As parents, we all want our children to grow up admiring and respecting us.
But here’s the truth: kids are far more perceptive than we often give them credit for. They notice our actions, our habits, and how we navigate life—far beyond the words we say.
Certain behaviors—whether we’re aware of them or not—can slowly chip away at the pride and admiration our kids might feel. From how we treat others to how we handle challenges, these actions can leave lasting impressions that are hard to shake.
If you want to ensure your children grow up proud of the person you are, it may be time to say goodbye to these five behaviors.
1) The comparison game
There’s a common trap that many parents fall into – the comparison game.
We all know how it goes. It’s easy to look at other families, other children, and wonder why ours aren’t the same. Why isn’t my child as well-behaved, as smart, as athletic? Why can’t my family look like that picture-perfect one on social media?
This kind of thinking, however, is dangerous terrain. Not only does it put unnecessary pressure on your kids to live up to unrealistic expectations, it also sends a message that they’re not good enough just the way they are.
Each child is unique. They have their strengths and their own pace of development.
And as Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Embrace their individuality, celebrate it even. Show them that you’re proud of who they are, not who you want them to be.
2) Excessive screen time
In our digitally-driven world, screens are everywhere.
Televisions, smartphones, tablets, computers – they’ve become an integral part of our lives. We use them for work, for entertainment, for staying connected.
But when it comes to parenting, a high amount of screen time can send the wrong message to our children. Especially when it’s at the expense of quality family time.
Studies have shown that children mimic the behaviors they observe in their parents. If they see you constantly glued to your screen, they’re likely to adopt the same habit.
Moreover, excessive screen time can often lead to missed opportunities for teaching important life skills and values. It’s during those unplugged moments – cooking together, playing a board game, sharing stories – that some of the best parenting happens.
Let’s put down those screens and engage more with our kids. Let’s show them that real interactions are more valuable than virtual ones. In doing so, we’re not just making them proud, we’re also setting them up for success in their own relationships down the line.
3) Inconsistency
Here’s one that took me far too long to learn.
Children thrive on predictability. It makes them feel secure and helps them understand how the world works. When we’re inconsistent with our actions or our expectations, it can cause confusion and anxiety.
For instance, if one day you’re strict about bedtime and the next day you’re lax about it, your child won’t know what to expect. This inconsistency can lead to power struggles and disobedience.
Consistent parenting fosters trust and promotes a sense of responsibility in children. They know what’s expected of them and they learn to meet those expectations.
The takeaway?
Strive for consistency. It might not be easy, especially when life throws curveballs our way, but it’s worth it.
4) Negative self-talk
As parents, we often put immense pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We fear making mistakes, we fear not being good enough. And often, this fear manifests as negative self-talk.
“I’m a terrible parent.” “I can’t do anything right.” Sound familiar?
Well, here’s the thing – our children are always watching, always learning from us. If they see us constantly criticizing ourselves, they may start to do the same. They might think it’s normal to be overly hard on oneself.
It’s important to remember that we’re human. We make mistakes, we stumble, and that’s okay. It’s how we grow and learn.
Let’s replace it with kindness and compassion towards ourselves. By doing this, we’re teaching our children one of the most valuable lessons of life – self-love.
5) Overlooking our own self-care
This one might seem a little out of place on a parenting list, but hear me out—self-care is actually crucial to good parenting.
First of all, neglecting your own well-being comes with a whole host of consequences. Experts have linked a lack of self-care to increased stress, low energy, and even depression.
The folks over at Psych Central note that it can even directly lead to one of parenting’s greatest struggles: a lack of patience with your children. When we’re running on empty, it’s far harder to show up as the parent we want to be.
But there’s another, perhaps even more important point: we’re setting an example. When we consistently neglect our own needs, we unintentionally teach our kids that it’s okay to ignore theirs, too.
Think about it—do we want our children growing up to believe that their well-being comes last? Or that pushing themselves to exhaustion is some kind of badge of honor?
Prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a way to model balance, resilience, and self-respect. When your children see you making time for rest, health, and joy, you’re giving them permission to do the same as they grow older.
And in the long run, that’s something they’ll both notice and appreciate.
The bottom line
Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding—and challenging—journeys.
While no one is perfect, the behaviors we choose each day have a powerful impact on how our children see us and, more importantly, how they learn to see themselves.
By letting go of these habits, we create space for growth, connection, and trust. We show our kids that it’s okay to embrace imperfection, prioritize what truly matters, and treat ourselves and others with kindness.
And years from now, when they look back, they’ll see more than just a parent—they’ll see someone they’re proud to call their role model.
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