Building and maintaining strong relationships with your grandchildren can be a balancing act. As they grow older, there are certain behaviors that could potentially create a wedge between you.
In my experience, saying goodbye to some of these habits can keep the bond between you and your grandchildren strong, even as they enter into adulthood.
Let’s dive into 8 behaviors you may need to let go of if you want to stay close to your grandchildren as they grow up. Trust me, it will be worth it!
1) Overstepping boundaries
The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a tricky path to navigate for both grandchildren and grandparents. Respect for personal boundaries becomes increasingly important as your grandchildren grow older.
It’s easy to forget that your adorable little grandchild is morphing into an independent adult with their own set of beliefs, opinions, and privacy needs. Overstepping these boundaries can lead to feelings of discomfort and resentment.
Remember, their choices are their own. Be it in their relationships, career paths, or lifestyle habits. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or prying into their personal matters unless they invite you to.
Being supportive and respectful of their choices is key to maintaining a close bond with them as they age. But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you can’t share your wisdom when the time is right!
Keeping this in mind will help ensure that you’re fostering a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
2) Expecting them to act like their younger selves
One time, my oldest grandchild, Sam, came to visit me after he started college. I hadn’t seen him for a while and I was eager to relive our old memories. We used to play board games, bake cookies together, and I would read him bedtime stories.
When he arrived, I had the board games ready and a batch of cookie dough in the fridge. But Sam seemed disinterested. He wanted to talk about his college experiences, his new friends and his future plans. I realized then that he had grown up and his interests had changed.
From that day onwards, I learned to see Sam as the young adult he had become, not as the little boy who used to sit on my lap during story time. Our relationship became even stronger once I embraced this change. Expecting grandchildren to remain as their younger selves can lead to disappointment and misunderstandings. Acknowledge their growth and be open to new ways to connect with them.
3) Criticizing their technology use
In this digital age, technology plays an integral part in our lives. For the younger generation, it’s even more so. They are digital natives who have grown up with smartphones, tablets, and social media.
Technology is not just a leisure tool for them. It’s a crucial part of their social interaction, learning, and even their future careers.
Criticizing their screen time or dismissing their online activities as unimportant can create a gap between you and your grandchildren. Instead of judging, try to understand and engage with their digital world. This could be as simple as asking them to teach you a new app or discussing the latest tech trends with them.
Adapting to this aspect of their lives can keep you relevant and maintain your close relationship as they grow older.
4) Ignoring their advice
It’s easy to fall into the pattern of thinking that as the elder, you’re always the one to give advice. But remember, your grandchildren are growing and learning new things every day. They have their unique perspectives and insights that can be valuable.
Ignoring or dismissing their advice just because they’re younger can send a message that you don’t value their opinions. This can create a barrier in your relationship.
Instead, show them that you respect their opinions and appreciate their input. You might be surprised at the wisdom they can offer! This mutual exchange of ideas can strengthen your bond and keep you close as they get older.
5) Holding onto past mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, it’s a part of life and growth. Your grandchildren are no different. As they navigate through their youth, they will stumble, fall and learn.
Holding onto their past mistakes and constantly bringing them up can create a feeling of guilt and regret. It can make them hesitant to share their life with you for fear of judgment.
Learning to forgive and forget is a beautiful act of love. Show them that mistakes are not failures, but lessons. By doing so, you create a safe space where they can be themselves without the fear of judgment.
This open-hearted approach will not only make them feel loved but also encourage them to stay close as they grow older.
6) Overloading them with nostalgia
When my grandchildren were young, we had so many shared experiences and traditions. I found myself constantly reminiscing about those golden days, often steering our conversations towards the past.
One day, my grandchild gently shared that while she loved hearing about the good old days, she also wanted to create new memories and traditions together.
It hit me then that while the past is precious, it’s equally important to embrace the present and look forward to the future. Overloading your grandchildren with nostalgia can sometimes make them feel trapped in the past.
So, while it’s great to share memories, also make an effort to create new ones. Engage with their present lives and plan for future experiences together. This balance can help maintain a close relationship as they grow older.
7) Avoiding difficult conversations
Growing up comes with its fair share of challenges and difficult situations. Your grandchildren might face dilemmas about friendships, relationships, career choices, or personal struggles.
While it might seem easier to avoid these tough conversations, it can lead to missed opportunities for bonding and guidance.
Facing these challenging topics head-on shows your grandchild that you’re there for them no matter what. It proves that your relationship isn’t just about the fun times, but also about support during the tough ones.
By being open and ready to discuss any topic, you can build a deeper connection and ensure your relationship remains strong as they grow older.
8) Forgetting to express your love
As your grandchildren grow and become more independent, they might not need you in the same ways they did when they were younger. But one need remains constant – the need to feel loved.
Telling your grandchildren how much you love them, how proud you are of them, and how much they mean to you, is incredibly important. It reassures them that no matter how much they grow or where life takes them, your love for them remains steadfast.
Expressing your love frequently and genuinely can keep the bond between you and your grandchildren strong throughout their lives.
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