When you look in the mirror, you probably see yourself. But what you may not realize is how much your self-perception is influenced by tiny, seemingly insignificant choices you make every day.
Believe it or not, there are 8 micro-decisions that shape your self-esteem without you even noticing.
These subtle choices we make, often without thinking, can build us up or tear us down. And the tricky part? We don’t even realize we’re doing it.
But hey, that’s the nature of human complexity, right? Navigating the mind can be a bit like wandering through a maze blindfolded. But some of us manage to find our way a little easier than others.
Ever wondered why? Well, stick around. You’re about to find out.
1) The decision to compare
Here’s something we all do without even realizing it – comparing ourselves to others. It’s automatic, almost a reflex.
You see someone on social media, looking successful and happy, and before you know it, you’re feeling down about your own life. You’re comparing your reality to their highlight reel, which is hardly fair or accurate.
Comparing is a slippery slope that can quickly eat away at your self-esteem. You start to question your worth, your achievements and your journey.
But remember this: everyone has their own unique path in life. And just because someone else seems to be ahead doesn’t mean you’re falling behind.
So next time you catch yourself comparing, take a step back. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and instead of comparing, focus on embracing your own path.
Easier said than done, right? But hey, the first step to change is awareness. So now that you know, you’re already a step ahead.
2) The decision to apologize
This one hit me hard, and it took me a while to even realize I was doing it. I was constantly apologizing for everything, even when it wasn’t needed.
Spill a cup of coffee? “Sorry.” Someone bumped into me? “Sorry.” Running late because of traffic? “Sorry.”
But here’s the thing: excessive apologizing undermines your confidence and gives the impression that you’re always at fault. It’s like you’re constantly seeking validation that you’re okay, that you’re still accepted despite your perceived flaws.
I had to consciously decide to stop this habit. I realized I was apologizing not because I was wrong but because I was scared of letting people down or causing inconvenience. But it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to be human.
Now, instead of saying sorry for things out of my control, I say ‘thank you’. Like ‘Thank you for waiting’ instead of ‘Sorry I’m late’. This small decision made a big difference in how I perceive myself and how others perceive me.
3) The decision to say ‘yes’
Did you know that the word ‘yes’ can be a double-edged sword? On one side, it opens doors to new opportunities, experiences, and relationships. But on the flip side, it can lead to over-commitment, stress, and decreased self-esteem.
When you constantly say ‘yes’ to others, you might be saying ‘no’ to yourself. You end up spreading yourself too thin, leaving little time for self-care and personal growth.
The key is balance. Saying ‘yes’ when it aligns with your values and priorities, and learning to respectfully decline when it doesn’t.
This subtle shift in decision-making can empower you and significantly boost your self-esteem.
4) The decision to self-criticize
We all have an inner critic, that little voice in our head that loves to point out our flaws and mistakes. And let’s be honest, it can be pretty harsh.
You mess up a presentation at work, and your inner critic is quick to label you as incompetent. You stumble over your words on a date, and suddenly you’re the most awkward person alive.
Here’s the thing: this constant self-criticism can seriously dent your self-esteem.
But what if you could turn this critic into a cheerleader? What if, instead of berating yourself for a mistake, you acknowledged it, learned from it, and moved on?
Switching from self-criticism to self-compassion may seem like a small decision, but trust me, it can make a world of difference to your self-esteem.
5) The decision to seek perfection
I’ll be the first to admit it: I used to be a perfectionist. I thought that if I could do everything perfectly, I’d be happy, successful, and appreciated. Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Chasing after perfection left me feeling exhausted, frustrated, and never good enough. Even my successes weren’t satisfying because I’d immediately focus on what I could’ve done better.
One day, I decided to let go of this unrealistic standard. I realized that it’s okay not to be perfect. In fact, it’s human.
I learned to celebrate my progress, no matter how small. I learned to appreciate the journey, not just the destination. And most importantly, I learned that my self-worth is not defined by my ability to achieve perfection.
This decision was a game-changer for me. It relieved so much pressure and significantly boosted my self-esteem. And trust me, if a former perfectionist like me can do it, so can you.
6) The decision to avoid risks
It’s human nature to seek comfort and avoid risks. We love the familiar and shy away from the unknown. But here’s a peculiar twist: continuously playing it safe can actually harm your self-esteem.
When you always stay within your comfort zone, you miss out on growth opportunities. You limit your experiences and potential achievements, which can lead to feelings of stagnation and self-doubt.
Taking calculated risks, on the other hand, can be incredibly empowering. Even if you fail, you learn. You grow. And that in itself is a victory.
So next time you’re faced with a risk, don’t automatically shy away. Consider the potential benefits alongside the potential drawbacks. You might be surprised at how much your self-esteem can grow from stepping into the unknown.
7) The decision to neglect self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner. We often prioritize everything else – work, family, friends – over our own wellbeing. But this decision can quietly erode our self-esteem.
When you neglect self-care, you’re indirectly sending yourself a message that your needs are not important. Over time, this can lead to burnout and feelings of low self-worth.
On the flip side, prioritizing self-care signals respect and love for oneself. It’s a celebration of your worthiness and a commitment to your wellbeing.
Whether it’s taking a few minutes for mindfulness, enjoying a healthy meal, or saying no to an extra workload to protect your peace – these small acts of self-care can go a long way in boosting your self-esteem.
8) The decision to base self-worth on external validation
Here’s the big one: basing your self-worth on external validation. This is a quick path to shaky self-esteem because it places your value in the hands of others.
When you rely on compliments, successes, and social approval to feel good about yourself, you’re setting up a fragile foundation for your self-esteem. It becomes dependent on factors outside your control.
Remember, your worth is not determined by how others see you, but by how you see yourself. Your self-esteem should come from within, from acknowledging and appreciating your intrinsic value as a human being.
This internal shift in perspective can make all the difference. It can lead to a stronger, more resilient self-esteem that no external factor can shake.
Reflecting on your micro-decisions
If you’ve journeyed with me through these eight points, you’ll have grasped a profound truth: your self-esteem is not shaped by grand, life-altering decisions alone. Instead, it’s the sum of countless micro-decisions you make every day.
These choices might seem insignificant in isolation, but together they form the tapestry of our self-perception. They subtly influence how we view ourselves, how we navigate our relationships, and ultimately, how we experience life.
And here’s the empowering part: once you’re aware of these micro-decisions, you have the power to change them.
You can choose to compare less, to say ‘yes’ wisely, to silence your inner critic, and to value yourself irrespective of external validation.
Remember this: Your self-worth is not a product of circumstance but a choice – a series of small, everyday choices. So as you go about your day, be mindful of these micro-decisions.
Because each one is a stepping stone on the path to a healthier self-esteem.
