There’s a common thread that ties together men who are known to be kind and humble. It’s not just their actions, but their inherent qualities that set them apart.
I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast.
I’ve spent a fair bit of time observing these rare breeds of men. What I’ve noticed is that they often display these qualities without even realizing it.
In this article, I’ll be sharing 9 distinct qualities that make these men stand out.
So whether you’re looking to better understand the kind and humble men in your life or aiming to cultivate these traits within yourself, you’re in the right place.
We’ll dive into these qualities that aren’t just admirable, but are rare and often go unnoticed.
So let’s peel back the layers and understand what makes these unique men tick.
1) They practice active listening
Kind and humble men don’t just hear; they actively listen.
Active listening is a rare quality that goes beyond simply hearing the words spoken by others. It involves truly understanding, empathizing, and responding in a way that shows genuine interest and respect for what someone is saying.
These men have the ability to make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room because they genuinely value your perspective.
They donโt interrupt, they donโt give unsolicited advice, they just listen. They give their full attention, even if it’s just a casual conversation.
When someone feels heard, they feel valued. And when they feel valued, they’re more likely to open up, trust, and build a deeper connection.
This isn’t about manipulation; it’s about fostering authentic relationships.
In the words of famous psychologist Carl Rogers: “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”
2) They value humility over ego
I’ve encountered many people throughout my life. But the ones who have left the most profound impact on me are those who chose humility over ego.
I remember a meeting with a CEO of a successful start-up. Despite his accomplishments, he was incredibly humble.
He didn’t talk about his success or achievements. Instead, he spent most of the meeting asking about my experiences, my perspectives, and my aspirations.
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This showed me that he valued learning from others more than boasting about his own success.
His humility allowed him to keep growing, keep learning, and keep improving. It was a powerful lesson about the strength of humility over ego.
As C.S. Lewis once said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
And that’s exactly how these kind and humble men operate.
3) They show empathy
Kind and humble men have a profound ability to empathize with others. They don’t just sympathize, they truly understand and share the feelings of others.
Empathy involves understanding others’ feelings and responding with care and respect. It’s about seeing the world through someone else’s eyes and experiencing their emotions along with them.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve deeper into the concept of empathy from a Buddhist perspective.
You see, Buddhism teaches that empathy is an essential quality for achieving enlightenment.
These kind men inherently understand this principle. They connect with others on a deep, emotional level, making those around them feel seen, heard, and understood.
As psychologist Daniel Goleman puts it: “Empathy represents the foundation skill for all the social competencies important for work.”
The same can be said about personal relationships. Empathy strengthens bonds and fosters mutual respect and understanding.
4) They practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is more than just a buzzword. It’s a powerful tool that kind and humble men often use, even if they don’t realize it.
Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, focused on what’s happening right here and now, without judgment. It’s about fully engaging in whatever you’re doing, not being distracted by past regrets or future worries.
Research in psychology has shown that mindfulness has numerous benefits. It reduces stress, increases focus and attention, enhances emotional intelligence, and fosters empathy.
Kind and humble men are naturally mindful. They’re fully present when interacting with others, attentive to their needs and feelings, and responsive rather than reactive.
As renowned psychologist Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn explains: “Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.”
And these men truly understand this concept.
5) They are comfortable with vulnerability
It might seem counter-intuitive, but kind and humble men are often comfortable with vulnerability. While society often equates vulnerability with weakness, these men understand that it’s a strength.
Being vulnerable means being open about feelings, admitting mistakes, and being willing to take risks in personal relationships. It’s about letting go of the need to appear perfect and accepting oneself, warts and all.
Counter to what many might think, showing vulnerability doesn’t make these men weak; it makes them human. It allows for deeper connections with others and fosters trust and intimacy.
As Dr. Brenรฉ Brown, a research professor who has spent her career studying vulnerability, courage, and empathy, puts it: “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
Kind and humble men embody this courage every day.
6) They are genuinely grateful
Gratitude is another rare quality that kind and humble men often possess. They don’t take things for granted. Instead, they appreciate what they have and express their gratitude openly.
These men understand that gratitude is not just about saying thank you. It’s about recognizing the good in life.
It’s about acknowledging the efforts of others. It’s about appreciating the present moment, rather than constantly longing for more or dwelling on the past.
Being grateful makes these men more positive, happier, and more satisfied with their lives. It also makes them more likable and approachable.
As Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, once said, “Gratitude has the power to heal, to energize, and to change lives.”
These kind and humble men are perfect examples of how powerful gratitude can be.
7) They maintain a positive outlook
Having a positive outlook doesn’t mean ignoring the negative aspects of life. It means choosing to focus on the good, even when faced with challenges.
I’ve seen this in action. I once had a friend who faced a serious health scare. Despite the uncertainty and fear, he never lost his positive spirit.
He focused on his recovery, expressed gratitude for his supportive friends and family, and even found humor in his situation.
This positive attitude didn’t eliminate his problems, but it certainly made them more bearable. His optimism was infectious, uplifting everyone around him.
Helen Keller perfectly encapsulates this mindset: “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
And that’s exactly how these kind and humble men approach life.
8) They lead by example
Actions speak louder than words. This is a principle that kind and humble men truly understand. They don’t just talk about their values; they live them.
These men lead by example. They show kindness in their interactions, humility in their successes, and grace in their failures.
They don’t seek recognition or validation; they simply do what’s right because it aligns with their values.
Leading by example instills trust and respect in those around them. It inspires others to aspire to these same qualities.
As renowned psychologist Albert Bandura said, “People not only gain understanding through reflection, they evaluate and alter their own thinking.”
These kind and humble men provide the perfect examples for others to reflect upon and learn from.
Final thoughts: It’s about the journey
Understanding human behaviour is a complex task. We’re all unique, shaped by a multitude of factors: our experiences, our environment, and even our biochemistry.
The kind and humble men we’ve discussed in this article are no different. They display these rare qualities not because they actively strive to do so, but because it’s simply who they are. It’s woven into their character.
In “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve into how our actions and attitudes shape not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us.
The kind and humble men embody this principle. They prove that humility, kindness, empathy, and other such qualities can have a profound impact.
So let this be a source of reflection for you. Ask yourself: How can I incorporate these qualities into my own life? How can I make an impact through my actions?
Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday. It’s about the journey towards becoming a kinder, humbler version of yourself.
As Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
And these kind and humble men are a testament to this privilege.
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