Ever found yourself walking away from a conversation thinking, “Well, that was a complete waste of time”?
Me too.
Over the years, in my counseling practice and my personal life, I’ve come to recognize certain telltale signs that someone might be more of a time-waster than a time-respecter.
These cues often fly under the radar because they don’t involve explicit statements like “I don’t care” or “I’m ignoring you.”
Instead, the message is delivered through subtle but powerful behaviors.
In this post, I’m going to share seven behaviors that practically scream “I’m just wasting your time,” all without a single word.
If some of these sound familiar, don’t worry—awareness is the first step to shifting the dynamic or addressing the issue head-on.
Let’s dive in.
1) Chronic lateness and last-minute cancellations
How many times have you made plans with someone who shows up 30 minutes late or decides to cancel just as you’re about to head out the door?
Chronic lateness or frequent last-minute cancellations might not seem like a huge deal if it happens once in a blue moon.
But when it becomes a pattern, it’s a glaring signal that they’re not honoring your schedule.
I’ve had clients complain about feeling underappreciated or neglected when their partner or friend repeatedly flakes out.
It’s never about that one time someone got stuck in traffic—hey, things happen. But it’s about the consistent disregard for another person’s energy and commitment. One of my long-term counseling clients, Sarah, shared that her best friend would often cancel dinner plans fifteen minutes before meeting.
After months of frustration, Sarah finally realized this friend wasn’t prioritizing their get-togethers.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Chronic lateness or last-minute cancellations are a quiet but unmistakable way of showing you that your time just isn’t high on their list of priorities.
2) Constant phone or screen distractions
Let’s face it: we live in a digitally connected world where notifications pop up every other second.
But there’s a difference between occasionally checking your phone and giving it more attention than the live human being sitting across from you.
I’ve seen this play out in couples therapy sessions. One partner will be pouring their heart out, while the other constantly scrolls social media or responds to texts.
Even in casual friendships, it can feel like pulling teeth to maintain a coherent conversation when the other person is always glancing down at their device.
I like to remind people of Tony Robbins’ quote: “Where focus goes, energy flows.” If someone’s attention is glued to their screen, their energy certainly isn’t flowing toward you.
It’s an unspoken way of saying, “I’m not fully present, and I’m not entirely invested in this moment.”
3) Non-committal responses and indefinite plans
Have you ever tried to make concrete plans with someone, only to receive vague answers like, “Maybe I’ll be free next month,” or “Let’s definitely do something sometime soon”?
It’s the ultimate brush-off hidden behind polite words.
I’ll be honest: I used to be guilty of this with certain acquaintances, not because I wanted to lead them on, but because I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to commit.
It wasn’t until a close friend called me out on how frustrating it felt that I realized I was effectively wasting their time.
Non-committal responses can feel like you’re tossing the ball back in someone’s court without having any real intention to play the game.
I mention this in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, though in a slightly different context: codependent relationships often hinge on people-pleasing behaviors.
In that scenario, someone might say “sure, let’s do it” to avoid conflict, but never actually follow through. Either way, indefinite plans and non-answers can leave the other person hanging indefinitely, hinting (loudly) that you’re not truly invested.
4) Dismissive body language
What if someone attends every meeting on time, but their body language is so dismissive it basically tells you, “I’d rather be anywhere else”?
A heavy sigh, crossed arms, constant glances at the watch, or even restless foot-tapping can convey disinterest faster than words can.
I recall a couple I counseled a few years back.
The husband would show up for sessions, never late, always quiet—but the way he slouched in his seat, stared at the ceiling, and tapped his foot continuously shouted loud and clear that he had no real investment in being there.
His wife felt like she was dragging him along, which only added to her feelings of being unheard and unimportant.
Dismissive body language doesn’t just tell the other person they’re undervalued—it also sets a precedent that minimal effort is acceptable.
If you see (or feel) these cues from someone, chances are they’re passively telling you your time isn’t a top priority for them.
5) Long-winded stories with no real point
Have you ever gotten stuck listening to someone recount every microscopic detail of their day, only to realize ten minutes in that there’s no punchline, no relevant takeaway, and no mutual exchange?
They’re not necessarily being malicious or trying to waste your time, but the effect is the same. It can be exhausting to sit through an endless monologue that never seems to circle back to anything meaningful—or to you.
It’s especially draining when you want to share something important, but the other person monopolizes the conversation, steering it back to their meandering anecdote.
Sometimes, this is a sign of poor social skills or a lack of self-awareness.
Other times, it might be intentional stalling or a diversion tactic so they don’t have to address serious issues.
If you’ve ever found yourself on the receiving end of these ramblings, you know how it silently screams, “Your input or concerns aren’t really that important; let’s talk about me and my trivialities instead.” You might have read my post on communication blocks a while back where I touched on the necessity of mutual exchange.
Long-winded, one-sided conversations violate this basic principle of good communication.
6) Half-hearted listening
We’ve all dealt with that person who’s physically present and even nodding at the right times—but their eyes seem glazed over.
This is the classic case of half-hearted listening, and it can be more insulting than not listening at all because it offers the illusion of engagement while delivering none of its benefits.
Professionally, I see this in team meetings where someone is forced to attend but clearly doesn’t want to be there.
They might look at the speaker, but their mind is miles away. Similarly, in personal relationships, a partner might say “Uh-huh” just enough to keep you talking, but can’t recall a single detail later.
It reminds me of a fundamental principle taught by Daniel Goleman, who highlights how emotional intelligence heavily relies on genuine attentiveness and empathy.
If a person can’t muster more than half-hearted listening, they’re indirectly telling you that your words aren’t significant enough to warrant their full attention. That’s a glaring sign that your time could be better spent elsewhere.
7) They’re always “too busy” but never really show results
Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list. Anyway, there’s a certain type of person who always claims to be swamped with work, errands, or life stress—but despite their perpetual busyness, they never seem to produce anything concrete.
They’ll blow you off with explanations like, “I’m so overloaded today,” and yet, months down the line, there’s no tangible progress on whatever they’ve been so busy with.
I once had a colleague who perpetually delayed a collaboration we were working on.
Each time I asked for an update, he gave me the same line: “I’m slammed at the moment.” After about six weeks of zero advancement and a dozen half-baked apologies, I had to accept the truth: he just wasn’t motivated to collaborate.
It felt like a giant sign saying, “Stop waiting on me—I’m going to make excuses forever.”
“At the end of the day,” when someone claims to be “too busy” for any real follow-through, it’s a sure sign that what you’re asking from them—or the relationship itself—isn’t a priority.
I get that life can get chaotic, but when there’s no evidence of actual progress or accountability, it’s a silent declaration that your time and contributions aren’t valued.
Final thoughts
So, there you have it: seven quiet but unmistakable ways people convey they’re not all that interested in valuing your time. Whether it’s chronic lateness, constant phone distractions, vague responses, dismissive body language, endless monologues, half-hearted listening, or perpetual busyness with zero results, each behavior can be a powerful sign of disregard.
Now, I’m not saying we should drop every friend or colleague who exhibits one of these signs from time to time. Life does happen, and sometimes we all get stuck in bad habits (guilty as charged in my younger days!). But recognizing these patterns can help you decide if it’s worth addressing the issue or, in some cases, stepping away.
Your time matters. Your energy is valuable. And the more you surround yourself with people who respect that, the more fulfilling your interactions—and life—will become. Here’s hoping these insights help you fine-tune your radar for time-wasters, so you can invest in relationships that truly uplift and respect you.
