Being put through the wringer of life may not be a walk in the park, but boy, does it build resilience.
I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve come to appreciate that life’s rough patches are not just the stuff of hardship, but also the forge of resilience.
Resilience – that quality allowing us to bounce back from adversity and keep going – is often born out of challenging experiences. And if you’ve dealt with these 8 experiences I’m about to share with you, then you, my friend, are likely more resilient than the average person.
Ready to find out what these experiences are?
Let’s dive in.
1. Enduring a life-altering loss
Loss is a part of life, but especially significant losses can shake us to our core.
I’m talking about those hard-hitting losses. The death of a loved one, going through a heart-wrenching breakup or even losing your job. These experiences are emotionally draining and can feel like the end of the world.
But here’s the thing: If you’ve gone through this type of profound loss and are still standing, it’s a testament to your resilience.
You see, enduring such an experience forces us to confront our deepest fears and vulnerabilities. It pushes us to adapt, learn, and grow in order to navigate our way through the pain.
In fact, renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” This quote encapsulates the essence of resilience.
2. Facing repeated failures
Life is full of ups and downs. But when the downs seem to keep piling up, it can feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of failure.
Let me share a personal example.
When I first started Hack Spirit, I faced rejection after rejection. Publishers weren’t interested, my articles didn’t get the traction I had hoped for, and there were many times I thought about throwing in the towel.
But I didn’t. Instead, I learned from each failure, tweaked my approach, and kept going. And now, Hack Spirit is a leading resource for mindfulness and practical psychology.
If you’ve faced repeated failures and used them as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks, you are remarkably resilient. These experiences teach us to dust ourselves off and try again, building our resilience with each attempt.
As Thomas Edison famously said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This resilience in the face of failure is a trait we should all aim to cultivate.
3. Living through a natural disaster
Natural disasters can be absolutely devastating. They can destroy homes, tear apart communities, and leave us feeling completely helpless.
However, if you’ve lived through a natural disaster and rebuilt your life from the rubble, you are undoubtedly resilient.
In the face of such adversity, you’ve managed to pick up the pieces and carry on. You’ve faced hardship head-on and refused to let it break you.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I share insights into how Buddhist principles can help us face life’s challenges with equanimity. These principles can guide us in cultivating resilience and finding peace amidst the chaos, just like you have demonstrated by rebuilding your life after a natural disaster.
A quote that resonates here is by Japanese Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda: “What matters most is that we should rise above the clouds of our lives; which means cultivating the spirit to view everything that happens in life with detachment and transforming even hardship into something of value.” This perfectly encapsulates the resilience you’ve demonstrated.
4. Overcoming a serious health issue
Facing a serious health issue can be one of the most challenging experiences in someone’s life. The physical, emotional, and mental toll can seem overwhelming.
However, psychological research shows that those who’ve faced and overcome a serious health issue often develop incredible resilience.
This makes sense when you think about it. You’ve had to adapt to new realities, cope with pain or discomfort, and possibly even relearn basic tasks.
Psychologists refer to this as “post-traumatic growth” – the idea that we can grow stronger and more resilient through adversity. It’s not just about bouncing back but bouncing forward, using the experience to foster personal growth and psychological well-being.
As psychologist Martin Seligman puts it: “The good news is that in some people, post-traumatic growth may bring about a higher level of functioning than before the trauma.” So if you’ve faced a serious health issue and come out stronger on the other side, you’ve displayed remarkable resilience.
5. Living through financial hardship
Financial hardship? That doesn’t sound like a resilience-building experience, does it? It’s just plain tough. But here’s the counter-intuitive part: enduring financial hardship can actually build remarkable resilience.
When you’ve navigated your way through economic stress, you’ve had to learn how to make do with less, prioritize your needs, and perhaps even find creative ways to generate income.
This kind of experience forces us to adapt and become resourceful – key elements of resilience.
Moreover, overcoming financial hardship often involves developing emotional resilience as well. The stress and anxiety associated with financial instability can be overwhelming. But if you’ve been through it and come out the other side, it means you’ve built up your emotional strength as well.
As renowned psychologist Susan David says: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” It seems paradoxical, but enduring hardship can indeed make us stronger. If you’ve lived through financial hardship and emerged stronger, you’re demonstrating resilience in a big way.
6. Surviving a traumatic event
No one wants to experience a traumatic event, but unfortunately, these things do happen. Whether it’s an accident, abuse, or a violent attack, such experiences can leave deep emotional scars.
However, if you’ve survived a traumatic event and managed to rebuild your life despite the pain, you’re displaying a level of resilience that is truly commendable.
Surviving trauma often involves navigating a path of healing and recovery. This requires emotional strength, mental toughness, and the ability to adapt – all key components of resilience.
This resilience doesn’t negate the pain or make the trauma any less real. But it does show an incredible ability to persevere, heal, and even grow from such experiences.
Psychologist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor himself, once said: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” If you’ve lived through a traumatic event and managed to keep moving forward, you’re embodying this sentiment and demonstrating incredible resilience.
7. Navigating through a major life transition
Major life transitions can be incredibly challenging. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, or even becoming a parent for the first time, these changes can turn our world upside down.
During these times of transition, everything that was once familiar becomes uncertain. It’s easy to feel lost and overwhelmed.
Yet, finding your feet amidst such uncertainties is a robust sign of resilience. It shows you can adapt to new circumstances, embrace the unknown, and keep moving forward despite the difficulties.
One of the most tumultuous transitions was when I moved from Australia to Asia with no job prospects in sight. It was a period of great uncertainty and stress. But it was also an experience that taught me a lot about patience, adaptability, and resilience.
As psychologist Carl Rogers said: “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” If you’ve navigated through a major life transition and learned from it, you’ve shown great resilience.
8. Breaking free from toxic relationships
Toxic relationships can drain our energy, lower our self-esteem, and create a cloud of negativity around us. Breaking free from such relationships requires courage, strength, and a fair bit of resilience.
Leaving a toxic relationship often means stepping into the unknown. You may need to redefine your sense of self, rebuild your social circle, and even face backlash or manipulation from the person you’re leaving behind.
But if you’ve managed to break free and establish a healthier life for yourself, you’ve demonstrated remarkable resilience. You’ve shown that you can stand up for yourself, make difficult decisions, and prioritize your well-being over the comfort of familiarity.
As psychologist Harriet Lerner once said: “Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.” If you’ve left a toxic relationship and worked on improving yourself, you’re definitely more resilient than the average person.
Final thoughts: Resilience is a journey
Resilience isn’t a trait we’re simply born with – it’s shaped by the experiences we go through.
Through each hardship, each challenge, and each loss, we learn. We grow. We become more resilient.
If you’ve lived through any of these 8 experiences, take a moment to appreciate your strength. You’ve faced adversity head-on and come out stronger on the other side. That is something truly commendable.
In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve into how we can use mindfulness and Buddhist principles to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. The wisdom in these pages might just help you turn your adversities into avenues for growth.
Remember, as the renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
Let’s choose to become more resilient. Let’s choose to learn from our experiences. Let’s choose to rise above.
Because at the end of the day, that’s what resilience is all about – choosing to rise, no matter how many times life knocks us down.
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