As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that being classy and sophisticated isn’t about designer clothes or knowing which fork to use at dinner. It’s about how you carry yourself, how you treat others, and the little habits that make you feel effortlessly elegant.
The good news? Anyone can develop these habits. You don’t need a fancy upbringing or a personal stylist—just a willingness to refine the way you move through the world.
Over the years, I’ve picked up on the small yet powerful things that truly elevate someone’s presence. And if your goal is to become more classy and sophisticated as you grow older, say hello to these 8 habits that will help you get there.
1) Carry yourself with confidence
You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room to make an impact. True sophistication comes from quiet confidence—the kind that doesn’t need to beg for attention.
Think about the most elegant people you know. They don’t fidget, they don’t slouch, and they certainly don’t apologize for simply existing. Instead, they move with a sense of purpose, standing tall and speaking with clarity.
Confidence isn’t about arrogance—it’s about self-assurance. When you believe in yourself, others naturally take notice. And the best part? You don’t have to fake it. Start by being mindful of your posture, making eye contact, and speaking with intention.
The way you carry yourself speaks before you even say a word—so make sure it’s saying something classy.
2) Choose elegance over trends
I’ll be honest—I’ve had my fair share of questionable fashion choices (I’d rather not talk about the early 2000s). But one thing I’ve learned over time is that true sophistication isn’t about chasing the latest trends—it’s about embracing timeless elegance.
Coco Chanel said it best: *“Fashion fades, only style remains the same.”* And she was right. Classy people don’t feel the need to wear whatever is trending just to fit in. Instead, they invest in pieces that make them feel confident and polished, whether that’s a well-fitted blazer, a classic little black dress, or simply a clean and put-together look.
This doesn’t mean you have to dress like you’re headed to a gala every day. It’s more about being intentional with how you present yourself. When you focus on elegance over trends, you’ll always look effortlessly sophisticated—no matter the decade.
3) Speak with grace and intention
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a relationship expert, it’s that the way you speak says just as much about you as the words you choose. Classy, sophisticated people don’t dominate conversations or fill the air with meaningless chatter—they speak with grace, clarity, and intention.
That means thinking before you speak, choosing your words wisely, and knowing when to listen instead of talk. It also means avoiding gossip and complaining—nothing ruins elegance faster than negativity.
In my book,
Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship,
I talk about how the way we communicate in relationships impacts our self-worth. The same applies to everyday life—when you speak with confidence and kindness, you naturally command respect.
When you’re in a conversation, slow down, choose your words with care, and remember: true sophistication isn’t about saying more—it’s about saying what matters.
4) Know when to say no
You might think that being classy means always being polite, agreeable, and saying “yes” to everything. But here’s the counterintuitive truth—one of the most sophisticated things you can do is know when to say *no.*
Classy people don’t overextend themselves, and they certainly don’t say yes just to please others. Instead, they set boundaries with grace. They understand that real confidence comes from knowing your worth and protecting your time and energy.
Saying no doesn’t have to be rude or harsh. A simple “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to pass” is enough. The key is to be firm yet respectful. When you master this, you’ll not only gain more respect from others—you’ll also feel more in control of your own life.
Sophistication isn’t about being a people-pleaser. It’s about knowing your limits and honoring them with poise.
5) Practice the art of listening
I used to think being interesting meant having the best stories or the wittiest comebacks. But over the years, I’ve realized that the most sophisticated people aren’t always the ones doing the most talking—they’re the ones who truly *listen.*
Classy people don’t interrupt, zone out, or wait for their turn to speak. Instead, they make others feel heard. They ask thoughtful questions, pay attention to details, and respond with genuine interest.
The next time you’re in a conversation, try this: put your phone away, make eye contact, and focus entirely on the person speaking. It sounds simple, but in a world full of distractions, being a great listener is a rare and powerful skill.
People may not always remember what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel—and making someone feel valued is one of the classiest things you can do.
6) Stop trying to prove yourself
Let’s be real—there was a time when I felt like I had to prove my worth to everyone. Whether it was through achievements, appearances, or just saying the “right” things, I thought sophistication meant being impressive. But here’s the raw truth: trying too hard is the fastest way to kill elegance.
Truly classy people don’t need to broadcast their success or seek validation from others. They don’t name-drop, brag, or constantly explain themselves. They simply *are.* They let their presence speak for itself, without needing to convince anyone of their value.
If you find yourself over-explaining or feeling like you have to justify your choices, take a step back. Real sophistication comes from quiet confidence—the kind that doesn’t beg for attention but naturally draws people in.
Stop trying to prove yourself. You don’t need to. And that’s exactly what makes you stand out.
7) Express gratitude often
One of the most underrated signs of true class? Gratitude. I’ve met a lot of people in my career—some wildly successful, others effortlessly charming—but the ones who leave a lasting impression are always the ones who genuinely appreciate the people around them.
As Oprah Winfrey once said, *“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”*
Sophisticated people don’t take things—or people—for granted. They say *thank you* sincerely, they acknowledge kindness, and they make others feel valued. And the best part? Gratitude costs nothing but makes a world of difference in how you’re perceived.
Whether it’s writing a quick thank-you note, complimenting someone’s hard work, or simply taking a moment to appreciate life’s little joys—make gratitude a habit. It has a way of making you not just more elegant, but also happier.
8) Stop chasing perfection
Let’s be honest—trying to be “perfect” is exhausting. I’ve been there, obsessing over every little detail, afraid of making mistakes, thinking that sophistication meant having it all together 24/7. But here’s the truth: perfection isn’t classy. It’s suffocating.
The most sophisticated people I know aren’t flawless—they’re comfortable being *real.* They own their quirks, laugh at themselves, and don’t crumble under the weight of unrealistic expectations. They understand that true elegance isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being poised even when things *aren’t* perfect.
Let go of the pressure to always say the right thing, wear the right outfit, or have the perfect life. Sophistication isn’t about looking polished all the time—it’s about handling life’s imperfections with grace and confidence. And trust me, that’s far more attractive than perfection will ever be.
Final thoughts
Becoming more classy and sophisticated isn’t about being perfect—it’s about carrying yourself with confidence, kindness, and authenticity. These habits aren’t about impressing others; they’re about feeling good in your own skin as you grow into the best version of yourself.
If you’re looking to elevate not just your presence but also your relationships, I dive deeper into self-worth and personal growth in my book,
Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship
True sophistication starts from within—embrace it, own it, and watch how your world transforms.
