If you want your children to be standout adults, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Have you ever wondered what makes some kids grow into confident, capable adults who stand out in the best ways?

As parents, we all want the best for our children, but sometimes, it’s not just about what we do—it’s about what we let go of.

Certain habits or behaviors, even ones that come from a place of love, can actually hold our kids back from reaching their full potential.

Today, we’re diving into seven behaviors that might be standing in the way of your child becoming the standout adult you know they can be.

Let’s get into it.

1) Overprotecting your child

Parenting can be a tough job, and it’s only natural to want to shield our children from the world’s harsh realities.

However, overprotecting them can do more harm than good.

When we constantly step in to solve their problems, we inadvertently deny them the chance to learn from their own mistakes.

This can hinder their ability to develop problem-solving skills and resilience, both of which are crucial for navigating life as an adult.

It’s important to find a balance. While we should always be there to guide and support our children, we also need to give them room to grow independently.

2) Avoiding difficult conversations

I’ll admit, this was a tough one for me. It’s so tempting to keep our children in a bubble, away from the more challenging aspects of life.

I recall a time when my son asked me about homelessness. It would have been easier to dismiss the question or deflect it with a vague answer.

But instead, I took a deep breath and explained the issue in terms he could understand.

It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was an important one. By addressing his questions honestly, it not only educated him about societal issues but also taught him empathy and compassion.

Avoiding difficult conversations can deprive our children of understanding the complexities of life. As difficult as it may be, we must prepare them for reality.

3) Failing to model good behavior

Children are like sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear. This is why our actions as parents can have a profound impact on their development.

If we exhibit positive behaviors—like kindness, empathy, and respect—they’re more likely to adopt these values as they grow.

On the other hand, negative behaviors—like anger, impatience, or dishonesty—can also be passed onto our children.

So, if we want our children to grow into standout adults, we need to ensure we’re modeling the right behavior for them to emulate. This means saying goodbye to any habits or attitudes that we wouldn’t want our children to adopt.

4) Discouraging their individuality

As parents, it’s tempting to guide our children along paths that we’re familiar with or that we think are best.

But this can sometimes lead to discouraging their individuality.

Every child is unique, with their own interests, talents, and dreams. Encouraging them to embrace their individuality helps them develop self-confidence and a strong sense of self.

When we try to mold them into something they’re not, we risk stifling their creativity and independence.

Encourage them to follow their own path. It may be different from ours, but that doesn’t make it any less valuable.

5) Neglecting self-care

I remember a time when I was so wrapped up in being the ‘perfect parent’.

I was always on the go, tending to every need, attending every event, and essentially putting myself last. Over time, I began to feel drained, and it started to affect my mood and my ability to parent effectively.

It’s easy to forget that as parents, we’re human too. We need time to rest, rejuvenate, and take care of our own needs. When we neglect our self-care, it can impact our physical health and emotional well-being, which can trickle down to our children. 

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Teaching our children the importance of self-care is an invaluable lesson. It shows them that it’s not just okay, but necessary to take time for themselves. It also models healthy habits they can carry into adulthood.

6) Not setting boundaries

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly bending over backward for your kids, only to feel frustrated or burned out later? That’s what happens when we don’t set clear boundaries.

As parents, we want to give our children the world, but without healthy limits, we risk creating a dynamic where they expect everything to revolve around them.

This can lead to entitlement and a lack of respect for others’ time and needs—qualities that won’t serve them well as adults.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being harsh or unkind; it’s about teaching your kids the importance of balance and mutual respect.

Whether it’s saying no to unreasonable demands, establishing rules about screen time, or making space for your own needs, boundaries help children understand that the world doesn’t cater to their every whim.

In the long run, boundaries teach kids self-discipline and respect for others—key traits of any standout adult. And let’s be honest, a little structure can make life a whole lot smoother for everyone involved.

7) Focusing only on achievements

In a world that’s often fixated on success and accomplishments, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring a child’s worth by their achievements. Grades, trophies, and accolades can seem like the ultimate markers of a child’s potential.

But the truth is, character matters more than accomplishments. Traits like kindness, honesty, perseverance, and empathy are what truly shape a person.

Let’s celebrate effort, resilience, and kindness as much as we do success. After all, at the end of the day, we want our children to grow into adults who are not just successful but also compassionate and ethical.

The heart of the matter

Raising confident, capable adults isn’t about being a perfect parent—it’s about being intentional.

Letting go of these behaviors can create space for your children to grow into their best selves, with your love and support guiding the way.

It’s the small, thoughtful changes we make today that can have the biggest impact tomorrow. You’ve got this!

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Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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