As parents, most of us want to be seen as good people in the eyes of our children—someone they can look up to, trust, and emulate.
However, certain habits and behaviors can quietly undermine that image, even when our intentions are good.
These aren’t always glaring mistakes—they can be subtle actions we overlook, but they leave a lasting impression on how our children perceive us.
In this post, we’ll explore 5 behaviors you need to let go of if you want your children to truly see you as a good person.
Let’s dive in.
1) Being dismissive
I’ll be honest, this is something I struggled with.
There were times when my kids would come to me with their issues, and I would dismiss them as ‘kid problems’. I used to think, “They’re young, what could they possibly have to worry about?”
But then I saw how it affected my children. They stopped sharing things with me because they felt I didn’t take them seriously.
Then I started reading up on this and found that as noted by some experts like Annie Tanasugarn, a doctor of psychology, “Childhood invalidation can lead to later feelings of insecurity, deep depression, and an unstable sense of self-identity.”
That was a wake-up call.
I started making an effort to listen more attentively, to validate their feelings, no matter how trivial their concerns seemed to me. Because what might seem minor from our adult perspective can be a major issue for them.
This change made a huge difference. My children started opening up to me more and it improved our relationship significantly.
No matter how small or insignificant your child’s concerns seem to you, to them it’s important. Treat it as such if you want them to see you as a good person.
2) Overusing digital devices
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get lost in our screens. Whether it’s work, social media, or just killing time, our devices often take up a lot of our attention.
But did you know that the average American teen spends more than seven hours a day in front of a screen? This is more than triple the recommended limit.
As parents, we need to set the right example. If we are constantly glued to our screens, it sends a message that this behavior is acceptable. We’re also missing out on valuable bonding time with our children.
Try to limit your screen time and engage more with your children. Play a game, go for a walk, have a chat. It might seem small, but these actions can make a big difference in how your children perceive you.
3) Not admitting when you’re wrong
As parents, we often feel the pressure to be perfect. But let’s face it, we all make mistakes.
The problem arises when we don’t admit to them. If we don’t own up to our mistakes, how can we expect our children to do the same?
Admitting when you’re wrong shows your children that it’s okay to make mistakes. It shows them that what’s important is to learn from these errors and to try not to repeat them.
Next time you make a mistake, whether it’s forgetting to pick them up from school or losing your temper, admit it. Apologize sincerely and make amends.
This will not only make your children respect you more, but it’ll also teach them a valuable lesson about accountability and humility.
4) Always being in a rush
This is one I know all too well.
There was a period in my life where everything seemed like a race against time. Work deadlines, household chores, appointments – it felt like there were never enough hours in the day.
In this rush, I found myself often hurrying my children along, impatient for them to finish their meals, their homework, their stories.
One day, my youngest looked at me with teary eyes and said, “Why are you always in such a hurry? You never have time for us.”
That moment was a reality check. I realized that in my attempt to tick off tasks from my to-do list, I was missing out on truly connecting with my children.
From then on, I made a conscious effort to slow down. To be present with my children. To listen to their stories, no matter how long they took. To savor our mealtimes together instead of rushing through them.
This change not only improved our relationship but also made me realize that some of the most memorable moments are those unplanned ones that occur when we’re not in a rush.
No matter how busy you get, always make time for your children. They grow up fast and these moments won’t come back.
5) Neglecting self-care
It’s easy as parents to put ourselves last. Our children’s needs often take precedence and it’s not uncommon for us to neglect our own needs in the process.
But here’s the thing – you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If we’re constantly running on empty, it affects our mood, our energy levels, and our ability to be good parents. This is widely acknowledged by experts.
For example, those at Psych Central have noted that a lack of self-care is associated with less patience with our children.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. By taking care of ourselves, we’re better able to take care of our children.
Whether it’s taking a half-hour walk by yourself, reading a book, or meeting up with friends – do something that replenishes you.
Your children will see a happier, more energized parent and it’ll teach them the importance of self-care too.
Final thoughts
Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. The behaviors we choose to embrace or let go of shape how our children see us and, ultimately, the lessons they carry into their own lives.
By saying goodbye to these habits, you’re not only strengthening your bond with your children but also setting an example they’ll respect and admire.
Small, consistent changes can make a big difference in how your children perceive you, now and in the future.
Keep striving to be the person you want them to look up to—it’s one of the most meaningful gifts you can give them.
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