The way we were disciplined as children can leave a lasting impact on how we navigate the world as adults.
The distinction between discipline and regular scolding in childhood can be a fine line.
If you were frequently scolded as a child, it might have shaped your behavior in ways you don’t even realize.
Regular scolding, in particular, can shape behaviors and thought patterns that persist long after childhood, and these tendencies often develop as coping mechanisms and may go unnoticed in our daily lives.
If you were regularly scolded as a child, you might recognize these 8 behaviors that subtly influence how you think and act today:
1) You’re overly self-critical
If you were regularly scolded as a child, chances are, you might’ve internalized that criticism.
This can result in an overly self-critical attitude—you might find yourself constantly scrutinizing your actions and decisions, always looking for flaws.
It’s not uncommon for those who grew up with regular scolding to feel like they can never do anything right as they may have set impossibly high standards for themselves, and beat themselves up when they don’t meet them.
After all, if you were constantly criticized as a child, it can be hard to shake off that feeling of never being good enough.
But, remember, being self-critical can be exhausting and unproductive, but understanding the root of this behavior can be the first step towards addressing it.
2) You avoid conflicts at all costs
Growing up, I was regularly scolded—it seemed like every little thing led to a lecture or a punishment and, as a result, I developed an aversion to conflicts.
Even now, I find myself going out of my way to avoid confrontations.
It’s like an automatic response—if I sense that a situation could potentially lead to a disagreement or argument, I instantly try to diffuse the situation or retreat altogether.
This behavior isn’t uncommon for those who were regularly scolded as children as conflict reminds us of those scolding episodes from our past, and our instinct is to steer clear.
However, avoiding conflict isn’t always the best approach.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to stand up for ourselves and voice our opinions, even if it might lead to a disagreement.
3) You struggle with self-esteem issues
Regular scolding during childhood can significantly impact a person’s self-esteem.
In fact, numerous psychological studies and articles have linked childhood scolding to low self-esteem in adulthood.
When children are regularly scolded, they can internalize the negative messages, leading to a belief that they are not good enough.
A belief like this can persist into adulthood, resulting in feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
Low self-esteem can affect various aspects of your life, from your career to your relationships, so it’s important to recognize this behavior and work towards building a more positive self-image.
4) You tend to be overly apologetic
Have you ever realized that you apologize more than necessary?
Over-apologizing is a way of trying to avoid any potential conflict or criticism—by apologizing, you’re hoping to keep the peace and prevent any negative reactions from others.
Then again, being overly apologetic can undermine your self-confidence and allow others to take you for granted.
It’s best to learn to realize when an apology is genuinely necessary and when it’s just a reflex response born out of a fear of disapproval.
5) You’re a people pleaser
Let me paint you a picture: You find yourself saying yes to things you don’t want to do, agreeing with opinions you don’t share, and doing anything possible to keep those around you happy.
At its core, this behavior stems from a fear of rejection or a voice inside your head whispering that if you don’t make everyone happy, they won’t like you, they’ll be angry, or they’ll leave.
Honestly speaking, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time—and it’s okay.
You have the right to your feelings, opinions, and desires, so you matter just as much as everyone else.
6) You find it hard to express your feelings
I’ve always found it difficult to express my feelings—whether it’s joy, sadness, anger or love, I struggle to put those emotions into words.
As I grew older, I learned to suppress my feelings as a way to avoid further criticism or punishment and, in the end, I’d become an expert at putting on a brave face, even when I was hurting inside.
Unfortunately, this pattern has followed me into adulthood; I struggled to express my feelings openly and honestly, which lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.
Finding this relatable, do know that you’re not alone—with understanding and practice, we can learn to open up more and share our emotions in a healthy way.
7) You have a hard time saying no
Saying “no” can feel like an uphill battle; you might fear that saying no will lead to conflict or disappointment, so you constantly agree to things, even at the cost of your own comfort or well-being.
A behavior like this stems from the desire to avoid any negative reactions from others, as you might fear that saying no will make you seem unkind or selfish.
Overall, it’s important to remember that saying “no” is a part of establishing healthy boundaries—to prioritize your needs and wants.
Recognizing this behavior and learning to say no when necessary can be an empowering step towards better self-care.
8) You’re prone to anxiety and stress
Getting scolded regularly during your childhood can lead to a heightened sense of anxiety and stress in adulthood.
This comes from the constant fear of doing something wrong and facing criticism, so you might find yourself worrying excessively about making mistakes or disappointing others.
This constant state of anxiety can be exhausting and detrimental to your mental health.
In the end, it’s essential to seek help—it’s okay to reach out to professionals or trusted individuals in your life.
You don’t have to navigate these feelings alone.
Final thoughts: It’s about understanding
The complexities of human behavior are often intertwined with our upbringing; this is particularly evident in the behaviors displayed by individuals who were regularly scolded as a child.
These behaviors—whether being overly self-critical, struggling with self-esteem, or having difficulty expressing emotions—aren’t weaknesses as they’re learned responses to specific childhood environments.
Understanding these patterns is the first step—awareness creates the opportunity to replace them with healthier coping mechanisms.
If you see these behaviors in yourself, know that change is possible.
It starts with self-compassion and a willingness to grow, so it’s never too late to begin that journey.
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