself can actually be a sign of inauthenticity.
People who have a hard time being themselves often cling to a fixed idea of who they are, resisting change or growth.
This rigid self-perception is often based on past experiences or labels assigned by others.
For instance, someone might identify strongly as a ‘successful businessperson’, refusing to explore other facets of their personality or consider different paths.
However, true authenticity involves embracing our multifaceted nature and being open to growth and change.
It’s about recognizing that we are not static beings but constantly evolving individuals shaped by our experiences, relationships, and personal introspections.
This belief aligns with my conviction that creativity is the essence of our humanity. Every challenge we face is an opportunity to tap into our creative potential and find innovative solutions.
Rigid self-perception limits this creativity and stifles our potential for growth.
Adopting a more flexible self-perception allows us to fully express ourselves and truly be authentic. It encourages us to explore different aspects of our identity and to continually learn and grow as individuals.
As psychologist Carl Jung said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Embracing this fluidity is a significant step towards living authentically.
7) Fear of being alone
A common behavior among those who struggle with authenticity is the fear of being alone.
They continuously seek company, even if it means spending time with people who don’t align with their values or make them feel good about themselves.
This fear goes beyond the natural human need for connection. It’s about using others as a distraction from dealing with oneself.
When we’re not comfortable being ourselves, we often find it difficult to spend time alone, as it forces us to confront our true selves.
However, spending quality time alone is crucial for self-discovery and personal growth.
It provides us with the space to reflect on our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs without external influences.
It’s during these moments of solitude that we can truly connect with ourselves and foster authenticity.
As someone who believes in the profound importance of self-awareness, I see solitude not as something to fear but as an opportunity for personal growth.
As philosopher Blaise Pascal put it, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Overcoming the fear of solitude allows us to face ourselves honestly and move toward authentic living.
The Journey Towards Authenticity
Understanding and embracing authenticity is more than just identifying behaviors or patterns.
It’s a journey, a continuous process of self-discovery and personal growth.
It’s about confronting our fears, challenging our limiting beliefs, and cultivating self-compassion.
It involves acknowledging our flaws, celebrating our strengths, and accepting ourselves just as we are.
While the behaviors we’ve discussed can provide valuable insights into whether we’re living authentically, they’re simply signposts on the path to authenticity.
They serve as reminders to check-in with ourselves, to realign our actions with our values, and to embrace our individuality.
At the core of authentic living is the fundamental belief in our inherent worth.
It’s about recognizing that we don’t need external validation or approval to feel good about ourselves. We are enough, just as we are.
As the renowned author and speaker Brené Brown puts it, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
This practice can be challenging and uncomfortable, but it’s also incredibly liberating.
So let’s embark on this journey towards authenticity. Let’s embrace our true selves, in all their complexity and beauty.
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