If you want your grandchildren to see you as a role model, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

There’s a certain kind of pressure that comes with being a grandparent.

It’s like you’ve suddenly been handed this incredible responsibility, this chance to be an example, a guide, a hero in the eyes of your grandchildren.

And admittedly, that’s a little intimidating.

You’ve lived life, made mistakes, and learned from them.

You want to pass on your wisdom, sure, but more than anything, you want your grandchildren to look at you and see someone they aspire to be.

But the truth is, there may be some behaviors you’re holding onto that are getting in the way of that aspiration.

They’re not huge things, not unforgivable sins.

Yet, they’re habits that might be subtly tarnishing that role model image you’re aiming for.

Here are eight behaviors you might need to bid farewell to if you want your grandchildren to see you as their role model.

1) Dismissing their opinions

We all know the saying, “wisdom comes with age”.

And while that’s often true, it’s essential to remember that everyone, regardless of their age, has valuable insights to offer.

If you’ve developed a habit of dismissing your grandchildren’s opinions simply because they’re young, it could be time to rethink.

You might believe you’re doing it out of love and protection, but from their perspective, it can feel like their thoughts aren’t valued.

You see, being a role model goes beyond just imparting wisdom.

It’s also about fostering an environment where they feel heard and respected.

So the next time they share their thoughts or ideas, try to listen actively, engage with them, and appreciate the unique perspective they bring.

Saying goodbye to this behavior not only strengthens your bond but also encourages them to grow into confident adults who value open dialogue.

2) Not admitting when you’re wrong

I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not easy to own up to mistakes, especially in front of those younger than us.

I mean, who likes to show their flaws, right?

I remember this one time I gave my grandson incorrect directions to our favorite park.

Instead of admitting I was wrong when we ended up in a completely different neighborhood, I tried to brush it off as a “new adventure”.

But the look on his face told me he wasn’t buying it.

He knew I was wrong, and he knew I wasn’t admitting it.

From that moment, I realized that admitting our mistakes doesn’t make us weak or less respectable.

In fact, it makes us human. And it shows our grandchildren that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes, as long as we learn from our mistakes and strive to make things right.

So if you’ve been holding onto the notion that you always have to be right, you might want to let that go.

Your grandchildren will respect you more for your honesty and humility than for a false sense of perfection.

3) Letting anger dictate your reactions

Mark Twain once said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

This quote resonates with me deeply, especially when thinking about my role as a grandparent.

I remember a day when my granddaughter accidentally knocked over my favorite vase.

My first instinct was to react in anger, but then Twain’s words echoed in my mind.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that a vase was replaceable, but the impact of my reaction could stay with her forever.

So instead of yelling, I calmly explained the importance of being careful around fragile items and we spent the rest of the afternoon shopping for a new vase together.

Anger is a natural emotion, but allowing it to dictate our reactions can create a hostile environment.

As role models, our job is to show our grandchildren how to handle emotions responsibly.

So next time you’re about to react out of anger, take a pause, breathe, and choose a response that teaches rather than hurts.

4) Being too critical

Here’s a little bit of science for you: according to research, our brain tends to focus more on negative events than positive ones.

This is known as the negativity bias, and it’s something that can significantly impact our interactions with others, especially our grandchildren.

Imagine your grandchild playing a piece on the piano for you.

They hit every note perfectly, except for one.

If your first reaction is to point out the missed note rather than praising their overall performance, you might be falling into the trap of the negativity bias.

Being too critical can undermine their confidence and discourage them from trying new things.

As role models, we want to inspire our grandchildren to explore, learn, and grow without the fear of constant criticism.

5) Being unresponsive

It’s no surprise that the world we live in is incredibly fast-paced.

With technology at our fingertips, it’s easy to get lost in a whirlwind of emails, notifications, and news updates.

But when we allow ourselves to be consumed by these distractions, we risk missing out on meaningful moments with our grandchildren.

I found myself caught in this cycle once.

My grandkids would be talking to me, and I’d nod along while my attention was fixed on my phone.

It wasn’t until my grandson asked me if I was even listening to him that I realized how unresponsive I had become.

Being present and responsive is so important in building strong relationships.

Our grandchildren need to know that they can count on us to be there for them, not just physically but emotionally as well.

So if you find yourself too often distracted when your grandchildren are around, it might be time to make a change.

Put down the phone, close the laptop, turn off the TV – do whatever it takes to show them that they have your full attention.

6) Lack of empathy

Growing up can be tough.

The world is big, and the challenges it presents can seem even bigger when you’re a kid.

As grandparents, we’ve been there, done that, and it can be tempting to dismiss their struggles as trivial in comparison to our own experiences.

But here’s the thing: their problems are real and significant to them, just as ours are to us.

When my granddaughter came home crying because her best friend had moved away, my first instinct was to tell her that she’d make new friends.

But then I saw the pain in her eyes and remembered how it felt when my own best friend moved away when I was her age.

See Also

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

It’s one of the most important qualities we can demonstrate to our grandchildren.

Showing empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do.

It simply means acknowledging their feelings and letting them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do.

7) Not practicing what you preach

Here’s a bit of a truth bomb: children, and especially our grandchildren, are like sponges.

They soak up everything they see us do.

This realization hit me when I caught my grandson copying my habit of always leaving the lights on in rooms I wasn’t using.

It’s easy to forget that our actions speak louder than our words.

We can tell our grandchildren about the importance of being respectful, honest, and responsible, but if we’re not embodying these values ourselves, our words lose their impact.

The best way to teach is by example.

If we want our grandchildren to grow into kind, compassionate, and ethical individuals, we need to demonstrate these characteristics in our own behavior.

So take a moment to reflect on your actions. Are they aligning with the values you’re trying to impart?

Being a role model isn’t just about what we say; it’s also about what we do.

8) Neglecting self-care

Now, this last point might seem a little counterintuitive, especially since we’ve been focusing on behaviors that directly impact our grandchildren.

But here’s the thing: taking care of ourselves is just as important, if not more.

I used to believe that being a good grandparent meant devoting all my time and energy to my grandchildren.

But over time, I realized that neglecting my own needs was doing more harm than good.

I was constantly tired, irritable, and just not the best version of myself around them.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s necessary.

When we take care of our physical, emotional, and mental well-being, we’re better equipped to take care of others.

Plus, it sets a great example for our grandchildren about the importance of self-love and self-respect.

Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself.

Read a book, take a walk, catch up on your favorite show – do whatever it takes to recharge your batteries.

If you recognized yourself in any of these behaviors, don’t worry.

This isn’t an indictment; it’s an invitation for self-improvement. These habits are not set in stone.

They can be changed, and you have the power to change them.

Start by acknowledging these behaviors.

Then, make a conscious effort to let go of them, one step at a time.

It might not be easy, but remember, every journey begins with a single step.

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Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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