Aging is inevitable, but how we age is a choice. It’s about how we treat ourselves and the behaviors we adopt.
Living with self-compassion as you age isn’t about pretending it’s all sunshine and rainbows. It’s about being kind to yourself, even when life throws you curveballs.
If you want to age with grace, dignity, and self-compassion, there are certain behaviors you’ll need to let go of. And trust me, I’ve learned this through years of personal experience.
Here are seven behaviors you need to bid farewell to, if you want to live with more self-compassion as you get older.
1) Being overly critical
We’re often our own harshest critics. And while a bit of self-criticism can be constructive and drive us to improve, it can also become a self-destructive habit.
As we grow older, the pressures and expectations we place on ourselves can become overwhelming. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards and then berate ourselves when we inevitably fall short.
The problem is, being overly critical doesn’t motivate us to do better. Instead, it chips away at our self-esteem and makes us feel worthless and incapable.
If you want to live with more self-compassion as you get older, it’s time to let go of this habit of intense self-criticism.
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has flaws. It’s part of being human. So instead of beating yourself up, try to view your mistakes and shortcomings with understanding and kindness.
It’s okay to strive for improvement, but not at the cost of your wellbeing. So next time you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, take a step back and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. And that’s enough.
2) Obsessing over past mistakes
It’s all too easy to get stuck in the past, especially when it comes to our mistakes.
I know I’ve done it countless times. I’d lie awake at night replaying past events in my head, berating myself for things I should have said or done differently.
But the thing is, obsessing over past mistakes doesn’t change them. It just steals our peace and robs us of the ability to enjoy the present.
I remember a time when I missed a crucial deadline at work. I was so consumed with guilt and regret that I couldn’t focus on anything else.
Instead of learning from my mistake and finding a way to make up for it, I was stuck in a cycle of self-blame.
With time, I realised that this habit was not only unhelpful but also cruel. It was like punishing myself over and over for a single mistake.
If you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, let go of this tendency to dwell on past mistakes. Accept that you’re human and you’re bound to mess up sometimes.
Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on. Trust me, you’ll feel much lighter and happier for it.
3) Neglecting self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often put everyone else’s needs before our own. We think it’s selfish to take time for ourselves when there are so many other pressing responsibilities.
According to a study, individuals who regularly practice self-care have better physical and mental health, as well as improved quality of life.
Self-care isn’t just about spa days or indulgent treats. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to relax, exercise, or engage in a hobby you love. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
If you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, it’s time to start prioritizing self-care. It’s not selfish; it’s essential for your overall health and happiness. So, say goodbye to the behavior of neglecting self-care.
4) Comparing yourself to others
In the world of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We see their highlight reels and wonder why our lives don’t seem as perfect.
But comparing ourselves to others is a one-way ticket to unhappiness. It makes us feel inadequate and unsatisfied with our own accomplishments.
If you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, it’s time to say goodbye to this behavior.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own journey. Recognize your achievements, no matter how small they might seem, and celebrate them.
After all, each one of us is unique, with our own strengths and weaknesses. And there’s no point in comparing apples to oranges.
Next time you find yourself making comparisons, remember that the only person you should be competing with is the person you were yesterday.
5) Bottling up emotions
We all experience a wide range of emotions, it’s part of being human.
However, there was a time when I would suppress any feelings that I considered to be negative or unproductive. I believed that showing these emotions meant I was weak, and so, I kept them hidden away.
But burying emotions doesn’t make them disappear. In fact, they often come back with a vengeance, leading to emotional outbursts or even mental health issues.
So, if you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, it’s crucial to let go of this habit. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, both the good and the bad. It’s okay to cry when you’re sad or express frustration when you’re upset.
Emotions aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re a sign of being human. So give yourself permission to feel and express your emotions in a healthy way. It’s not only liberating but also an essential part of self-compassion.
6) Chasing perfection
Perfection is a mirage. It’s an unattainable standard that we often chase to the detriment of our own mental health.
The constant pursuit of perfection can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. It can also prevent us from appreciating our own accomplishments, as we’re always striving for more.
If you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, it’s time to say goodbye to this relentless pursuit. Instead of trying to be perfect, aim for progress. Remember that making mistakes is part of growth and learning.
Moreover, give yourself permission to be a work in progress. Embrace your imperfections and understand that they’re part of what makes you unique. After all, it’s our quirks and flaws that make us human.
Ditch the ideal of perfection and start celebrating your beautifully imperfect self.
7) Ignoring your own needs
At the core of self-compassion is acknowledging and fulfilling your own needs. It’s about recognizing when you’re tired, stressed, or just need a break, and then taking steps to address these needs.
Ignoring your own needs can lead to burnout, resentment, and a host of mental and physical health issues. So if you want to live with more self-compassion as you age, it’s vital to say goodbye to this behavior.
Listen to your body and mind. If you need rest, allow yourself to rest. If you need nourishment, nourish yourself. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish. It’s a fundamental act of self-love and self-respect. And it’s the key to leading a happier, healthier, and more compassionate life as you age.
Final thought: It’s about self-kindness
At the heart of self-compassion lies a simple yet profound concept: kindness towards oneself.
Research conducted by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion studies, suggests that individuals who practice self-compassion lead healthier, more productive lives and are less prone to stress and anxiety.
Living with self-compassion as you age isn’t about ignoring your mistakes or shortcomings.
It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that you would extend to a loved one who’s struggling.
It’s about acknowledging that you, like everyone else, are human and therefore imperfect. It’s about recognizing your own needs and taking steps to fulfill them.
So as you move forward in your journey of life, remember to be kind to yourself. Let go of the behaviors that are holding you back from living with self-compassion.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. And that in itself is something worthy of compassion and respect.
Neuroscientist reveals a new way to manifest more financial abundance
Breakthrough Columbia study confirms the brain region is 250 million years old, the size of a walnut and accessible inside your brain right now.
