As we get older, it’s easy to fall into habits that quietly erode our ability to connect with others.
The good news? Growth is always possible, no matter your age.
By identifying and letting go of certain behaviors, you can create space for stronger connections, deeper conversations, and a richer social life.
Today, we explore eight such behaviors that might be keeping you stuck—and why saying goodbye to them is the key to improving your social skills as you grow older.
1) Insisting on being right
As we age, it’s natural to accumulate knowledge and experience.
But sometimes, this can lead to an insatiable desire to always be right. We’ve all been there, stuck in a conversation with someone who refuses to consider other perspectives.
This behavior, while it may seem harmless, can actually hinder your social skills. It creates a barrier between you and others, making genuine conversations difficult.
Instead of stubbornly insisting on being right, try to embrace the idea of learning and growing from others. Engage in discussions with the intention of understanding, not winning.
Conversations are not about proving your intelligence or superiority. They’re about fostering connections and building relationships.
2) Dominating conversations
I’ve always been a talker. I love sharing my stories, experiences, and insights. But over the years, I’ve learned that being a good conversationalist isn’t just about how well you can talk, but also how well you can listen.
Early in my career, during a networking event, I caught myself talking non-stop about my work at Hack Spirit without giving the other person a chance to share their story. Later, it dawned on me that I had learned nothing about them, and had missed an opportunity to make a deeper connection.
Dominating conversations can make others feel unheard and unimportant. To improve your social skills as you age, strive for balance in conversations. Show genuine interest in what others have to say and give them space to express themselves.
3) Holding onto a huge ego
One of the biggest barriers to improving social skills as we age is a bloated ego.
When we allow our ego to take the driver’s seat, we tend to become self-centered, less empathetic, and often dismissive of others’ feelings and perspectives.
The key is to replace ego-driven behaviors with humility and openness. It’s about listening as much as speaking, understanding as much as being understood, and valuing others as much as valuing yourself.
4) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact plays a crucial role in effective communication. It establishes a connection, expresses interest, and fosters trust. However, as we age, some of us might find maintaining eye contact increasingly challenging.
From a psychological perspective, avoiding eye contact can be a sign of discomfort or disinterest. It can make the other person feel ignored or unimportant, hampering the development of meaningful social interactions.
To improve your social skills, consciously work on maintaining an appropriate level of eye contact in conversations. It’s a simple yet powerful way to show others that you are engaged and interested in what they have to say.
5) Always avoiding conflict
It might seem counter-intuitive, but avoiding conflict at all costs can actually hinder our social skills. We often equate harmony with effectiveness in social interactions, but the fact is, conflict is a natural part of human relationships.
Avoiding conflict might make us appear agreeable in the short term, but it can lead to resentment, miscommunication, and even damaged relationships in the long run. It prevents us from expressing our feelings and asserting our needs, which are crucial for healthy social interactions.
Instead of running away from conflict, learn how to manage it effectively. This doesn’t mean picking fights or being confrontational. It’s about having respectful, honest discussions when disagreements arise.
6) Being passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressiveness is another behavior pattern that can severely hamper our social success.
While it might seem like an easy way to avoid direct confrontation, passive-aggressiveness only breeds misunderstanding and resentment. It obscures your true feelings and intentions, making it hard for others to understand or connect with you.
Strive for direct, open, and respectful communication instead. Express your feelings and thoughts honestly and assertively, while also being considerate of others.
7) Taking things personally
This is a big one.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of taking things personally, especially when interactions don’t go as expected. Whether it’s a seemingly dismissive remark or a lack of response, we tend to internalize these experiences, believing they reflect on our worth or abilities.
However, this mindset can be detrimental. It prevents us from seeing situations objectively and learning from them. More often than not, people’s actions and words are a reflection of their own thoughts and feelings, not a judgement of our worth.
So, the next time you find yourself taking something personally, take a step back. Try to view the situation objectively and remember that everyone has their own battles and perspectives. It’s not always about you.
8) Neglecting self-care
While it might not seem directly related to social skills, neglecting self-care can have a significant impact on how we interact with others. When we’re physically or emotionally drained, we’re less likely to have the energy or patience for effective social interactions.
This is well backed up by experts like those at Psych Central who have noted that a lack of self-care lead to low energy, a lack of patience and even less motivation to engage in social activities.
By prioritizing self-care, we’re not just improving our own wellbeing—we’re also equipping ourselves to be more present, empathetic, and patient in our interactions with others.
Final thoughts
The changes might seem small or insignificant, but remember, each step taken is a step closer to better social interactions and deeper connections with others.
As we bid farewell to these behaviors, we open ourselves up to a world of improved communication, empathy, and understanding. We cultivate an environment where everyone feels heard, valued, and respected.
So take the time to reflect on your own behavior. Which of these habits are you holding onto? What steps can you take towards improving your social skills?
The journey might be challenging, but the rewards are well worth it.
Here’s to cultivating better social skills as we age and fostering relationships that enrich our lives!
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