There’s a significant difference between being a parent and being a role model.
This difference is all about habits. As a parent, you might have certain habits you don’t even realize are influencing your child’s perspective of you.
As a role model, it’s about consciously choosing to let go of those habits that don’t contribute positively to your child’s growth and admiration for you.
If you want your child to admire you as they grow older, there are certain habits you need to say goodbye to. And trust me, understanding what these are can be a game-changer.
In this article, we’ll explore the 9 habits that could be standing in the way of you becoming the parent your child truly admires.
1) Overreacting
When it comes to parenting, keeping your cool is more important than you might think.
Kids are naturally curious, they push boundaries, and yes, they make a lot of mistakes. It’s all part of growing up.
Overreacting to these mistakes can create a sense of fear and anxiety in your child. They might start hiding things from you to avoid your reactions, and that’s not a healthy environment for them to grow up in.
Being a role model means showing your child how to handle stress and disappointment in a calm and constructive manner. It’s about teaching them that making mistakes is okay and is part of the learning process.
2) Being overly critical
I’ve got to be honest, this was a tough one for me.
Growing up, my parents were perfectionists. They believed that being critical would push me to strive for the best. But all it did was make me feel like I was never good enough.
When I became a parent, I found myself doing the same thing. I’d critique my daughter’s drawings, her schoolwork, even her attempts at cleaning her room.
I soon realized that instead of motivating her, it was discouraging her. She began to doubt herself and her abilities.
That’s when I knew I had to change.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to be more encouraging and less critical. I try to focus more on her efforts and improvements rather than just the end result.
Now, she’s more confident in herself and isn’t afraid to try new things. And you know what? She admires me more for supporting her rather than criticizing her.
3) Excessive screen time
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to spend hours glued to screens. Be it our phones, tablets, computers, or televisions, we’re constantly connected.
But did you know the average adult spends over 11 hours per day interacting with media? That’s more than half a day!
As parents, our habits influence our children. If they see us spending most of our free time on screens, they’ll likely do the same.
Excessive screen time can affect your child’s physical health and their social skills. It can also impact their perception of you as a role model.
So, let’s aim to set a better example. Try to limit your screen time and engage more in activities that promote face-to-face interaction. Your child will not only admire you more but will also develop healthier habits themselves.
4) Neglecting self-care
As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else and neglecting our own needs.
But remember, your child is watching and learning from you. If you’re constantly putting yourself last, they might grow up thinking that self-care isn’t important.
Taking care of your physical health, mental well-being, and personal interests shows your child that it’s important to respect and care for oneself.
Make time for that workout, indulge in your hobbies, or simply relax with a book. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. Your child will admire you for prioritizing yourself and learn the importance of self-care from an early age.
5) Breaking promises
We’ve all been there. We promise our child that we’ll take them to the park or watch their favorite movie together, but then work or life gets in the way.
Each time this happens, it chips away at your child’s trust in you. Broken promises can lead to feelings of disappointment and doubt.
Remember, trust is the foundation of any relationship, including the one with your child. It’s crucial to keep your word and follow through with your promises.
If circumstances prevent you from keeping a promise, communicate and apologize to your child. They’ll appreciate your honesty and it will reinforce the importance of being reliable and trustworthy. This will not only make them admire you more but also help them grow into responsible adults.
6) Not listening
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to nod along as your child talks about their day at school or their new favorite toy. But are you really listening?
Taking the time to truly listen to your child, to understand their feelings, thoughts, and experiences, is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.
When your child feels heard, they feel valued and important. It fosters their confidence and strengthens your bond with them.
So next time when your child comes to you with a story or a problem, put aside your work, put down your phone, and give them your undivided attention. Listen with empathy and understanding.
Because in the end, they won’t remember the toys you bought them or the vacations you took them on. They’ll remember how you made them feel. And that feeling of being valued and understood will make them admire you even more as they grow older.
7) Being inflexible
Here’s something I learned the hard way – parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all job.
I used to be set in my ways, believing that there was only one right way to raise a child. But my daughter taught me how wrong I was.
Every child is unique, with their own strengths, weaknesses, interests, and ways of understanding the world. Being rigid in your expectations and methods can stifle their individuality and growth.
Adapting to your child’s needs, learning style, and personality shows them that you respect their individuality. It encourages them to be true to themselves and fosters a strong parent-child relationship.
So let’s be more flexible and open-minded in our parenting. After all, our goal isn’t to raise a perfect child, but a happy one. And that’s something they’ll surely admire as they get older.
8) Avoiding difficult conversations
Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s full of difficult situations and hard truths. As parents, we may feel the urge to shield our children from these realities.
But avoiding tough conversations isn’t doing them any favors.
Discussing sensitive topics like loss, failure, or even current world issues, helps your child understand and navigate the complexities of life. It equips them with the ability to handle adversity and fosters resilience.
Don’t shy away from having these conversations. Be open, honest, and age-appropriately candid. Your child will admire you for your courage and honesty, and it will prepare them for the realities of life.
9) Not showing enough love and affection
At the end of the day, the most important thing your child needs from you is your love and affection.
Hugs, kisses, words of affirmation, quality time – these are the things that your child will remember. These are the things that make them feel secure, valued, and loved.
Showing your love and affection doesn’t make you a soft parent. It makes you a strong one. It shows your child that despite life’s ups and downs, your love for them remains constant.
Don’t hold back on expressing your love. Your child will admire you all the more for it, today, and as they grow older.
Final reflections: It’s all about love
When it comes to parenting, it’s important to understand that our actions and habits have a profound impact on our children.
But at the heart of it all is a simple, unchanging truth – love.
Dr. Virginia Satir, a renowned family therapist, once said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”
Our children don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be present, understanding, and loving. They need us to own our mistakes and learn from them.
Letting go of these nine habits isn’t just about gaining your child’s admiration as they grow older – it’s about creating a nurturing environment where they can thrive and become the best version of themselves.
So as we reflect on our parenting journey, let’s remember to lead with love. After all, it’s the most powerful influence we have.
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