People who are likely to betray your trust often show these 8 early warning signs

One of the most challenging things to handle in life is trust betrayal.

You extend your trust to someone, always believing in their goodness, but then it suddenly hits you – they’re not as trustworthy as you thought.

You’ve tried to ignore the signs, brushed them off as mere coincidences or misinterpretations, but they keep popping up.

It’s not always overly conspicuous.

You might just sense a niggling doubt creeping in, despite your mind, heart or gut pleading otherwise.

Here’s how to identify the early warning signals that someone is likely to betray your trust, even if acknowledging them might sting. 

1. They’re constantly inconsistent

Trust is often built on the foundation of consistency.

Consistency in actions, words, and behaviours.

But what if the person you trust shows frequent inconsistencies?

You might notice a mismatch between their words and actions, or that their behaviour varies drastically depending on who they’re with or where they are.

This isn’t about occasional forgetfulness or mood swings – we’re all human, after all. It’s about a regular pattern of inconsistencies that leaves you feeling uneasy.

If you’re constantly left questioning what’s real and what’s not, it could be a strong sign that this person is likely to betray your trust. It might be hard to accept, but acknowledging this early warning sign could save you from more hurt in the long run.

2. They’re often dismissive of your feelings

One of the things that can seriously erode trust is when someone constantly dismisses your feelings or concerns.

It’s when you share something that’s bothering you and they brush it off, belittle it, or make you feel like you’re overreacting.

I experienced this with a friend once. I noticed he would often cancel our plans at the last minute without any explanation or apology.

I brought up how it made me feel disrespected and unimportant, but he simply laughed it off, saying I was being too sensitive.

Repeated experiences like this can be a clear warning sign. 

3. They consistently prioritize their needs over yours

Famed psychologist and author Dr. Phil McGraw once said, “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

This quote rings especially true when it comes to trust.

Let’s say you’re dealing with someone who always puts their needs first, often at your expense.

They might cancel plans to do something more beneficial for them, dismiss your feelings or concerns, or make decisions without considering how they might affect you.

This was something I noticed with a former colleague. Meetings would be rescheduled last minute to suit her, leaving the rest of us scrambling to adjust.

Our shared tasks would somehow always end up being my sole responsibility while she took on the more ‘glamorous’ parts of the project.

These are not one-off instances but a pattern of behavior that points towards their tendency to put themselves first, even if it betrays your trust in them. 

4. They’re secretive about their past

According to some studies, individuals who are secretive about their past are more likely to betray trust in the future.

This doesnโ€™t mean that being private is a problem; many people prefer to keep certain details to themselves.

However, thereโ€™s a difference between healthy boundaries and active avoidance of specific topics, such as previous relationships, work history, or personal experiences.

When someone habitually avoids sharing parts of their past without explanation, it could indicate unresolved issues or patterns of behavior they donโ€™t want others to know about.

5. They lack empathy for others

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a vital component in any trusting relationship.

Imagine you’re dealing with someone who seems indifferent to the feelings or situations of others.

They might make harsh comments about people who are struggling or be dismissive of others’ emotions.

I recall a time when I was dealing with a family crisis, and a supposed friend showed no understanding or compassion.

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Instead, she trivialized my situation and showed more interest in going out for drinks than offering support.

Such lack of empathy can be an early warning sign that this person may betray your trust. After all, if they can’t empathize with others’ struggles, can they truly respect your feelings or appreciate the trust you’ve placed in them? 

6. They frequently break promises

Promises act as verbal contracts of trust. When someone consistently fails to honor their commitments, it raises concerns about their reliability and respect for others.

This could involve small promises, like showing up on time or following through on a favor, or larger commitments like keeping confidence or meeting critical deadlines.

Consistent failure in these areas can erode trust over time and may signal that the person is not dependable.

Trust is built on consistent actions, so repeated broken promises can be a clear red flag.

7. They have a history of lying

One of the most direct signs that someone is likely to betray your trust is if they have a history of lying.

Think about someone who has lied to you or others multiple times. It might be about small things that seem insignificant, or it could be about big matters.

I once knew a person who had a habit of telling white lies. At first, I dismissed these as harmless. But over time, the lies grew in magnitude and frequency. Eventually, I found myself doubting everything they said.

This was a lesson learned the hard way, but the moral of the story is if someone shows you their true colors, believe them. 

8. They deflect responsibility and blame others

One of the most significant signs of someone likely to betray your trust is their tendency to avoid responsibility and shift blame onto others.

This behavior often includes refusing to admit mistakes, always having an excuse, or redirecting criticism to deflect accountability. Over time, this pattern damages trust because it reveals a lack of integrity and unwillingness to address personal shortcomings.

If you notice someone consistently refusing to own up to their actions or blaming others for their mistakes, itโ€™s worth considering how their behavior might affect your ability to trust them in the long term. Spotting this habit early can help you safeguard your trust and relationships.

Reflecting on trust

Navigating trust issues can be a daunting path. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. But know this – your intuition is a powerful tool, and these early warning signs are its language.

Pay attention to these signs – the inconsistencies, dismissiveness, self-centered behaviors, secretiveness, lack of empathy, broken promises, lies, and deflection of responsibility. They are not just fleeting moments, but patterns that indicate a potential trust betrayal.

Remember, you deserve relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and above all, trust. And sometimes, acknowledging these signs is the first step towards cultivating such relationships.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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