It’s not easy pretending to be strong when you’re feeling anything but. Trust me, I know.
We put on a brave face for the world, playing the part of the unshakeable rock, even while we’re crumbling inside. It’s a tough act to keep up and eventually, the façade begins to crack.
In this article, I’ll be highlighting eight key behaviors of individuals who are exhausted from pretending to be strong when they’re actually feeling completely broken inside.
These aren’t just signs for us to recognize in others, but also red flags we might be exhibiting ourselves. Because acknowledging our own vulnerabilities is the first step towards seeking help and beginning the healing process.
So buckle up as we delve into this brave yet broken world, and hopefully come out the other side with a better understanding of ourselves and those around us.
1) They start to isolate themselves
By nature, we are social creatures. But when we’re feeling broken inside, the last thing we want is to burden others with our troubles.
This often results in a conscious decision to withdraw from social activities and interactions. It’s a sort of self-imposed isolation that allows us to hide our vulnerabilities and maintain the illusion of strength.
But while it might seem like a protective measure, this behavior only amplifies feelings of loneliness and despair. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break free from.
So if you notice someone pulling away from their usual social circles or even from you, it might be time to reach out and let them know they’re not alone.
And if you are the one isolating yourself, remember, it’s okay to lean on others when times get tough.
2) They become indifferent
I remember a time when I was going through a particularly rough patch. I was exhausted, not just physically but emotionally.
Everything around me seemed to lose its color. The things that used to bring me joy – a good book, hanging out with friends, even my favorite food – they all seemed uninteresting.
I realized later that this was my way of dealing with the pain I was feeling on the inside. By becoming indifferent to everything, I was trying to numb myself from the pain and maintain the facade of being strong.
This indifference is not a sign of strength or maturity as some might think. Rather, it’s a cry for help, a sign that someone is too tired of acting strong when they’re completely broken inside.
If you find yourself becoming indifferent or notice someone else showing signs of indifference, it’s important to take a step back and address the underlying issues.
3) Their sleep patterns change
When we are emotionally drained or feeling broken inside, our sleep patterns often take a hit. You may find yourself either sleeping too much or too little.
A study published in the journal Sleep found that people with emotional distress tend to have disrupted sleep patterns. This could manifest as insomnia, where you find it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep, or hypersomnia, where you sleep excessively.
What’s more, this disrupted sleep only adds to the emotional turmoil, creating a downward spiral that’s tough to climb out of.
So if you notice a sudden change in your own sleep pattern or that of someone close to you, it might be an indication that all is not well beneath the surface.
4) They overcompensate with humor
Ever noticed how some of the funniest people around you are often the ones battling their own inner demons? That’s because humor can be a powerful tool in masking pain.
When feeling broken inside, some people use humor as a defense mechanism. They joke about their problems, making light of their situation so others won’t see the pain they’re in.
It’s a tricky one to spot because it’s concealed behind laughter and smiles. But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice a pattern. The jokes may often revolve around self-deprecation or subtly hint at deeper issues.
The next time you encounter someone who constantly uses humor to deflect serious conversations, remember that their cheerful exterior might just be a cover for the turmoil they’re experiencing inside.
5) They put others before themselves
When we’re feeling broken inside, it’s not uncommon to focus our attention on others rather than ourselves. We become the caregivers, the listeners, the problem-solvers, all in an effort to avoid dealing with our own pain.
We convince ourselves that by helping others, we can somehow heal our own wounds. But in reality, we’re just ignoring our needs and suppressing our feelings.
This selflessness may seem commendable on the surface. After all, putting others before ourselves is seen as a virtue. But it’s crucial to remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup.
So if you notice someone always putting others first or if you find yourself doing the same, it might be time to pause and take care of your own needs.
Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being. In fact, it’s essential for your mental health.
6) They hide behind a well-crafted mask
I’ve always been good at wearing masks. Not the physical ones, but the emotional ones. The “I’m fine” mask, the “everything’s under control” mask, the “I’m strong” mask.
These masks were my shield against the world, helping me hide my vulnerabilities and maintain the illusion of strength. But beneath these masks, I was falling apart.
The problem with these masks is that they’re exhausting to wear all the time. And they prevent us from truly connecting with others, as we’re always hiding our true selves.
If you’re constantly wearing these masks, or you notice someone else who seems to always have their guard up, it might be a sign that there’s something more going on beneath the surface.
It might be time to lower these masks and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to admit that we’re not okay and that we need help.
7) They push their limits
When we’re feeling broken inside, it’s often easier to keep busy than to face our feelings. We throw ourselves into work, hobbies, or any other activity that can keep our minds occupied.
We push ourselves to the brink, working harder and longer than ever before. It’s like we’re trying to outrun our pain, hoping that if we stay busy enough, it won’t catch up with us.
But this is a dangerous game to play. Not only does it take a toll on our physical health, but it also prevents us from addressing the emotional issues that are causing our pain.
So if you notice yourself or someone else constantly pushing their limits, remember that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to take time for yourself and address your feelings. Because running from your problems is a race you’ll never win.
8) They stop taking care of themselves
When we’re feeling completely broken inside, self-care often takes a backseat. We might stop eating properly, neglect our personal hygiene, or ignore our health.
This lack of self-care is not a sign of laziness or neglect. It’s a cry for help, a sign that someone is struggling with their emotional wellbeing.
When you find yourself neglecting your own needs or notice someone else doing the same, don’t ignore it.
Reach out, offer support, or seek help. Because self-care is not just about pampering, it’s about respecting ourselves and acknowledging that our wellbeing matters.
Final thoughts: It’s okay to not be okay
There’s a profound quote by Japanese writer Haruki Murakami that says, “Sometimes you’re just the bug, and sometimes you’re the windshield”.
In life, there will be times when we feel like the bug, squashed and broken, carrying a weight that seems too heavy to bear.
And it’s during these times when we put up a facade, pretending to be strong when we’re feeling completely broken inside.
But here’s the thing – it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel broken. It’s okay to admit that we’re struggling. Because it’s only when we acknowledge our pain that we can start the journey towards healing.
So if you’re feeling broken right now, remember you’re not alone. Reach out, seek help, and allow yourself to heal. And if you see someone else displaying these behaviors, don’t hesitate to lend a helping hand.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to navigate this journey called life. And sometimes, all we need is a little empathy, a little understanding, and a whole lot of love.
